Quaker Practice: Concerns, leadings, discernment; eldering/ traveling
QUAKER PRACTICE: CONCERNS, LEADINGS, DISCERNMENT
About the Author—Jack Kirk was a member of Willistown Meeting. He attended West Chester Friends School and Westtown School. At Earlham College he was inspired by Landrum Bolling, Elton Trueblood and Hugh Barbour. He has served as pastor for Fairfield Meeting in Indiana, 2 meetings in NC, and 1 in CA. This pamphlet was originally published as “Creaturely Activities or Spiritually based Concerns” in 1987.
A concern is God-initiated, often surprising, always holy, for the life of God is breaking through into the world. Its execution is in peace and power and astounding faith and joy, for in unhurried serenity the Eternal is at work … triumphantly bringing all things up unto Himself. Thomas Kelly
“The First Motion is Love” [John Woolman]—Conscientious Friends, acting on concerns have had an impact on society in highly significant ways. There have been hundreds & thousands [besides our most famous ones], often behind the scenes, perhaps hardly noticed—faithful. Concerns are how God gets our attention & gives us portions of the Kingdom’s work to do. When a sensitive person is listening to the Inward Guide, perceiving the leadings and acting obediently, this is the way the Commonwealth goes forward.
We are loved by God who created all, & because we are loved, we can love. God has been searching for us. If God seems distant or hard to find, who has wandered? Stephen Grellet was moved to tears by conditions at Newgate prison & [passed concern on to Elizabeth Fry who said]: “We who want to be Christ's servants, must expect to do part of our Master’s work.” [Levi Coffin served prominently on Underground Railroad].
In 1902, Willis Hotchkiss, Arthur Chilson, & Edgar Hole established a Friends Mission base in Kenya. Today there are 16 thriving Friends Yearly meetings in East Africa with combined membership around 350,000. The American Friends Service Committee (AFSC) was organized in 1917 to carry out “a service of love in wartime.” A few young Quakers went to Belgium and France to repair farm machinery and prepare for spring planting. AFSC became administrators of a daily feeding program for over a million children in Germany. In 1947 the AFSC and the British Friends Service Council accepted the Nobel Prize for the feeding programs. Friends endeavor to minister to the world in a spirit of the self-giving love of the One who died on the cross.
Concern Springs from Our Prayer Life [& Friends Worship]—To pray is to risk change. As we pray our hearts come into the radiant force of God’s infinite caring. Douglas Steere notes: “In prayer, the seeds of concern have a way of appearing. Often enough a concern begins in a feeling of being personally responsible for someone or some event ... that one should do some little thing … Seeds, not fruit, are given in prayer, but they are given for planting.” The deeper we go into prayer, the more God’s perspective becomes ours, the more we are filled with the compassionate Spirit of God, and the more our hearts will be made tender and pliable.
As John Woolman “kept steadily to meetings,” a way began to open to him, & he saw the path that he must take. Woolman learned the way of concern that became the hallmark of his life in meeting for worship. William Dewsberry said: “I lay waiting for the coming Christ Jesus, who in the appointed time of the Father, appeared to my soul, as the lightings from the east & west & my dead soul heard his voice, & by his voice was made to live.”
Each meeting for worship is an adventure in communion with the Christ who lives. We can do without the bread and wine because we have Jesus Himself. Our spiritual forbears gathered for worship and trembled in their keen awareness of the Divine Presence; [Quakers quaked]. Not many of us quake any more. The 1st generation of Friends realized that they were encountering both the historic and the living Christ in their meetings for worship. In later generations, some would stress the inward, while others would proclaim the historic, thus dividing Christ. In the midst of worship we meet Him and He lays upon us the burden of the world’s suffering and sends us forth to do something specific about it.
Concerns Should be Tested—Concerns are leadings that grow in intensity to the point that they become inward imperatives. Friends have several ways to test leadings within our traditions. 1st, pray about it. Ask for clearness, and be willing to act on it or drop it. 2nd, a leading or growing concern should be checked against Scripture. Friends believe that the ultimate source of authority is the Spirit that gave forth Scriptures rather than the written word of God; they complement each other and answer one another and never contradict each other. As much as ⅔ of some of Fox’s sermons are simply Scripture texts strung together.
For the 3rd checkpoint of leadings and concerns, Michael J. Sheeran wrote: “The earliest major test of one’s leading seems to have been whether one finds the Cross in what he is drawn to.” Richard Farnsworth said to Margaret Fell: “Mind to be guided by that which crosseth your own wills, and it will bring every idle word, thought and deed to judgment; the old … will be crucified.” Do I embrace the concern or follow the leading to enhance my reputation or put myself in the spotlight? Where is my ego in all this? Am I willing to take risks to see the concern go forward? Do I rejoice when others take up the [same] work & give it leadership? Are we willing just to see God’s purposes advance?
4th, In a right leading or concern ones sees evidence of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Does it bring a deep sense of inward peace, a sense of assurance that you are in harmony with the guiding force of the universe? 5th, concerns should be checked with one’s community of faith. The individual led by Christ has a significant amount of light. The committed group, dwelling together in Christ, has even greater light. [The discernment of a] group can either confirm the leading or urge one to seek further. John Woolman never failed to clear a contemplated journey in ministry with them. At their best, Friends, [sometimes whole communities], have always highly valued and implicated trusted the Spirit-led community.
For the 6th, Hannah Whitall Smith wrote: “If a leading is of God, the way will always open for it … God goes before to open a way, and we are to follow in the way thus opened.” We run ahead of our Guide and risk a calamitous outcome when we endeavor to force action on a concern by bowling over everything that stands in the way. Friends proceed “as way opens.”
Concerns Focus Our Lives—The pursuit of Spirit-led concerns can lead to simplification of our lives. Thomas Kelly says: “It is particularization of my responsibility … in a world too vast & a lifetime too short to carry all responsibilities … The loving Presence doesn’t burden us equally with all things, but puts upon us a few central tasks as emphatic responsibilities … our share in the joyous burden of love … toward good things that need doing we feel kindly, but we are dismissed from active service in most of them.” Respond positively only to those undertakings & appeals for service that have our name written on them [as our part] in advancing the Kingdom.
The Source of Our Witness—Do our social involvements spring from an inward imperative, or are we merely picking up on things that are given popular emphasis by our society and culture? It seems that much of our social witness has attention deficit disorder. A spiritually based concern is for the long haul. It is a long obedience in the same direction. Instead of transforming the world, our faith communities are being taken over by the world’s mindset. Jesus prayed: “I do not pray that thou shouldst take them out of the world, but that thou shouldst keep them from the evil one.” Thomas Kelly writes: “We Quakers have become earthy. We are more at home with humans than we are with God … not many burn for God, long for God, or go down deep into the Waters of His life … This epoch in history is weak in great prophets of the inner life … who cry … ‘Prepare ye the way of the Lord with your hearts.” We Friends have sold our spiritual birthright for a bowl of secular pottage. We have a loyalty to the Divine that is above our loyalty to the nation state. We have a higher citizenship. Biblically our local meetings are “colonies of Heaven.”
As we act on Spirit-led concerns, we are the heralds of a dawning Commonwealth Day. Those who pursue social causes in a “creaturely” way are generally driven persons. Those who pursue Spirit-led concerns are “called persons.” Jesus calls persons. He called the disciples. He called George Fox, Margaret Fell and Marmaduke Stephenson, Mary Dyer, John Woolman, Stephen Grellet and Elizabeth Fry, and Thomas Kelly.
The called person is a person under orders, having made an irrevocable commitment. The called person’s commitment is made to the person of the Living Christ. The called person has a clear sense of identity. He or she knows the “power of a purpose,” and has a basic meaning that gives meaning to all lesser meanings. Called persons abide in the living Christ even as the branch abides in the vine. The called person realizes and acts upon the fact that her or his relationship to the living Christ is the most important thing in life. When Friends have rightly understood their vocation, they have been a “Company of Called Persons.”
Called to Wholeness—The pursuit of Spirit-led concerns draws individual Friends, local meeting, and larger bodies of Friends toward wholeness. Rarely has the vigor, power, and passionate commitment [of the 1st half-century of Friends been] seen in the 2,000 year-old story of the Church. [After the separations of Friends during most of the 19th century], each splinter group has witnessed to a portion of the Truth that George Fox and the Valiant 60 declared so forcefully. [What] Friends have divided among themselves, must be re-blended in the right proportion if another “Quaker explosion” is to be ignited. The 1st generation had a passionate love for God, a breadth of vision for the Christian enterprise, and Pentecostal fervor to carry out their mission.
We Friends in North America today have inherited our “Quaker Alphabet Soup Groups”—FGC, FUM, and EFCI. We expect certain Friends to be socially concerned and working in a dedicated way for peace, justice, and liberation, while we expect others to be evangelical and mission minded. Some Friends are scripturally minded, while others seek the Inward Light. Friends of different branches come together in agencies like AFSC, the Quaker UN Office, and the Friends Committee on National Legislation in movements for peace and justice.
Perhaps our young adults are already leading us into the dawn of a new day of Quaker wholeness, [as they have led throughout our history]. George Fox and a very high percentage of the Valiant 60 were under 30. North American and British Young Friends developed a world-wide gathering of young adult Quakers that was held in Lancashire in 2005. They shared an intense longing to experience the primitive power and presence of the Divinity in their midst that had gathered the 1st generation.
Robin Mohr coined the phrase “Convergent Friends,” which she defines as: “Friends [from different strands] seeking deeper understanding of Quaker heritage & a more authentic life in God’s kingdom. It includes Friends from the politically liberal end of the evangelical branch & from the Christian end of the unprogrammed branch … Winds of the spirit are blowing across all branches of Friends—blowing us in the same direction.
Wess Daniels observes: “Convergent Friends hold both the Bible and experience in high regard, and reject the modern dichotomy between orthodoxy and orthopraxy.” Convergent Friends say of themselves: “ We are unprogrammed, programmed, liberal, evangelical, post-liberal, post-evangelical, emerging, post-modern, Christian, seekers, young and old … We feel like there is something of substance that has gone out of our tradition, no matter what sub-group we are in. There is something we can learn from each other. We’re interested in being friends more than we’re interested in staying on our own side of the fence.”
The Spirit may very well be at work breaking down the walls of Quaker division even as these lines are being written; God has never been very big on walls that divide. The call to follow the path of Spirit-led concerns is a call to wholeness, and it is perhaps the greatest challenge facing this generation of Friends. A Friends movement restored to wholeness, with a vital spirituality and cutting-edge social witness, could come as a refreshing rain to a land scorched by secularism and [empty] because false spirituality did not fulfill its promise.
Queries: Are we as a people of God willing to be reshaped by the power of the Spirit working within us? What barriers were erected keep us from becoming close with other Friends groups? Do we carry prejudices toward other Quaker groups? Are we willing to dialog [openly] with other Friends about what it means to be a Quaker? Do Convergent Quakers hold promise for the Quaker future? What is essential for a local meeting to be a seedbed of concern? Is there a comfortable and hospitable place in your meeting for the testing of concerns? How can we “have an easy mind in the presence of desperately real needs?” Has your meeting fallen victim to a shallow age? How? How you a driven or a called person? What is a company of “called persons?”
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383. Answering the Call to Heal the World (by Patience A. Schenck; 2006)
About the Author—Patience A. Schenk has made her spiritual home in the Annapolis (MD) Friends Meeting since 1966. She has served as her meeting's clerk & on a variety of committees at the YM & the Mid-Atlantic Region level of the American Friends Service Committee. She clerks Baltimore YM Working Group on Racism among Friends. This pamphlet grew out of a workshop she offered at Friends General Conference.
[Introduction]—We Friends have some precious tools & insights to help create the conditions for peace, healthy environment, & a just society. George Fox writes: "If but one man or woman were raised by the Lord's power to stand & live in the same Spirit as the prophets & apostles ... that man or woman would shake all the country in their profession for 10 miles around." The Spirit in whose presence we wait in worship empowers us. Quaker tradition & practice offer us many riches as well. We are relatively sophisticated about politics, mindful of the effects our lifestyles have on the environment, and many of us pursue careers that allow us to make positive contributions. We see how people harm one another and our precious world, and our hearts are heavy.
Yet, for all our genuine concern, our testimonies, queries, & worship with God, most modern Friends don't make waves. Our organizations do excellent work in our names. Yet most of us [as individuals] could do & yearn to do much more. When were we last reviled? Why don't we shake the country for 10 miles round? We don't know where to begin. We can make a difference if we allow ourselves to be led by the Spirit. [After working myself to exhaustion & discouragement], I have learned some ways to focus my energy & time that refresh, rather than deplete, my spiritual vitality. Through workshops, I found that I could help others do the same.
The key is to discern how God is calling us, & to allow that call to guide our work. I will review Scriptural tradition & the lessons they teach us. There will be exercises in italics that you can do. I will outline ways to maintain faithfulness, avoid burnout, keep going, & gain satisfaction. I attempt to bring together spiritual, emotional, and practical awareness and look at how they all effect our ability to perceive and follow leadings. Being called, being led, openings, being moved, the Lord sending forth, under a feeling, truth requiring, all these terms imply hearing the still small voice within, something deeper and truer than simple individual choice, different from conscience. I will focus on the more personal sense of the Spirit leading us at a particular time and place. I will discuss the individual rather than the group. I will focus on the call to address larger problems in the world.
Call in the Bible—The Judeo-Christian tradition is rich with stories of people who were called by God. When instructed to lead his people out of Egypt, Moses responded, "But who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" Moses was "slow and hesitant of speech," but God did not accept these excuses. God promised that Aaron, Moses' brother would speak for him, but Moses was to lead. We feel inadequate to do what we feel led to do. But we stand on holy ground; if God chooses us, we must be God's hands and feet, [and believe] we are capable of going where God leads us.
Like Moses, Jeremiah protested but ultimately was faithful. [After similar protests from Jeremiah], God responded with "You shall go to whatever people I send you and say whatever I tell you to say. Fear none of them, for I am with you and will keep you safe." (Jer. 1:6-8). As God consecrated Jeremiah in the womb, so we too, gain clues to our call by examining how we were made. We see the things we feel called to as spare-time activities, like a hobby. We may need to rearrange our lives more and make God's leadings central. Saul's (later named Paul) rather violent call to service reminds us that sometimes God calls people whom no nominating committee would have considered. Saul's regaining his sight only after someone lays hands on him and recognizes his calls suggests that we need our meetings to validate our leadings.
Gifts—There is purpose in our inborn gifts & in how various influences in our lives have developed them. The array of gifts that each of us are given is one of the clues to how God calls us. We were created this way to balance others with different gifts, and our gifts prepare us for the work God has for us. Friends as a group demonstrate a particular set of them. Adam Curle lists them as: patient, quiet listening; equally at home in village or cabinet office; sympathy for "bad guys"; speaking firmly without alienating; being on good terms with both parties of a dispute; truthful; clarifying blurred perceptions; constructive sympathy; good cross-cultural communication; concerned with peace issues; practical and competent.
Our Own Gifts—How do we gain clarity about our own gifts? Make a list of some things you have done [in any part of your life] that have really lit your fire. What part of the activity did you especially enjoy? What gifts were you exhibiting? Enumerate your strengths boldly. I have used this activity in adult education sessions and asked people to stand up and confidently read off their list of what gifts they have seen and what gifts others have seen in them. This is the person God created.
We feel joy and know we are faithful when we use our gifts. [There is a fear of the risk of investing our gifts]. Elizabeth O'Connor calls it "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit." She goes on to say: "Since the 1st day of our beginning, the Spirit has brooded over the formless, dark void of our lives, calling us into existence through our gifts until they are developed ... Our gifts are the signs of our commissioning, the conveyors of our human divine love, the receptacles of our own transforming, creative power." We must identify our gifts and then we must overcome our resistance to using them.
Our Deepest Caring—We have a good inventory of our gifts. Where [specifically] do we apply our gifts? Where is my heart? What do I care about most deeply? [Different kinds of] yearnings may be both consuming and persistent. God is somewhere in all kinds of caring. Journal about: What issues brought you to tears, energized you, made you determined to act? What vision touched your heart and motivated you? What grieves you so deeply that you want to defeat it?
It can take a while to reach clearness on where our heart is. Cynicism we develop to protect us from disappointment interferes with our ability to care deeply. We have to take our time in connecting with our deepest caring. We need to give thought to those issues that arise from our suffering; there is a danger here. If our hurt isn't healed, our motivation may arise from anger more than a desire to protect others. When we are afraid, grieving, or angry, we may need to hold these feeling in God's healing Light & feel its peace before work can be grounded in Spirit. By considering both gifts & caring, we begin to discern our unique role in healing the world.
Discerning Our Call—What does a leading feel like? [The calls in] biblical stories are bigger than life. For most, call is subtle, slow to take form. George Fox's suffering as a youth was legendary, until he heard, "There is one, even Christ Jesus, that can speak to thy condition." He then set about countering false belief, deceitfulness, & vanity, exhorting people to listen to the voice within, to preach, & to work for justice. He had an unflagging sense of being led. John Woolman had a very different temperament from Fox. Woolman always paid attention to his discomfort & offered it up to God in prayer. In my own case, I once recognized during meeting for worship that I had to address conflict with a friend. As I walked to his house, I had the sense of walking hand-in-hand with God. Afterwards, I felt exhausted but deeply moved. A few months after my retirement, I came to see that I was called to anti-racism work. I cannot prove that God has called me but I feel clear.
It can be helpful for meetings to sponsor worship sharing sessions in which people express their own experiences of being led, which is part of being human, not something that happens to "special" people. When we receive that call, it can be subtle. It can take time to decipher. Over time, if clarity doesn't come, it may be because we have too many commitments. It may be time to create more space in which the Spirit may work. [If we tend to not get involved], we need to take a chance by making a commitment. Patricia Loring writes: "As we grow in the life of the Spirit, our lives come increasingly under divine guidance. We trust increasingly that promptings and leadings of the Spirit will show us the way we are to go.
How do we test whether our perceived leadings are genuine? One test is the sense of peace that follows action to which we have felt led. George Fox writes: "The Spirit of Christ, by which we are guided, isn't changeable, so as once to command us from a thing as evil, & again to move unto it." [What changes is willingness to follow.] Our leadings will be consistent with the spirit of the Scriptures & other sacred books, with Jesus' life & teachings, [with past true leadings, our own & others]. &, we can test our leadings with a clearness committee.
Sometimes Friends [misuse the term "led" & "leading" to cover basic decisions more likely decided by tired bodies or sleepy minds]. We risk depriving this concept of its meaning when we use this language lightly. Being led doesn't mean we become obediently passive or stop thinking. [We still need to educate ourselves & think of alternatives if we oppose something]. When have you felt called to some action? What was it like? How was it different from just thinking that some action would be a good idea? How was it different from following your conscience? Journal about when you thought God was calling you. Describe feelings, message given, & remaining questions. Then start a dialog with God, Jesus, St. Francis, a mentor, someone you respect. Start with: How should I use my life & gifts? Keep writing questions & answers. I don't know that the Spirit calls everyone. Whether the experience is dramatic visitations or faint intimations, it happens in God's time, not ours. We need to be alert to what part God would have us play in healing our world.
Barriers to Faithfulness: Busyness/ Urgency/ Lack of Time—A major barrier is the busy schedule we keep; we need to simplify, make room for our leadings. We must be capable of saying No to a request, even if we don't choose to do so. The key to simplicity is to use spiritual discipline to orient to the deepest place in our-selves. Thomas Kelly said: "There is Divine Abyss within us all, holy Infinite Center, Heart, Life who speaks in us & through us to the world." Another barrier is tremendous urgency we may feel when we see a wrong & want to set it right. We need to take time for discernment, letting Love guide us on the long slow path of change.
We truly may not have adequate time. We have responsibilities we can't eliminate, & we should not exhaust ourselves. If we push ourselves without the God's love as the source of our activities, we will lose our connection with God. Maybe next year will be the right time for ambitious undertakings. For now we can educate ourselves, [& do other things to prepare]. When I was beginning to feel led toward anti-racism work, I was still working, & didn't have a clear direction. [I started going amongst African Americans]. I joined a monthly interracial group. I was reading, asking questions, & learning. I now see God's hand in this progression of events, this preparation. Should we consider a job change, making our calling our profession? Perhaps what our employer asks is exactly what we feel called to do; but we are no longer answerable only to the Spirit. As volunteer workers, we have more freedom. Or, as a "released Friend," a monthly, quarterly, or yearly meeting gives you enough money or support to release you from the need to work for a living so you can follow your leading.
"Nondiscipleship costs abiding peace, a life [filled with] love, hopefulness that stands firm in the most discouraging circumstances ... In short, it costs exactly that abundance of life Jesus said he came to bring." Dallas Willard
[Moses to Joshua]: "Be strong, be resolute; you mustn't be afraid, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6)
Barriers to Faithfulness: Feeling Overwhelmed/ Lack of Balance Between Work & Relaxation/ But I am Not an Important Person—Another barrier is feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of the world's problems. Anything we do will be just a drop in the ocean. People will say, "Yes, I am doing that, but it's just a small thing. It doesn't count." It does count. It helps if we can learn the lesson that we are called to be faithful, not always successful. It isn't on our shoulders alone. We may not get to see something through to the end. [Just short of the] Promised Land, God told Moses his work was finished; he was to turn over leadership to Joshua. We do what we are able, [stop when we need to or are called to], knowing that others will be led to complement our work. Balancing work & relaxation requires wisdom. Moving from the extremes of procrastinators & constant doers requires discipline. We need to find our antidote to serious hard work & include it in our schedule.
A further barrier is the difficulty we have thinking of ourselves as important enough to do anything significant. If we use the gifts we have discovered, we might make a difference. Will we be called to bold public action or to quiet private faithfulness? With God's help & presence, we have tremendous power. We mustn't let fear of being important serve as a deciding factor in acting or not acting. Journal about how you have been silenced. Who told you to be quiet? When did you want too much for people to like you? Note specific events. Write yourself a note that says, "I can do big things with God's help." Put it somewhere in plain, daily view.
Fear of Taking Leadership/ Resistance from Others/ Fear—The fear of leadership is another barrier. But leadership is not what we thought it was in high school, neither is it bossing people around. It is having a vision and helping it come into being. This may or may not involve being a visible leader, with responsibility and making decisions. It may mean discerning, or thinking about the needs of a group as a whole rather than just our part in it. George Fox suggests another kind of leadership: "Be patterns, be examples in all places ... wherever you come; that your carriage and life may preach among all sorts of people and to them." If this role is not comfortable at first, over time we will come to think differently about ourselves.
Answering God's call can be difficult because of the way others view us. Jeremiah preached what no one wanted to hear. [He found it hard to endure the reproach and mocking. He found it harder still to hold in the word of the Lord]. "I was weary from holding it under, and could endure no more." Once we accept the call, our integrity will not let us ignore God's word burning in our heart. People are uncomfortable with change; they fight back. Perpetrators are just sheltering themselves from painful knowledge. I have felt hostile toward environmentalists who forced me to face the destruction that is befalling our earth. Those of European heritage don't like to acknowledge our collusion with an unjust system or the privileges we have because of race.
We have to remind ourselves that people's negativism is an expression of their fear of change. [There are many fears involved in this process]: fear of not knowing what to say; fear of consequences of risking resources; fear of large challenges; fear of looking foolish, of discouragement; of taking leadership. Courage isn't the absence of fear; it is action in spite of fear. We can decide that God's will, not comfort level, will be our guiding principle. Make your own list of barriers. Journal about how you might be able to deal with each of them.
Support/ Our Meetings—To overcome barriers, we need reinforcement from like-minded people. Besides support groups, we need: people who love us; share our commitment; make us clarify our stand; offer spiritual nurture; help practically; believe in & strongly affirm us. Think about different kinds of support you have in life. Write down who meets your various needs. Notice needs not met & think of people who might meet those needs. We can form relationships with people who could give us support, and we can offer similar support to others.
Our meeting can help us discern our leadings, support us and help us see when a call has ended. Like Saul, we need someone to recognize our call before the scales can fall from our eyes, allowing us to fully recognize it. Many experiencing a call do not turn to meetings for help. In clearness committee, a group of Friends gathers with us in worship, asks us questions, and helps us find the way God would have us go. The clearness committee might become a support committee. The oversight committee might be appointed to examine the ministry from the meeting's point of view. When I felt that I had a calling to anti-racism work, I asked for an ongoing committee to help me discern the validity of my calling and to be a sounding board. It occurred to me that a group of people committed to activism could meet together as a clearness committee for one another.
The End of a Leading/ Why be Faithful to Our Call?—Many of the clues that helped us discern our call can indicate when we have been released. When the work no longer uses our gifts, or enthusiasm has died, we may question our leading. Laying a call down, like accepting one requires discernment. But if the time has come, it is better to lay it down consciously than to just let it fizzle out.
A life lived in obedience to the Spirit can be challenging. It can also bring a sense of peace & oneness with all creation that makes life deeply meaningful & rich. Dallas Willard writes: "Nondiscipleship costs abiding peace, a life [filled with] love ... hopefulness that stands firm in the most discouraging circumstances ... In short, it costs exactly that abundance of life Jesus said he came to bring." Moses said to Joshua [as he passed on his "leading" & leadership], "Be strong, be resolute; you mustn't be afraid, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6)
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89. Scruples (by Gilbert Kilpack; 1956)
About the Author and Pamphlet—Gilbert Kilpack (1914-99) was born & raised in Portland, Oregon. He did undergraduate work at the University of Oregon & received an M.A. degree from Oberlin College in Christian Philosophy. He spent 5 years as Stony Run Friends Meeting's (Baltimore) executive secretary. He joined Pendle Hill's staff in '48, becoming Studies Director in '54. He gave Philadelphia Young Friends Movement’s Penn Lecture in '46, The City of God & City of Man, which was about the Hiroshima & Nagasaki bombings.
A scruple was originally an ancient Roman weight; then it developed into a word meaning “difficulty in deciding what is right.” This essay explores what it means to have scruples. His other pamphlets were: 32. Our Hearts are Restless, 1946; 63. Ninth Hour, 1951; 349. The Radiance and Risks of Mythmaking, 2000.
Scruples is not among the honored seven [deadly sins]; it deserves to stand at the head of a list of . . . “the seven subtle sins.” Faber speaks of them as “sins under the pretext of good . . . little centers of spiritual death spotting the soul, a kind of moral [rash]. [How] have you had an [unfollowed] God-given leading which . . . you feared you could not carry it through as expertly as you thought you should? We stand in the doorway to the kingdom, but a stone in our shoe keeps us always limping, always about to move on in.
Theologically, a scruple is defined as a “vain fear of sin where there is no reason . . . for suspecting sin,” A scruple as I use it here shall refer to . . . an imperfect or unbalanced conscience . . . unsupported by an equally strong faith. Place the teaching of [universal responsibility] in its great setting, the great divine-human household where God is seen to enter into and share all joy and all sorrow. With John Woolman [a scruple] . . . is his whole sensitive being, open . . . to new spiritual leading, which stops his going on in habitual and accepted ways. . . the inward “No, this I cannot do.” His . . . are prompted by . . . an earnest desire that no act or omission of his own should add to the evil and misery under which the creation groans.
[An excess of scruples] is a deficiency disease. It attacks where there is lack of grace. Self may excuse self, but the Lord’s forgiveness isn't only a release from the burden of guilt but renewal of integrity. It consumes much time and energy . . . [so that] there is . . . no time left for inspired acts of human creativity. As long as the Gospel nudges our conscience and we resist, we must make it up with rigorous performance of numerous rituals.
The scrupulous man makes himself the slave of details, he is at the mercy of minutiae. The strength of the genius lies in his command over details, his power to subject them to his vision and will. [There are] people who are filled with nervous energy and active in many affairs. . . but . . . they are doing little more than running in circles and burning up energy . . . tepid and irresolute toward life and people. The scrupulous man is a spiritual bookkeeper, and he must balance his books to the last scruple. Perfect love is not a scrupulous love. St. Augustine wrote “Love and do what thou wilt; whether thou hold thy peace, of love hold thy peace; whether thou cry out, of love cry out; whether thou correct, of love correct; whether thou spare, through love do thou spare.”
[In] the mid-18th century's American Society of Friends, being scrupulous in speech, dress, and manners became their distinguishing mark. [There was] fearful self-centeredness, a meticulous care for self-cleansing; that freedom which blossoms in spontaneity and imagination seems to have been smothered in the cradle. All attempts at self-purification of the church by means of an outward code must inevitably breed scrupulosity.
I [don’t] know many [Christians] . . . who seem to have Christ’s air of freedom. We do the right things, but without authority; our scruples limit our freedom. Christ is never seen waiting for perfect people and perfect situations to accomplish his work, and thus Christianity becomes the religion of impossible situations. Christ sees the need, he feels the divine compulsion, and the deed is accomplished. He said, “The Sabbath was made for man; not man for the Sabbath. . . You have a fine way of rejecting the commandments of God in order to keep your tradition.” Jesus’ cry of woe to the Scribes and the Pharisees . . . is a curse upon a meticulousness [and] a neglect of the all important.
Faithless ones hope to enter the Kingdom by their own endeavor and their own calculations. We can calculate how not to hurt people, but we cannot calculate how to do great good. [Jesus called for perfection, but] his . . . perfection is come into only by self-forgetfulness, the finding of self by the losing of self. It is thus a perfection which is wrought only by love, an . . . exorcism of the life of moral bookkeeping.
The perfection of the Christian life is not unlike the particular beauty of an early Gothic cathedral. The old builders seemed to know “imperfect” beauty; they knew that the perfection of the individual & of history is quite another thing from mathematical perfection . . . The ugly gargoyles on these old churches, symbolize ever-present temptation which is necessary to our perfection. There are many things in life which are worth doing which aren't worth doing scrupulously well. But I believe that those who live by faith do put them together.
The saints are not resigned to their distance from [perfection], but they accept it as the present condition of fact and rather joke about it than fret about it. St. Paul had in his lifetime shaken every known scruple by the hand and earned every right to be their bitterest opponent. . . We can appreciate Paul’s judgments, particularly when we realize that he continued all his life to wrestle with scruples. Our attention is not to be given over to the judgment of any of our works; our attention is to be given to God and to Christ.
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264. Leading and Being Led (by Paul A. Lacey; 1985)
About the Author—Born in Philadelphia in 1934, Paul A. Lacey joined Philadelphia YM in 1953, having met Quakers through weekend work camps. He has been active in civil liberties, civil rights, & East-West relations. He is Earlham’s Bain-Swiggett Professor of English Literature. This essay is companion to Quakers & the Use of Power (#241); it examines religious leadings, & where to look for leadings today. It began as a Quaker Lecture at Western YM, Plainsfield, IN, 1979, & was influenced by discussions in Damariscotta, ME, 1984.
[Language of Leadings/ George Fox, William Penn, & Robert Barclay]—Friends speak of: being drawn to an action; being called or led; being under the weight of a concern; being open to the leadings of the Light. They say it is essential to our nature to hear & obey God’s voice, [with all] the ethical, political, social, & economic consequences that go with it. It’s to know oneself capable of being taught now by the living Spirit of Truth, capable of receiving vital direction in what one is to do.
A danger is that we are so over-awed at how powerful a leading must be that we never trust that we have been led; its opposite is to not feel enough awe, [to not discern between leading & self-will]. As heirs to that rich vocabulary, [we need] to recover its proper meaning and free it from pretentiousness. What are hallmarks and consequences of being led? How can we tell when a leading is genuine? Where do we look for leadings?
` George Fox does not often speak of “leadings.” He speaks of a series of great openings: “The Lord said unto me, ‘Thou seest how young people go together into vanity and old people into the earth; thou must forsake all … and be as a stranger unto all.” In the 3rd year of these wanderings, he has a series of great openings: he has it opened to him that no one is truly a believer who has not passed from death to life; something more than university training is essential to being a minister; the people of God, not the building, is the church of God.
These openings help clear away error, but Fox doesn’t yet know who God’s people are or what makes a true minister. Openings, sorrows & temptations all occur intermixed in this time of Fox’s 1st searching. Even after the revelation “There is one, even Christ Jesus, who can speak to thy condition,” Fox still passes through worse sorrows & temptations than he had yet experienced. [His leadings led him] to do things which were inexplicable to him, impelled by a hint or a call to testify, or to feel commanded to walk barefoot in winter through Litchfield’s streets. Even for a great religious prophet, leadings can be uncertain & ambiguous, an occasion for risk.
Consider [also] the example of William Penn. At least 10 years elapsed between the 1st & 2nd times he heard Thomas Loe preach. There was ferment in his soul, but he was no Quaker. He threatened to throw an intruder down the meeting stairs. Friends must have been troubled about how this new enthusiast was going to fit into the Society. Robert Barclay wrote in Apology: “I felt a secret power among them, which touched my heart, & as I gave way unto it, I found the evil weakening in me, and the good raised up; I was knit and united unto them.”
[Hallmarks of Leadings]—1st, the leading is directed inwardly. We may feel emptiness and separation from other people, and feel required to act out those inner experiences. We learn in some detail about our own condition—both what it is and what it might become. [While others fit our behavior into] some developmental scheme or mid-life crisis, that doe not account for it. It is an ultimate test in meaning, integrity, and fellowship.
2nd, we recognize that our endurance comes as a gift, an opening; 3rd, we learn about people. We see that we are part of suffering humanity; whatever comforts us will have to be for all humankind. For Fox, to have one’s condition spoken was to learn hard truth or be brought to judgment. That of God for him might be totally at odds with what one was doing or saying. To answer that of God in God’s adversaries means being a terror & dread to them; it means speaking to what lies imprisoned in them [and perhaps throw them into confusion]. To know our own condition & the condition of others is to know the witness within each of us which can lead us out of error.
A 4th hallmark of a leading is that we feel ourselves increasingly under obedience. A gather power of conviction within us sustains our courage and patience and then points us to first steps in a re-ordering of our lives; the steps gradually become bigger and more defined. At first, Fox did not know what would speak to his condition; Penn was a clumsy seeker for more than 10 years before following his leadings and even then he stumbled. Barclay wanted intellectual cogency, but the meeting began to define his condition even as it spoke to it. At the moment of greatest emptiness or greatest need, God begins to turn separate openings to good account. The fullest expression of one’s fundamental leading may be to do what one does best.
[My Personal Leadings]—My 1st encounter with Quakers came in high school, weekend work camp. They spoke of answering that of God in even the most despairing and hardened persons. Their lives testified to a depth and integrity which touched me. Sitting in silence did not come natural to me. Gradually I found myself more at ease in the silence. Later I realized that there was something behind the words which was reaching me, a “secret power.” My 1st leading was through the evident goodness and effectiveness of Friends and the peacefulness of a meeting. I found myself struggling with the peace testimony.
For weeks I felt haunted by the question, torn & terrified by the consequences of accepting or rejecting the peace testimony. After a sleepless night, I knew I was a conscientious objector & would have to give up force as a solution to anything—for the rest of my life. I had been led inevitably to this choice, but I felt frightened at what had happened to me; I felt defenseless in a violent world. I was given a leading which, in effect, immersed me in terror & the stuff of violence so that I could know my condition and work with it; my experiences are not unique.
I speak neither easily nor often in meeting for worship. Silence can be not the absence of sound but something full of energy. In meeting for worship this energy is pooled, gathered, shared by all of us. Each person who spoke seemed to know what it would help me to hear. [Vocal ministry] shaped what had come into my mind. Phrases & images arranged themselves in clusters & a loose sequence. They began to take shape as a message. I felt a physical weakness and was so shaken that I did not speak; I felt as though I had failed at something.
A few weeks later the process repeated it self. I felt the heart-pounding weakness, but this time I stood up, and the weakness stopped as soon as I began to speak. I never speak in meeting for worship without that feeling of intensity, clarity, a given message, and a heart-pounding weakness. I should not speak in meeting without feeling impelled and awed by what I am doing. The command to speak and the capacity to follow it come from a source of power far beyond one’s own limits.
[Tests of Leadings]—When we are led to the truth it is so we may live by it & do something with it. Early in Quaker history the community of faith had to find means to discern the true from the false leading & helping the individual test the validity of his or her inward experience. Hugh Barbour describes 4 tests which Friends came to apply to leadings: moral purity, patience, the self-consistency of the spirit, & bringing people into unity.
Moral purity was demonstrated by obeying calls which come simply as tests of our obedience. Even the lawful self, our goodness, our wish to help others, our healthy minds, need to be placed under obedience. Patience is a sound test, since “self-will is impatient of tests.” Friends learn to wait in silent worship. Friends’ organizing structure is used so Friends can submit leadings to other Friends and wait for clearness to proceed.
The test of self-consistency of the spirit rests on the principle that Light won’t contradict itself by leading different people to conflicting actions. If other Friends receive similar callings, or there are similar leadings in the Bible, those are evidence of a consistent spirit. The test is also for how individuals follow leadings in one’s own life. Where an apparent leading brings discord, every member of the community is obliged to examine one’s self as well as his neighbor, to see how unity may be restored. It may mean urging greater patience on those eager for action, or it may mean encouraging the slow to change to heed the witness of those more socially concerned.
[John Woolman’s Testing of Leadings]—His visit to the Indians begins with “inward drawings” to them in fall 1761; in winter 1762, he 1st shares his feelings with his several meetings and “having the unity of Friends,” he begins arrangements in spring 1763, to travel that summer. He closely tests his motives “lest the desire of reputation as a man firmly settled to persevere through dangers,” or a fear of disgrace for not doing it “have some place in me.” “I could not find that I had ever given way to the willful disobedience.”
Woolman wrote: “Love was the 1st motion, and then a concern arose to spend some time with Indians, that I might feel & understand their life and the spirit they live in … I might receive instruction from [or help them].” This perfectly summarizes the characteristics of a true leading. It begins inwardly, as a process or motion of caring [with a vague direction & object]. From patient waiting a concern arises and becomes clarified. The concern for the Indians steadily gathers force until it is discharged in the successful completion of the trip.
His concern for Barbados begins in bodily weakness and exercise of mind, but finds no vent in action. After a year Woolman feels a duty to “open my condition” to his monthly meeting; he receives certificates to travel. He consults a ship owner about passage, believing he should pay extra “as a testimony in favor of less [slave] trading, [which] subsidizes travel costs. Woolman still does not feel clearness to board the ship. In a few weeks “it pleased the Lord to visit me with a pleurisy” to the point of death.
In the turmoil of waiting, an incident from his past comes to his consciousness. He [facilitated] a transaction involved an indentured white slave, who had been sold for 9 years longer than was common. His exercise concerning the Barbados presses him to a self-consistency before he can take a further step. He believes he must be resigned to taking an arduous journey to Barbados but finds instead the arduous journey is inward [during his illness], into past motives and behavior. He knows that his will is finally entirely absorbed in God.
[Tests of Discernment of Leadings/ Testifying to the Truth of a Leading]—“Be like Woolman” may not be helpful advice to those of us still struggling to be ourselves with integrity. Perhaps “be like members of Woolman’s meeting”; help each other to be faithful to leadings. Tests of discernment must be applied with discernment. We are more likely than our predecessors to recognize that the group as well as the individual stands under scrutiny. An individual rightly led in a stagnant meeting may still wait for clearness to proceed in order to keep fellowship and help the group to grow.
[All manner of issues in the form of leadings are brought to the meeting by individuals]. We can no more prevent someone from doing as he or she feels led than the 1st generation of Friends could. We can only decide to keep or break fellowship, expressing unity with a Friend, express lack of clearness, or repudiating his or her action. Is this the right action, for this time and place? Is this person rightly prepared to undertake the action? Together these questions point to self-consistency, moral purity and patience of the individual.
Whatever Friends did as a specific testimony took its primary validity from its function of turning people to the Inward Teacher. To be led to the Inward Teacher is to find fellowship with others and calling for oneself. The community of finders, those who are led by the Inward Teacher, is also led to create instruments and institutions which facilitate the following of the truth. Human beings, by their nature, must create social means to express the truth. To create the conditions of social justice, we must create new economic and social patterns, not no patterns. [Establishing something like a school] means substantiating the original inspiration through sustained study of education itself and continual return to the spring of inspiration, the Inward Teacher.
[Concern & Testimonies]—Quaker testimonies which arise from the Light of Christ’s nature are: Community, Harmony, Equality, Simplicity. Tensions invariably exist between waiting for a process to clarify itself & acting in time to be effective. Tensions also arise between competing claims of different testimonies. What are simplicity testimony’s appropriate expressions today? We know testimonies have bearing on these problems; there’s no automatically correct way to apply them. The leadings which come must be appropriate to our skill & knowledge, our strengths & our sense of integrity. [I have opportunity to be faithful to my leadings in my voting].
How can we be led when testimonies seem to be in tension? For some the abortion issue revolves around the right of human beings to make choices about their bodies. They see an oppressive patriarchal system and laws. Support of women’s free choice is consonant with the testimonies for equality, social justice and peace. For others the abortion question revolves around the sacredness of all human life. The fetus is the most defenseless of humans; ending it is murder. The testimonies of social justice and peace are also at issue; the sacredness of God-given life is paramount. How can a pacifist condone the taking of life in an abortion?
Each side accuses the other of inconsistency & moral blindness. “Right to Life” & “Freedom of Choice” become mindless slogans & war cries. How can we be open to a leading on abortion? We might try to imagine the suffering of women who [wish they had, or wish they hadn’t had an abortion]. We might try to imagine the pain of death for small sparks of life, the fetuses. We might try to put ourselves in our adversaries’ situations, asking what we can learn from their sincerity & insight, & live for a time with the pain of indecision, the turmoil of taking seriously every conviction sincerely held, & admitting the inadequacy of each. If we start with conviction we are gathered to be led by Inward Teachers & that our actions must follow from this, the actions we are led to will be better-rooted, more deeply considered, more tender in their understanding, & possibly more significant.
[Testifying for Justice: Then & Now]—Only with the benefit of hindsight can we say that leadings [of Friends in generations past] were clear. For most of us the leadings we have had are unlikely to have some miraculous opening. Our ways to meet the needs for social, political, & economic justice must be different, in an age of industrialization, & [complex global issues]. I dimly discern some ways I can order & focus my life in relation to such issues, but often I do not see a single clear leading for myself. The appropriate testimonies will have to come out of testing: individual against community; present against past; our faith community against others.
George Fox wrote: “[there is] a sitting of the justices about hiring of servants; and it was upon me from the Lord to go and speak to the justices that they should not oppress the servants in their wages.” He missed his 1st opportunity to speak to them, “and I was struck even blind that I could not see.” He found they were meeting at a town 8 miles away, and “my sight began to come to me again, and I went and ran thitherward as fast as I could.” Fox delays in acting until it appears too late. He loses his sight, until it appears he has not lost all chance to be obedient to his leading. Most significant of all, his sight comes back as he runs. Even when we are obedient, we will not always know where we are to go or how far. Our sight will come to us as we go. The consequences will be out of our hands, but we will know that we did what we were called to do—to follow our lead.
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448.The Inner Guide vs. the Inner Critic: Journey from Judgment to Love (by Christine Wolff; 2017)
About the Author—Christine Wolff is a member of Framingham MM in MA. She has been involved with Friends for about 40 years, beginning with an American Friends Service Committee work project. She has been a psychologist during that time, and is a student of the Diamond Approach, a merging of psychology and spirituality. She has studied Buddhist meditation and other schools of psychology.
[Introduction]—The Guide says, "Be my voice in the world—stand up & speak." The Critic says, Sit down. No one wants to hear what you think." The critic may come up with a paranoid scenario of consequences that will befall me if I speak. How do we find courage to step out of consensual reality in order to follow an unseen inner guide? I have become aware of the critic's role in the spiritual journey through the Diamond Approach. The critic was often in conflict & confused with the Inner Guide, which helps discern right action. This pamphlet integrates Quaker, psychotherapy, & Diamond Approach thought, & includes personal experiences & suggested exercises. Psychology can add to our ability as humans to embody spirituality in our daily lives.
It came to me that our personalities are like boxes surrounding us, blocking access to Divine Love and Light. The spiritual journey shows more openings in the boxes until they become very porous, allowing more light and access to that loving presence. The inner critic seeks a solid box for what it thinks of as safety.
What is the Inner Critic?—I see the inner critic as a part of self that assumes it is an authority on right & wrong; it is judge. It points out mistakes, & makes you feel like a bad person. [e.g.] Don't ask such stupid questions; You haven't accomplished anything. The critic thinks like the child we were when it originated. If we aren't wonderful we are terrible. It compares us to everyone else. It is our inner child's inflexible version of our parent's standards. Everyone has one. It is a question of how much influence it has. My critic took part in this writing process. A still, small, voice keeps nagging me to finish. Is it the critic or the Inner Guide? How do I tell?
The voice of the critic is sometimes quiet or we are only partially conscious of it. The critic keeps us feeling small, isolated, and unworthy, lacking in faith. It is difficult to sort out the difference between our critical projections onto others and reality, because we tend to believe what our minds tell us. Many of us grew up feeling that love depended on being whatever our parents valued most. We may have been disciplined in unhealthy ways. Being disciplined with guilt gives one an especially strong critic.
[Moses to Joshua]: "Be strong, be resolute; you mustn't be afraid, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6)
Barriers to Faithfulness: Feeling Overwhelmed/ Lack of Balance Between Work & Relaxation/ But I am Not an Important Person—Another barrier is feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of the world's problems. Anything we do will be just a drop in the ocean. People will say, "Yes, I am doing that, but it's just a small thing. It doesn't count." It does count. It helps if we can learn the lesson that we are called to be faithful, not always successful. It isn't on our shoulders alone. We may not get to see something through to the end. [Just short of the] Promised Land, God told Moses his work was finished; he was to turn over leadership to Joshua. We do what we are able, [stop when we need to or are called to], knowing that others will be led to complement our work. Balancing work & relaxation requires wisdom. Moving from the extremes of procrastinators & constant doers requires discipline. We need to find our antidote to serious hard work & include it in our schedule.
A further barrier is the difficulty we have thinking of ourselves as important enough to do anything significant. If we use the gifts we have discovered, we might make a difference. Will we be called to bold public action or to quiet private faithfulness? With God's help & presence, we have tremendous power. We mustn't let fear of being important serve as a deciding factor in acting or not acting. Journal about how you have been silenced. Who told you to be quiet? When did you want too much for people to like you? Note specific events. Write yourself a note that says, "I can do big things with God's help." Put it somewhere in plain, daily view.
Fear of Taking Leadership/ Resistance from Others/ Fear—The fear of leadership is another barrier. But leadership is not what we thought it was in high school, neither is it bossing people around. It is having a vision and helping it come into being. This may or may not involve being a visible leader, with responsibility and making decisions. It may mean discerning, or thinking about the needs of a group as a whole rather than just our part in it. George Fox suggests another kind of leadership: "Be patterns, be examples in all places ... wherever you come; that your carriage and life may preach among all sorts of people and to them." If this role is not comfortable at first, over time we will come to think differently about ourselves.
Answering God's call can be difficult because of the way others view us. Jeremiah preached what no one wanted to hear. [He found it hard to endure the reproach and mocking. He found it harder still to hold in the word of the Lord]. "I was weary from holding it under, and could endure no more." Once we accept the call, our integrity will not let us ignore God's word burning in our heart. People are uncomfortable with change; they fight back. Perpetrators are just sheltering themselves from painful knowledge. I have felt hostile toward environmentalists who forced me to face the destruction that is befalling our earth. Those of European heritage don't like to acknowledge our collusion with an unjust system or the privileges we have because of race.
We have to remind ourselves that people's negativism is an expression of their fear of change. [There are many fears involved in this process]: fear of not knowing what to say; fear of consequences of risking resources; fear of large challenges; fear of looking foolish, of discouragement; of taking leadership. Courage isn't the absence of fear; it is action in spite of fear. We can decide that God's will, not comfort level, will be our guiding principle. Make your own list of barriers. Journal about how you might be able to deal with each of them.
Support/ Our Meetings—To overcome barriers, we need reinforcement from like-minded people. Besides support groups, we need: people who love us; share our commitment; make us clarify our stand; offer spiritual nurture; help practically; believe in & strongly affirm us. Think about different kinds of support you have in life. Write down who meets your various needs. Notice needs not met & think of people who might meet those needs. We can form relationships with people who could give us support, and we can offer similar support to others.
Our meeting can help us discern our leadings, support us and help us see when a call has ended. Like Saul, we need someone to recognize our call before the scales can fall from our eyes, allowing us to fully recognize it. Many experiencing a call do not turn to meetings for help. In clearness committee, a group of Friends gathers with us in worship, asks us questions, and helps us find the way God would have us go. The clearness committee might become a support committee. The oversight committee might be appointed to examine the ministry from the meeting's point of view. When I felt that I had a calling to anti-racism work, I asked for an ongoing committee to help me discern the validity of my calling and to be a sounding board. It occurred to me that a group of people committed to activism could meet together as a clearness committee for one another.
The End of a Leading/ Why be Faithful to Our Call?—Many of the clues that helped us discern our call can indicate when we have been released. When the work no longer uses our gifts, or enthusiasm has died, we may question our leading. Laying a call down, like accepting one requires discernment. But if the time has come, it is better to lay it down consciously than to just let it fizzle out.
A life lived in obedience to the Spirit can be challenging. It can also bring a sense of peace & oneness with all creation that makes life deeply meaningful & rich. Dallas Willard writes: "Nondiscipleship costs abiding peace, a life [filled with] love ... hopefulness that stands firm in the most discouraging circumstances ... In short, it costs exactly that abundance of life Jesus said he came to bring." Moses said to Joshua [as he passed on his "leading" & leadership], "Be strong, be resolute; you mustn't be afraid, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6)
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89. Scruples (by Gilbert Kilpack; 1956)
About the Author and Pamphlet—Gilbert Kilpack (1914-99) was born & raised in Portland, Oregon. He did undergraduate work at the University of Oregon & received an M.A. degree from Oberlin College in Christian Philosophy. He spent 5 years as Stony Run Friends Meeting's (Baltimore) executive secretary. He joined Pendle Hill's staff in '48, becoming Studies Director in '54. He gave Philadelphia Young Friends Movement’s Penn Lecture in '46, The City of God & City of Man, which was about the Hiroshima & Nagasaki bombings.
A scruple was originally an ancient Roman weight; then it developed into a word meaning “difficulty in deciding what is right.” This essay explores what it means to have scruples. His other pamphlets were: 32. Our Hearts are Restless, 1946; 63. Ninth Hour, 1951; 349. The Radiance and Risks of Mythmaking, 2000.
Scruples is not among the honored seven [deadly sins]; it deserves to stand at the head of a list of . . . “the seven subtle sins.” Faber speaks of them as “sins under the pretext of good . . . little centers of spiritual death spotting the soul, a kind of moral [rash]. [How] have you had an [unfollowed] God-given leading which . . . you feared you could not carry it through as expertly as you thought you should? We stand in the doorway to the kingdom, but a stone in our shoe keeps us always limping, always about to move on in.
Theologically, a scruple is defined as a “vain fear of sin where there is no reason . . . for suspecting sin,” A scruple as I use it here shall refer to . . . an imperfect or unbalanced conscience . . . unsupported by an equally strong faith. Place the teaching of [universal responsibility] in its great setting, the great divine-human household where God is seen to enter into and share all joy and all sorrow. With John Woolman [a scruple] . . . is his whole sensitive being, open . . . to new spiritual leading, which stops his going on in habitual and accepted ways. . . the inward “No, this I cannot do.” His . . . are prompted by . . . an earnest desire that no act or omission of his own should add to the evil and misery under which the creation groans.
[An excess of scruples] is a deficiency disease. It attacks where there is lack of grace. Self may excuse self, but the Lord’s forgiveness isn't only a release from the burden of guilt but renewal of integrity. It consumes much time and energy . . . [so that] there is . . . no time left for inspired acts of human creativity. As long as the Gospel nudges our conscience and we resist, we must make it up with rigorous performance of numerous rituals.
The scrupulous man makes himself the slave of details, he is at the mercy of minutiae. The strength of the genius lies in his command over details, his power to subject them to his vision and will. [There are] people who are filled with nervous energy and active in many affairs. . . but . . . they are doing little more than running in circles and burning up energy . . . tepid and irresolute toward life and people. The scrupulous man is a spiritual bookkeeper, and he must balance his books to the last scruple. Perfect love is not a scrupulous love. St. Augustine wrote “Love and do what thou wilt; whether thou hold thy peace, of love hold thy peace; whether thou cry out, of love cry out; whether thou correct, of love correct; whether thou spare, through love do thou spare.”
[In] the mid-18th century's American Society of Friends, being scrupulous in speech, dress, and manners became their distinguishing mark. [There was] fearful self-centeredness, a meticulous care for self-cleansing; that freedom which blossoms in spontaneity and imagination seems to have been smothered in the cradle. All attempts at self-purification of the church by means of an outward code must inevitably breed scrupulosity.
I [don’t] know many [Christians] . . . who seem to have Christ’s air of freedom. We do the right things, but without authority; our scruples limit our freedom. Christ is never seen waiting for perfect people and perfect situations to accomplish his work, and thus Christianity becomes the religion of impossible situations. Christ sees the need, he feels the divine compulsion, and the deed is accomplished. He said, “The Sabbath was made for man; not man for the Sabbath. . . You have a fine way of rejecting the commandments of God in order to keep your tradition.” Jesus’ cry of woe to the Scribes and the Pharisees . . . is a curse upon a meticulousness [and] a neglect of the all important.
Faithless ones hope to enter the Kingdom by their own endeavor and their own calculations. We can calculate how not to hurt people, but we cannot calculate how to do great good. [Jesus called for perfection, but] his . . . perfection is come into only by self-forgetfulness, the finding of self by the losing of self. It is thus a perfection which is wrought only by love, an . . . exorcism of the life of moral bookkeeping.
The perfection of the Christian life is not unlike the particular beauty of an early Gothic cathedral. The old builders seemed to know “imperfect” beauty; they knew that the perfection of the individual & of history is quite another thing from mathematical perfection . . . The ugly gargoyles on these old churches, symbolize ever-present temptation which is necessary to our perfection. There are many things in life which are worth doing which aren't worth doing scrupulously well. But I believe that those who live by faith do put them together.
The saints are not resigned to their distance from [perfection], but they accept it as the present condition of fact and rather joke about it than fret about it. St. Paul had in his lifetime shaken every known scruple by the hand and earned every right to be their bitterest opponent. . . We can appreciate Paul’s judgments, particularly when we realize that he continued all his life to wrestle with scruples. Our attention is not to be given over to the judgment of any of our works; our attention is to be given to God and to Christ.
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264. Leading and Being Led (by Paul A. Lacey; 1985)
About the Author—Born in Philadelphia in 1934, Paul A. Lacey joined Philadelphia YM in 1953, having met Quakers through weekend work camps. He has been active in civil liberties, civil rights, & East-West relations. He is Earlham’s Bain-Swiggett Professor of English Literature. This essay is companion to Quakers & the Use of Power (#241); it examines religious leadings, & where to look for leadings today. It began as a Quaker Lecture at Western YM, Plainsfield, IN, 1979, & was influenced by discussions in Damariscotta, ME, 1984.
[Language of Leadings/ George Fox, William Penn, & Robert Barclay]—Friends speak of: being drawn to an action; being called or led; being under the weight of a concern; being open to the leadings of the Light. They say it is essential to our nature to hear & obey God’s voice, [with all] the ethical, political, social, & economic consequences that go with it. It’s to know oneself capable of being taught now by the living Spirit of Truth, capable of receiving vital direction in what one is to do.
A danger is that we are so over-awed at how powerful a leading must be that we never trust that we have been led; its opposite is to not feel enough awe, [to not discern between leading & self-will]. As heirs to that rich vocabulary, [we need] to recover its proper meaning and free it from pretentiousness. What are hallmarks and consequences of being led? How can we tell when a leading is genuine? Where do we look for leadings?
` George Fox does not often speak of “leadings.” He speaks of a series of great openings: “The Lord said unto me, ‘Thou seest how young people go together into vanity and old people into the earth; thou must forsake all … and be as a stranger unto all.” In the 3rd year of these wanderings, he has a series of great openings: he has it opened to him that no one is truly a believer who has not passed from death to life; something more than university training is essential to being a minister; the people of God, not the building, is the church of God.
These openings help clear away error, but Fox doesn’t yet know who God’s people are or what makes a true minister. Openings, sorrows & temptations all occur intermixed in this time of Fox’s 1st searching. Even after the revelation “There is one, even Christ Jesus, who can speak to thy condition,” Fox still passes through worse sorrows & temptations than he had yet experienced. [His leadings led him] to do things which were inexplicable to him, impelled by a hint or a call to testify, or to feel commanded to walk barefoot in winter through Litchfield’s streets. Even for a great religious prophet, leadings can be uncertain & ambiguous, an occasion for risk.
Consider [also] the example of William Penn. At least 10 years elapsed between the 1st & 2nd times he heard Thomas Loe preach. There was ferment in his soul, but he was no Quaker. He threatened to throw an intruder down the meeting stairs. Friends must have been troubled about how this new enthusiast was going to fit into the Society. Robert Barclay wrote in Apology: “I felt a secret power among them, which touched my heart, & as I gave way unto it, I found the evil weakening in me, and the good raised up; I was knit and united unto them.”
[Hallmarks of Leadings]—1st, the leading is directed inwardly. We may feel emptiness and separation from other people, and feel required to act out those inner experiences. We learn in some detail about our own condition—both what it is and what it might become. [While others fit our behavior into] some developmental scheme or mid-life crisis, that doe not account for it. It is an ultimate test in meaning, integrity, and fellowship.
2nd, we recognize that our endurance comes as a gift, an opening; 3rd, we learn about people. We see that we are part of suffering humanity; whatever comforts us will have to be for all humankind. For Fox, to have one’s condition spoken was to learn hard truth or be brought to judgment. That of God for him might be totally at odds with what one was doing or saying. To answer that of God in God’s adversaries means being a terror & dread to them; it means speaking to what lies imprisoned in them [and perhaps throw them into confusion]. To know our own condition & the condition of others is to know the witness within each of us which can lead us out of error.
A 4th hallmark of a leading is that we feel ourselves increasingly under obedience. A gather power of conviction within us sustains our courage and patience and then points us to first steps in a re-ordering of our lives; the steps gradually become bigger and more defined. At first, Fox did not know what would speak to his condition; Penn was a clumsy seeker for more than 10 years before following his leadings and even then he stumbled. Barclay wanted intellectual cogency, but the meeting began to define his condition even as it spoke to it. At the moment of greatest emptiness or greatest need, God begins to turn separate openings to good account. The fullest expression of one’s fundamental leading may be to do what one does best.
[My Personal Leadings]—My 1st encounter with Quakers came in high school, weekend work camp. They spoke of answering that of God in even the most despairing and hardened persons. Their lives testified to a depth and integrity which touched me. Sitting in silence did not come natural to me. Gradually I found myself more at ease in the silence. Later I realized that there was something behind the words which was reaching me, a “secret power.” My 1st leading was through the evident goodness and effectiveness of Friends and the peacefulness of a meeting. I found myself struggling with the peace testimony.
For weeks I felt haunted by the question, torn & terrified by the consequences of accepting or rejecting the peace testimony. After a sleepless night, I knew I was a conscientious objector & would have to give up force as a solution to anything—for the rest of my life. I had been led inevitably to this choice, but I felt frightened at what had happened to me; I felt defenseless in a violent world. I was given a leading which, in effect, immersed me in terror & the stuff of violence so that I could know my condition and work with it; my experiences are not unique.
I speak neither easily nor often in meeting for worship. Silence can be not the absence of sound but something full of energy. In meeting for worship this energy is pooled, gathered, shared by all of us. Each person who spoke seemed to know what it would help me to hear. [Vocal ministry] shaped what had come into my mind. Phrases & images arranged themselves in clusters & a loose sequence. They began to take shape as a message. I felt a physical weakness and was so shaken that I did not speak; I felt as though I had failed at something.
A few weeks later the process repeated it self. I felt the heart-pounding weakness, but this time I stood up, and the weakness stopped as soon as I began to speak. I never speak in meeting for worship without that feeling of intensity, clarity, a given message, and a heart-pounding weakness. I should not speak in meeting without feeling impelled and awed by what I am doing. The command to speak and the capacity to follow it come from a source of power far beyond one’s own limits.
[Tests of Leadings]—When we are led to the truth it is so we may live by it & do something with it. Early in Quaker history the community of faith had to find means to discern the true from the false leading & helping the individual test the validity of his or her inward experience. Hugh Barbour describes 4 tests which Friends came to apply to leadings: moral purity, patience, the self-consistency of the spirit, & bringing people into unity.
Moral purity was demonstrated by obeying calls which come simply as tests of our obedience. Even the lawful self, our goodness, our wish to help others, our healthy minds, need to be placed under obedience. Patience is a sound test, since “self-will is impatient of tests.” Friends learn to wait in silent worship. Friends’ organizing structure is used so Friends can submit leadings to other Friends and wait for clearness to proceed.
The test of self-consistency of the spirit rests on the principle that Light won’t contradict itself by leading different people to conflicting actions. If other Friends receive similar callings, or there are similar leadings in the Bible, those are evidence of a consistent spirit. The test is also for how individuals follow leadings in one’s own life. Where an apparent leading brings discord, every member of the community is obliged to examine one’s self as well as his neighbor, to see how unity may be restored. It may mean urging greater patience on those eager for action, or it may mean encouraging the slow to change to heed the witness of those more socially concerned.
[John Woolman’s Testing of Leadings]—His visit to the Indians begins with “inward drawings” to them in fall 1761; in winter 1762, he 1st shares his feelings with his several meetings and “having the unity of Friends,” he begins arrangements in spring 1763, to travel that summer. He closely tests his motives “lest the desire of reputation as a man firmly settled to persevere through dangers,” or a fear of disgrace for not doing it “have some place in me.” “I could not find that I had ever given way to the willful disobedience.”
Woolman wrote: “Love was the 1st motion, and then a concern arose to spend some time with Indians, that I might feel & understand their life and the spirit they live in … I might receive instruction from [or help them].” This perfectly summarizes the characteristics of a true leading. It begins inwardly, as a process or motion of caring [with a vague direction & object]. From patient waiting a concern arises and becomes clarified. The concern for the Indians steadily gathers force until it is discharged in the successful completion of the trip.
His concern for Barbados begins in bodily weakness and exercise of mind, but finds no vent in action. After a year Woolman feels a duty to “open my condition” to his monthly meeting; he receives certificates to travel. He consults a ship owner about passage, believing he should pay extra “as a testimony in favor of less [slave] trading, [which] subsidizes travel costs. Woolman still does not feel clearness to board the ship. In a few weeks “it pleased the Lord to visit me with a pleurisy” to the point of death.
In the turmoil of waiting, an incident from his past comes to his consciousness. He [facilitated] a transaction involved an indentured white slave, who had been sold for 9 years longer than was common. His exercise concerning the Barbados presses him to a self-consistency before he can take a further step. He believes he must be resigned to taking an arduous journey to Barbados but finds instead the arduous journey is inward [during his illness], into past motives and behavior. He knows that his will is finally entirely absorbed in God.
[Tests of Discernment of Leadings/ Testifying to the Truth of a Leading]—“Be like Woolman” may not be helpful advice to those of us still struggling to be ourselves with integrity. Perhaps “be like members of Woolman’s meeting”; help each other to be faithful to leadings. Tests of discernment must be applied with discernment. We are more likely than our predecessors to recognize that the group as well as the individual stands under scrutiny. An individual rightly led in a stagnant meeting may still wait for clearness to proceed in order to keep fellowship and help the group to grow.
[All manner of issues in the form of leadings are brought to the meeting by individuals]. We can no more prevent someone from doing as he or she feels led than the 1st generation of Friends could. We can only decide to keep or break fellowship, expressing unity with a Friend, express lack of clearness, or repudiating his or her action. Is this the right action, for this time and place? Is this person rightly prepared to undertake the action? Together these questions point to self-consistency, moral purity and patience of the individual.
Whatever Friends did as a specific testimony took its primary validity from its function of turning people to the Inward Teacher. To be led to the Inward Teacher is to find fellowship with others and calling for oneself. The community of finders, those who are led by the Inward Teacher, is also led to create instruments and institutions which facilitate the following of the truth. Human beings, by their nature, must create social means to express the truth. To create the conditions of social justice, we must create new economic and social patterns, not no patterns. [Establishing something like a school] means substantiating the original inspiration through sustained study of education itself and continual return to the spring of inspiration, the Inward Teacher.
[Concern & Testimonies]—Quaker testimonies which arise from the Light of Christ’s nature are: Community, Harmony, Equality, Simplicity. Tensions invariably exist between waiting for a process to clarify itself & acting in time to be effective. Tensions also arise between competing claims of different testimonies. What are simplicity testimony’s appropriate expressions today? We know testimonies have bearing on these problems; there’s no automatically correct way to apply them. The leadings which come must be appropriate to our skill & knowledge, our strengths & our sense of integrity. [I have opportunity to be faithful to my leadings in my voting].
How can we be led when testimonies seem to be in tension? For some the abortion issue revolves around the right of human beings to make choices about their bodies. They see an oppressive patriarchal system and laws. Support of women’s free choice is consonant with the testimonies for equality, social justice and peace. For others the abortion question revolves around the sacredness of all human life. The fetus is the most defenseless of humans; ending it is murder. The testimonies of social justice and peace are also at issue; the sacredness of God-given life is paramount. How can a pacifist condone the taking of life in an abortion?
Each side accuses the other of inconsistency & moral blindness. “Right to Life” & “Freedom of Choice” become mindless slogans & war cries. How can we be open to a leading on abortion? We might try to imagine the suffering of women who [wish they had, or wish they hadn’t had an abortion]. We might try to imagine the pain of death for small sparks of life, the fetuses. We might try to put ourselves in our adversaries’ situations, asking what we can learn from their sincerity & insight, & live for a time with the pain of indecision, the turmoil of taking seriously every conviction sincerely held, & admitting the inadequacy of each. If we start with conviction we are gathered to be led by Inward Teachers & that our actions must follow from this, the actions we are led to will be better-rooted, more deeply considered, more tender in their understanding, & possibly more significant.
[Testifying for Justice: Then & Now]—Only with the benefit of hindsight can we say that leadings [of Friends in generations past] were clear. For most of us the leadings we have had are unlikely to have some miraculous opening. Our ways to meet the needs for social, political, & economic justice must be different, in an age of industrialization, & [complex global issues]. I dimly discern some ways I can order & focus my life in relation to such issues, but often I do not see a single clear leading for myself. The appropriate testimonies will have to come out of testing: individual against community; present against past; our faith community against others.
George Fox wrote: “[there is] a sitting of the justices about hiring of servants; and it was upon me from the Lord to go and speak to the justices that they should not oppress the servants in their wages.” He missed his 1st opportunity to speak to them, “and I was struck even blind that I could not see.” He found they were meeting at a town 8 miles away, and “my sight began to come to me again, and I went and ran thitherward as fast as I could.” Fox delays in acting until it appears too late. He loses his sight, until it appears he has not lost all chance to be obedient to his leading. Most significant of all, his sight comes back as he runs. Even when we are obedient, we will not always know where we are to go or how far. Our sight will come to us as we go. The consequences will be out of our hands, but we will know that we did what we were called to do—to follow our lead.
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448.The Inner Guide vs. the Inner Critic: Journey from Judgment to Love (by Christine Wolff; 2017)
About the Author—Christine Wolff is a member of Framingham MM in MA. She has been involved with Friends for about 40 years, beginning with an American Friends Service Committee work project. She has been a psychologist during that time, and is a student of the Diamond Approach, a merging of psychology and spirituality. She has studied Buddhist meditation and other schools of psychology.
[Introduction]—The Guide says, "Be my voice in the world—stand up & speak." The Critic says, Sit down. No one wants to hear what you think." The critic may come up with a paranoid scenario of consequences that will befall me if I speak. How do we find courage to step out of consensual reality in order to follow an unseen inner guide? I have become aware of the critic's role in the spiritual journey through the Diamond Approach. The critic was often in conflict & confused with the Inner Guide, which helps discern right action. This pamphlet integrates Quaker, psychotherapy, & Diamond Approach thought, & includes personal experiences & suggested exercises. Psychology can add to our ability as humans to embody spirituality in our daily lives.
It came to me that our personalities are like boxes surrounding us, blocking access to Divine Love and Light. The spiritual journey shows more openings in the boxes until they become very porous, allowing more light and access to that loving presence. The inner critic seeks a solid box for what it thinks of as safety.
What is the Inner Critic?—I see the inner critic as a part of self that assumes it is an authority on right & wrong; it is judge. It points out mistakes, & makes you feel like a bad person. [e.g.] Don't ask such stupid questions; You haven't accomplished anything. The critic thinks like the child we were when it originated. If we aren't wonderful we are terrible. It compares us to everyone else. It is our inner child's inflexible version of our parent's standards. Everyone has one. It is a question of how much influence it has. My critic took part in this writing process. A still, small, voice keeps nagging me to finish. Is it the critic or the Inner Guide? How do I tell?
The voice of the critic is sometimes quiet or we are only partially conscious of it. The critic keeps us feeling small, isolated, and unworthy, lacking in faith. It is difficult to sort out the difference between our critical projections onto others and reality, because we tend to believe what our minds tell us. Many of us grew up feeling that love depended on being whatever our parents valued most. We may have been disciplined in unhealthy ways. Being disciplined with guilt gives one an especially strong critic.
Exercise I—Notice what thoughts you have when you make a mistake. What thoughts come up about your appearance? Notice comparisons with other people. What are things you feel you need the critic for?
The Development of Critic, Conscience, & Guide—Robert Barclay writes about my sense of how critic ("judgment"), conscience, & Inner Guide interrelate: "Conscience follows judgment, doth not inform it. Light as it is received, removes blindness of judgment ... To Christ's Light then in the conscience, & not to man's natural conscience, it is that we commend to men." The Critic, conscience, & Guide all influence how we live our lives. spiritual maturity means we follow the Guide more than we follow the critic. The critic has a long, intimate relationship to the spiritual journey. When we are children, the young critic inside us thinks it is helping make us a better person: "When necessary, I will blame myself & hold onto the feeling that my parents are good."
The normal conscience is more complex than the critic and can understand shades of gray; the critic is a hyperactive, rudimentary conscience stuck in childhood. Our critic tends to hold us to impossible standards and makes us feel guilty and responsible for things that are not really harmful to others or over which we have little or no control. I suggest learning to disregard the critic, but not the other useful forms of discernment.
Differentiating Guidance from Conscience—Someone's conscience could be bothered by prison conditions, but the Guide's more immediate, intuitive, often visceral sense draws one's attention to it suddenly in a very different way, which makes one feel led to do something about it. "In whosoever [Divine experience] takes root and grows, of what nation soever, they become brethren in the best sense of expression" (George Fox). Very small children can have experiences of Divine Presence and the Inner Guide.
How I experience guidance from the Divine is that: "It just shows up, and it is most likely to do that if I have asked for help. My heart responds in a particular way to truth. There's a sense of flow, of things showing up one after the other, not too far in advance. It doesn't require much effort—in fact effort seems to get in the way. "Ordinary events" seem to take on a sense of being guided, as meaningful to my learning."
Stages of the Spiritual Journey and the Critic—Early on in the journey, we are having experiences of Divine Presence mixed with ordinary experience, and we still live mainly in our personality. Despite our critic's telling us "it isn't nice," we need to feel our anger (which fuels our energy and strength) and use our will to keep it from controlling us. Arguing with our critic is futile and keeps us in the child's position.
I woke up feeling stuck, hopeless, and despairing of ever communicating my message so that it would be understood; the critic was paralyzing me. It occurred to me that I conceded to my husband's need for the newer computer, that his work for his job was more important than my work of the spirit (the critic was at work subtly judging me). This made me angry, which transformed into energy and determination to get right back to work.
When we are grounded in Divine Presence, the critic has less influence. We become more & more able to sift out information that might be useful feedback from the self-judgment. The critic is quite adept at adopting, disguising & showing up in new subtle forms, just when we think we have it in its place. As we get more acquainted with this familiar part of ourselves, we can have more freedom to be our true selves. The critic disappears for longer & longer periods of time. As boundaries dissolve, everything is seen as love, including the critic.
This loving heart is who I am; nothing else is needed. I feel present [in the moment] for each client & am able to see them clearly & hold them properly. I am giving out of abundance versus out of "shoulds" or duty.
The Critic and Living Life as a Quaker—The critic's original job was to protect us from the disapproval of external authorities. It also protects us from our painful feelings. A spiritual path involves feeling these things as part of the truth of our experience. When you tell yourself not to feel something that is the truth of your experience, your inner critic is taking hold. The original feeling is just a feeling that would normally pass away in time if felt. Our inner child needs to be loved and accepted just the way it is, with all its feelings.
For an adult, there is a crucial difference between feeling an emotion and acting it out. Disallowing our feelings makes us angry because we feel unseen and that our experience is not valid. Rushing to forgiveness before acknowledging our true feelings is also a problem. Neither avoiding them or indulging them is helpful; we can try to accept them with compassion. In the Diamond Approach, fully feeling and working through blocked emotions allows us to experience certain spiritual qualities.
Good people with harsh critics often wrestle with feeling selfish, which leads them to overextend and neglect their own needs. The more compassionate we can be to ourselves, the more fully we can love and appreciate the wholeness of others. When under the influence of the judge, we are unable to allow ourselves to take in God's unconditional love and to see ourselves as inseparable from that love.
The Development of Critic, Conscience, & Guide—Robert Barclay writes about my sense of how critic ("judgment"), conscience, & Inner Guide interrelate: "Conscience follows judgment, doth not inform it. Light as it is received, removes blindness of judgment ... To Christ's Light then in the conscience, & not to man's natural conscience, it is that we commend to men." The Critic, conscience, & Guide all influence how we live our lives. spiritual maturity means we follow the Guide more than we follow the critic. The critic has a long, intimate relationship to the spiritual journey. When we are children, the young critic inside us thinks it is helping make us a better person: "When necessary, I will blame myself & hold onto the feeling that my parents are good."
The normal conscience is more complex than the critic and can understand shades of gray; the critic is a hyperactive, rudimentary conscience stuck in childhood. Our critic tends to hold us to impossible standards and makes us feel guilty and responsible for things that are not really harmful to others or over which we have little or no control. I suggest learning to disregard the critic, but not the other useful forms of discernment.
Differentiating Guidance from Conscience—Someone's conscience could be bothered by prison conditions, but the Guide's more immediate, intuitive, often visceral sense draws one's attention to it suddenly in a very different way, which makes one feel led to do something about it. "In whosoever [Divine experience] takes root and grows, of what nation soever, they become brethren in the best sense of expression" (George Fox). Very small children can have experiences of Divine Presence and the Inner Guide.
How I experience guidance from the Divine is that: "It just shows up, and it is most likely to do that if I have asked for help. My heart responds in a particular way to truth. There's a sense of flow, of things showing up one after the other, not too far in advance. It doesn't require much effort—in fact effort seems to get in the way. "Ordinary events" seem to take on a sense of being guided, as meaningful to my learning."
Stages of the Spiritual Journey and the Critic—Early on in the journey, we are having experiences of Divine Presence mixed with ordinary experience, and we still live mainly in our personality. Despite our critic's telling us "it isn't nice," we need to feel our anger (which fuels our energy and strength) and use our will to keep it from controlling us. Arguing with our critic is futile and keeps us in the child's position.
I woke up feeling stuck, hopeless, and despairing of ever communicating my message so that it would be understood; the critic was paralyzing me. It occurred to me that I conceded to my husband's need for the newer computer, that his work for his job was more important than my work of the spirit (the critic was at work subtly judging me). This made me angry, which transformed into energy and determination to get right back to work.
When we are grounded in Divine Presence, the critic has less influence. We become more & more able to sift out information that might be useful feedback from the self-judgment. The critic is quite adept at adopting, disguising & showing up in new subtle forms, just when we think we have it in its place. As we get more acquainted with this familiar part of ourselves, we can have more freedom to be our true selves. The critic disappears for longer & longer periods of time. As boundaries dissolve, everything is seen as love, including the critic.
This loving heart is who I am; nothing else is needed. I feel present [in the moment] for each client & am able to see them clearly & hold them properly. I am giving out of abundance versus out of "shoulds" or duty.
The Critic and Living Life as a Quaker—The critic's original job was to protect us from the disapproval of external authorities. It also protects us from our painful feelings. A spiritual path involves feeling these things as part of the truth of our experience. When you tell yourself not to feel something that is the truth of your experience, your inner critic is taking hold. The original feeling is just a feeling that would normally pass away in time if felt. Our inner child needs to be loved and accepted just the way it is, with all its feelings.
For an adult, there is a crucial difference between feeling an emotion and acting it out. Disallowing our feelings makes us angry because we feel unseen and that our experience is not valid. Rushing to forgiveness before acknowledging our true feelings is also a problem. Neither avoiding them or indulging them is helpful; we can try to accept them with compassion. In the Diamond Approach, fully feeling and working through blocked emotions allows us to experience certain spiritual qualities.
Good people with harsh critics often wrestle with feeling selfish, which leads them to overextend and neglect their own needs. The more compassionate we can be to ourselves, the more fully we can love and appreciate the wholeness of others. When under the influence of the judge, we are unable to allow ourselves to take in God's unconditional love and to see ourselves as inseparable from that love.
Exercise II—Choose an issue you are upset about; name the feeling & where it is in your body. Consciously allow the feeling to have all the space it wants in your body. Allow it to expand outward into the universe.
Interpersonal Conflicts/ Being the Judge —We have a defense mechanism known as projection. To make ourselves feel better, we take negative thoughts we have about ourselves & attribute them to someone we are relating to. [I may forget to do something for my husband.] If I defend myself successfully against the accusations of my judge, I can admit my mistake & move on without feeling guilty or seeing it as a character flaw. When we can own our self-judgment, we can hear what the other person has to say and be more accepting of who they are.
The inner critic also can help us judge others. It is much easier to judge than it is to understand another's point of view if it differs from ours. Not being judge drops us into an uncomfortable place of uncertainty, waiting for guidance, and openness to being led. [Instead of the Quaker judge in us working hard to make meeting for worship perfect,] we reached unity on holding the speaker in the Light, embracing ones fallible humanness, and opening to what the message is for us. True guidance is perfectly attuned to the present moment. Use of the word should can be an indicator that the judge is talking. The judge takes us out of our hearts, where truth resides, and into our minds. If we can sense into the deeper level of the Divine Presence within, we relax into what is, a perfection that includes all imperfection in its loving embrace. It is a place of peace, but also of power.
Following Leadings: Faithfulness vs. Fear, Doubt, and Insecurity—The critic shows up in many ways during the processes of discerning a leading and attempting to follow it. [Our critic is following our parents' value system and is not] open to the aliveness of the Divine Presence in our current life. Sometimes the judge keeps us from putting forth leadings even to just be tested. There may be no external validation, though we may receive intuitive signs that help us discern our true path. Since it's the job of the inner critic to keep us firmly anchored in the conventional reality we learned as children, the critic is threatened by the mere idea of behaving in ways that are disapproved of or incomprehensible to others.
The critic's impact is feeling bad, guilty, ashamed, worthless, doubting. The Divine Guide is always loving, and its impact is positive and supportive. When we begin a leading, the critic may be screaming dire warnings of horrible consequences. The critic's child-perception may make us as adults feel guilty when we can't solve someone else's problems. It can bring up deep fears of loss and abandonment. Experiences of spiritual opening threaten the critic—the critic responds with threats and doubts. I ask for help with the fear. Tears come, and compassion. My individual boundaries dissolve, and a fullness of Presence spreads through my chest.
Personally, if I'm not afraid, it's probably not a leading. I must overcome the fear in order to go through with the task. In the process I grow more & more aware of being part of & supported by the Divine & less alone. Paula Palmer writes: "In my experience, a leading is a persistent desire to do something that may not make much sense. It is beyond reason & easily misunderstood. It keeps asking for your attention. Your fear doesn't go away, your confusion doesn't go away, you're not suddenly happy all the time. But you feel relief and comfort." I have learned to expect a visit from the critic whenever I experience a time of spiritual expansion or begin to feel a leading. Recognizing the pattern of our own critic diminishes its power and frees up energy for our leadings.
Its hard to grasp that most doubts are old information and don't really reflect any current reality. They are from the past, whereas Divine Inspiration is here and Now. When I feel a sense of doubt and inadequacy about my writing, I remember having this same feeling often when trying to please my mother; I never could please her. I release the sadness for the burdened child part of me and come more into the here and now. I see that I have unconsciously had 2 agendas: pleasing my mother (publication committee); following the Divine Guide.
Spiritual growth takes us away from our psychological home, where we are the children of our parents. In shifting [to Divine Love], we leave behind our childhood supports and reference points, and become true adults. If I just experienced Divine Love and am now picking fights with people, is the Divine Love experience real? Quaker clearness and support committees provide social support for the tender new awareness, and counter the fear of aloneness on the spiritual journey. The judge may set up an ideal [spiritual] self for us to look like. We would then be striving to be an ideal and not someone real. In these ["ideal"] situations, it is important to not "outrun the Guide," but rather to stay grounded in discerning only our next step.
Exercise III—The next time you have a Divine Presence experience, pay attention to your thoughts right afterwards and for several days. If doubts about its validity arise, why are there doubts about my Divine Presence experience's validity? What values of my parents might I be challenging?
Life without the Critic—Sensing the Divine Guide requires developing the ability to be comfortable not knowing what comes next; it is the opposite of the judge's focus. It is learning to sense what truth feels like in our bodies. Byron Brown writes: "Truth is your ultimate ally in confronting the judge ... the judge itself is nothing but a misunderstanding of what is real. The moment you see your own truth, the judge disappears." The critic's absence can lead to a sense of emptiness most of us would spend our whole lives avoiding. We need to expect and welcome these experiences of emptiness because they lead to experiences of presence. It feels like a giant hole in my mid-section. As I relax into it, there is a sense of peacefulness and calm, of being with no sense of being a self. The critic and judgment melt away in the Presence of Love; they can't coexist with Love.
Is this the critic or the Guide speaking to me? This question does not always have right or wrong answers. As the critic loses its power and falls away, the personality box within which we live has more openings and may even fall away. Being becomes our identity and True Self. We are portals through which the Light of God can shine, bodies through which the functioning of God can flow. Doing emerges not from the critic, but as an upwelling of Divine Will pressing to be made manifest in this world.
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443. Individual Spiritual Discernment: Receiving, Testing, and Implementing Leadings from a Higher Power (by Jerry Knutson; 2017)
About the Author—Jerry Knutson received a bachelor's degree (1974), & a master's in Environmental Engineering (1976). He began Quaker worship in the mid-1980's, & attended Pendle Hill 2002-03, studying spiritual discernment. From 2005-14; he worked on discernment under Pittsburgh Meeting's care. His ongoing ministry in spirituality, discernment, Quakerism, prisoner visitation & support, has been under Orlando Meeting's care since 2017. He splits membership & time between Orlando & the Monongalia Meeting in Morgantown, WV.
Failure's only a problem if success is the goal ... the goal is witnessing to the love and truth of God and God's living spirit as it works through us." Father Gerry Reynolds
What is Discernment?—I've studied it since 1999. I've taken 6 long courses & 12 short courses on it, read over 50 books, & written 2 dissertations. I've presented 2 weeklong courses, & facilitated 25 shorter discernment workshops. Here's some of what I've learned about daily personal discernment in a practical how-to guide.
Discernment implies that guidance is always there waiting. Early Quakers called comprehending guidance as "[waiting & seeking for a way] to open." The guidance already exists, hidden behind a curtain. Some believe discernment is a skill & want a formula for discernment. Conceptual thinking can be part of discernment, but discernment includes other ways that defy logic & common sense. [When does something defying logic truly lack value, spiritual or otherwise; when is it illogical but still has spiritual value]? Some see it as a gift we get better at with practice; discernment is skill & gift. What is this ever-present guidance's source? Discernment is the human practice of opening to Agape's [God's] guidance. The Greek word agape is an aspect of love, namely unconditional love, or "spontaneous self-giving love expressed freely without calculation."
When is Discernment Used/ Why Use Discernment?/ How is Guidance Received?—If I use discernment for little things, I'll have practiced for making life-changing decisions; I have my mind attuned to Agape at all times. I once put on a sweatshirt without understanding why; I late felt an illness coming on, and I believe the sweatshirt kept me warm and prevented the illness.
Guidance found by discernment comes from Agape & uses not only mind but also other parts of my self, & includes consequences to others. I once drove an hour to a local meeting, & found myself locked out. I didn't wait for members to show up, & my anger took over while I drove the hour-long route home, [I hung onto my anger for 2 days; more about that later. [Saul's discernment of a need for a radical change in faith] was spectacular; Saul was persecuting & killing early Christians. He was very far from Agape, so Agape had to get his attention. Elijah was close to God. All his discernment, his guidance from Agape, was a still, small voice. Leadings by Agape are gentle, tender & optional. My theory is that Agape's voice decibel level is directly proportional to my distance from Agape, or to the concern's urgency; guidance can come as images, feelings, events, or songs.
Receiving Unsolicited Guidance/ ... in Meeting for Worship—Agape often speaks without being asked. It most commonly shares illogical things persistently, & leads in surprising directions; to me such thoughts are anomalies. Logical thoughts need to be persistent & surprising to discern the source. Spiritual Healing Group skipped a meeting because I was the only one coming. On meeting day I got persistent, surprising guidance to go. A woman in great pain was there. She said: "I didn't know about your group. I told the driver to stop as we went past here." Had I chose not to go. I wouldn't have known I was needed & that I received "true" guidance.
I had an urge to follow a woman with chemical sensitivities who left meeting early; I was needed to sit with her. My subconscious mind knew I was needed, but my conscious mind didn't know until she verified it. Peggy Senger writes: "When I am receptive, messages arrive. It is essential that I recognize and accept the messages. I need to discern where the message comes from. I weed out or divert to the right time and place, those ideas that are simply mine ... Divine messages have a feel and a smell to me and it is unmistakable ... It is easy to hear the message and be distracted to the point of having it slip by, not caught, not treasured, not attended to."
At Pendle in 2002, I began to "quake" when I was prompted to give vocal ministry. My "quaking" was a gentle buzzing in my heart, a new sensation for me. I tested the ministry & found it's source wasn't me. I let the quaking build. When I stood, the quaking stopped. I became calm, & I felt a great peace as I gave the vocal ministry; no one experiences quaking the same way. I felt subtle quaking 2 weeks later, but the quaking didn't rise to a level that compelled me to stand & speak. My certainty about my ministry and its timing came to a head during one of the last announcements. I knew this was the time for my vocal ministry and I rose and gave it. Ministry from Agape coming from other vocal messages can be discerned by the Agape within me resonating with the Agape within the vocal minister. Some messages are neither clearly Spirit-led or clearly inappropriate; I can't discern their source and shouldn't try. I should discern if there is a kernal of truth in the message for me to hear
Receiving Solicited Guidance: Simplified Method—Some people use Tarot, the I Ching, runes, and random Bible-pointing after prayer in seeking guidance. These methods are searching for guidance from external sources. As Luke 17:21 says: "The kingdom of God is within you." How do I look for Agape within? I create a "yes," "no" question. I try to imagine future consequences and life after receiving a "yes" and then a "no" answer. I then center for 20 minutes. I gently ask the question and wait for a response. Sometimes I get responses involving light or darkness, heat or cold, consolation or desolation. One scenario may have more peace and joy associated with it. Sometimes an answer presents a third way. The most common response I receive is no response. I try to live my life slowly enough to move at the speed of receiving guidance; I try to just "be" and "do."
I wanted to go to China with some spiritual friends. I anticipated a "yes" to the question, "Should I go?" Instead, after meditation, I asked the question and got a loud "No." Since I was teaching discernment in meditation class, I decided that I needed to follow my own lessons and advice and not go. It turns out that the trip had gotten off its itinerary, and the group had to take a slow, miserable boat ride to get back on the itinerary. If I had gone, I would have wound up wallowing in my own misery.
Holistic Method—In this method, I relax my mind, & imagine a conference of various parts of my self, & images of others affected by the decision. I imagine I am the moderator & all images are sitting around the table. talking about the decision from their viewpoint. If I'm not being unbiased, I take that biased part & add it as another member at the table. I try to get them to agree to the decision; they don't all have an equal voice. Friends that locked me out of meeting stated that they were not very punctual.
I imagined my conference table. My mind said it was a waste of gas & money. My spirit said, "Forgive & forget." My emotions expressed anger. My body noted various discomforts manifesting anger. My shadow advised, "Forget about them." Most of me wanted to return, but a part wanted revenge. I named this part "spoiled little child," & gave it a place at the table. It thought of "teaching them a lesson" & "never returning." "Sanctimonious self" thought of "Quakers having more important things to do than show up on time. Finally, I was able to let Agape overrule these parts of my self. My "sensible side" spoke up and suggested going on a day when someone was showing up early for committee or singing.
This method brings to light all aspects of my self. I find it very helpful to know what is going on in all parts of my self and then try to reconcile these aspects. This method reveals seldom-utilized parts of my self. I recognize them more easily, and I don't have to push away or repress them. Instead, I "hold it in the Light" or let Agape work with it. I allow Light and love to work in and through aspects like "the spoiled child." I have found it useful to make up visual images for the various aspects of my self at the conference.
Testing the Guidance: Reliable Tests—The amount of testing should depend on how significantly the guidance will change your life. Each time you practice and test discernment you become more proficient and get a better process and result. In the Bible, God doesn't seem to mind being tested.
Discernment Test Queries—How does guidance feel right in your relation to Agape? How will I feel diminished if I don't follow this leading? How am I living up to my true, authentic self? How does it feel like a burden has been lifted after you follow a leading? How are your peaceful protests done in Agape rather than anger? How is guidance in accordance with the Golden Rule? How is guidance a fruit of the Spirit? How persistent is guidance? How does guidance feel in your body? How are you mostly helping or hurting others? How are you integrating mind, heart, spirit, & experience? How are you uniting or dividing people? How can you wait for clarity more patiently? What is the collective wisdom of your clearness committee?
By consulting Agape, you can sense if the guidance rings true to your understanding and relationship with Agape. The Golden Rule is a good measuring stick; it can yield opposite results and still be a reliable test, if those applying the Rule want a different, positive thing. Understanding the motivation behind the decisions is important, as decisions coming from anger, fear, frustration, guilt, jealousy, hatred, or selfishness are probably not from Agape. A nun left her convent, because she couldn't perform her duties in a spirit of joy.
Jonathan Dale writes: "[The guidance] was quietly there again and again and again ... It never let me go ... It wasn't a command. It was an inward conversation which always ended with my being shown how my life style was inconsistent with my professed beliefs. It was infinitely patient and quietly persuasive ... The Light spoke to me and nagged me lovingly into something which I knew in my hearts of hearts that I wanted to do, however long my resistance. The nagging needed to be accepted ... [for it] to work creatively in us." [Sometimes your body's reaction to a decision defies careful calculations and statistics; trust your body]. If a decision does not produce a win-win situation, it may not be spiritual guidance from Agape; you should wait.
The holistic, "inner conference" method can help with discernment and be used to test your guidance. Spiritual guidance should help to unite all people. Patience is very important in discerning how you are being guided and allows you to see if the leading is persistent. Urgency is a mark of the ego, not Agape. Pope Francis says: "I am always wary of decisions made hastily, and especially of the 1st thing that comes to my mind If I have to make a decision ... I have to look deep into my self, taking the necessary time. The wisdom of discernment redeems the necessary ambiguity of life and helps us find the most appropriate means, which do not always coincide with what looks great and strong." The clearness committee will carefully listen to how you perceive Agape is guiding you and the committee will help you become clear on the best course of action. The clearness committee is not an inquisition. The careful selection of members of the clearness committee ensures that a safe supportive, and open discussion occurs; The clearness process works best if at least one member is skeptical.
Ambiguous Tests—The following [queries] and tests can be used to verify guidance, but they should be used with other tests and with caution, because they often yield ambiguous results.
[Supplementary Test Queries]—How is the guidance your passion? How is the guidance a cross to the will? What do dreams have to say? How do external events confirm or deny discernment of your leading? How is guidance logical? How does guidance seem right to others? How is guidance ethical? How is what you decide to speak or do: kind; true; necessary? How does it improve silence?
I don't agree with "Follow your bliss"; passion can cloud judgment & lead to extreme acts. You may be led to do things that aren't your passion. Passion & Agape's will together has incredible power. A "cross to the will" was often experienced by traveling ministers, who gave up their home life. Early Quakers walked the streets naked, in part because they didn't want to. Quakers began to question the reliability of a cross to the will as a test & they came to understand that individual discernment must be under the yoke of corporate discernment.
Dreams are a way Agape speaks to people. However dreams can be misleading. A dream may not be God telling me of God's desires for me, but rather my subconscious' desires for my self & fulfilling them in dreams. When I interpret dreams, I look at the feelings in the dream and then look at when I have these feelings in my normal waking life. How literal I take a dream varies. Dreams may be actual experiences in the spiritual realm.
If what you are sensing is Agape's guidance, external events will often begin to occur that reassure you and help you. Just because something is against the flow and hard doesn't mean it isn't a leading; don't confuse difficulty with necessarily being on the wrong path. When faced with the urge to do more in a given situation, in spite of advice that it "wasn't necessary," in most cases trust the urge, especially when it involves apologizing.
I co-owned a building ½-way between Earlham School of Religion (Richmond, IN), & Pendle Hill. I wanted to create a Quaker contemplative center in that building, & the thought came it could be ½-way both geographically & theologically. I thought I should talk to an American Quaker organization's administrator. Just then, such a person walked into the room. This felt like a leading & then a coincidence occurred. The administrator didn't respond, & I realized there was no persistent guidance about the building; I sold the building for a profit. What 1st seemed to be a leading confirmed by coincidence, was shown by continuing revelation to be something else.
I sometimes use a "pros/ cons" list, & put a numerical value on each item. I get a total of each column, & make a decision based on logic & math. However, often guidance seems not to be logical or practical. I brought azaleas to Pittsburgh Friends Meeting for everyone to enjoy; somebody took them. Following a nudge to call my friend Eliza, I discovered that someone from the deceased's family took mine along with the funeral flowers.
Another test is seeking the input of others, [i.e.] friends, spouses, & children. Sometimes a spouse will con-firm one's leading before one has a chance to say anything about it. This test is ambiguous, for you often choose your friends because they think like you. [In the process of listening to them, you may miss the prevailing mood of those outside your immediate circle]. If the leading is unethical, & doesn't position me to look like a good person, then it probably isn't from the Spirit; ethics can give guidance that additional discernment is needed. "Before you speak, ask your self: Is it kind, is it true, is it necessary, Does it improve upon the Silence?" Sai Baba.
Implementing the Guidance: Taking Baby Steps; Receiving Continuing Revelation; Outrunning the Guide; Taking a Zigzag Course; Accepting the Learning Process—Even in uncertainty, I can usually take small, simple reversible steps. Choosing a school can begin with visiting the campus, a clearness committee, and starting the application process. Quakers are open to "continuing revelation" and suspicious of certainty. The guidance is rarely final & more guidance will probably come as it finds a receptive listener. The mystical dimension of discernment is open-ended thinking. Resist the tendency to go further than your guidance, [e.g. by following a "logical course" beyond what your guidance has laid out for you. Sometimes following the path of discernment is like a sailboat tacking into the wind, zigzagging, but going generally in the same direction, or like a labyrinth, with frequent reversals of direction. Agape is looking for co-creators, not puppets. Mother Teresa said: "God calls us to be faithful, not necessarily to be successful."
Spiritual Disciplines/ Simplifying the Process—If we want a relationship with Agape, we need to spend time with Agape. Spiritual disciplines lead deeper into spiritual life & are necessary to build a close relationship with Agape. Trying to discern Agape's will is most successful when built on prayer, meditation, gratitude, devotion & faithfulness. What is the best spiritual practice for you? I have found a synergistic effect by combining different spiritual practices: meditation; prayer; examen; forgiveness; to do list (including rewards); observing my self; devotional reading; serving others; seeing God in nature; spiritual friendship; gratitude prayers.
I make daily meditation a priority; morning meditation comes before coffee. On hectic days I really need relaxation, efficiency, & centeredness. I pray-type into my lap-top; it keeps my mind from wandering & gives a record of what I've said; I pray better & more often. For examen at day's end, focus on how Agape was working, when you were most grateful, & least grateful. Sometimes one day's desolation can turn into a consolation later. .
I had a dream that I introduced to a friend a man whom I deeply resented; when I awoke, I was happy that I was polite & showed no resentment. I remembered that resentment keeps the wrong person up at night & that forgiveness is a gift I give myself. Forgiveness starts with forgiving myself for all my errors; realizing my mistakes means making it easier to forgive others. I write a "to do list," including a reward item, and ask Agape for input. I often imagine observing myself from a distance. As we work to study and practice discernment, discernment becomes simpler. Discernment is not effort, but surrender, awareness, and openness. When we are acting in love, of the Spirit, of Agape, of others, of ourselves, the decisions may not be as important.
Queries—Why is individual spiritual discernment important? How is discernment both a skill and a gift? What is the source of discernment? Why is corporate discernment important? How do I discern the way forward in my own life?
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305. Spiritual Discernment: The Context and Goal of Clearness Committee (by Patricia Loring; 1992)
About the Author—Patricia Loring has been released by Bethesda (MD) Friends Meeting for a ministry in nurture of the spiritual life, [i.e.] creating/leading adult religious education; spiritual development; retreat ministry; workshops; spiritual guidance; writing. She spent 5 terms at Pendle Hill & completed long-term programs in Spiritual Guidance & Group Leadership at Shalem Institute in Washington, D. C.; this pamphlet grew out of those programs. She was told to write something on the clearness process as spiritual discernment herself.
Divine Guidance & Spiritual Discernment—Spiritual discernment lies at the heart of Quaker spirituality & practice. Discernment is the faculty we use to distinguish the Spirit's true movement to speak in meeting from the wholly human urge to share. Discernment is a gift from God, not a personal achievement. We all have some measure of this gift. As we grow and are faithful in the spiritual life we may well be given more. The development of discernment is one dimension of a lifelong, ongoing conversation with God, in which we learn to listen to a profound and subtle language and “let our lives speak.” As we grow in our willingness and God-given capacity to carry out the will of God or to live in tune with God’s will, we grow towards living a discerned life.
Many early Quakers did not distinguish [clearly] between a motion of the Spirit & the most pressing or plausible impulse within themselves. Cruel punishments inflicted on James Nayler for his ride into Bristol—& the persecution that came upon Friends—gave the greatest impetus to Friends to [discerning if the source of leadings was divine or human need]. It was no longer an individual issue when the community suffered for the excesses.
Discernment: Tests of Leadings—[The “guidelines” Quakers developed] for discerning leadings remained rough, experiential, & uncodified. As a result, there are no handy lists of discernment tests in early Friends’ writings of. The earliest group of signs Friends had as they were testing their leadings is the “fruits of the Spirits” [Galatians 5:23, namely] “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness & self-control” [They were assumed present in a life truly lived in the Spirit]. Some of the fruits indicated what has been called the moral purity of an action [i.e. freedom from self-willed, self-serving or self-centered motivations]. Promptings truly of divine origin are more likely to persist over time, despite outward checks.
Obviously self-control is a closely related indicator of moral purity. Early Friends [also talked of the “the cross.” [some were led to the conviction that the more humiliating to the individual were consequences, the more likely it was to be a true leading. Another rough grouping of fruits of the Spirit illuminates the quality of a leading by its results in community life. To experience unity in God’s love bears fruit in love of neighbor. The fruits of the Spirit, kindness and gentleness, are dimensions of the first fruit love.
The experience of being united in Truth produces the expectation [of consistency between the] perceptions of persons attuned to divine guidance. Early on, quite discerning people submitted leadings to others whose capacity for discernment they respected. In discerning a formal leading in ministry to the body of Friends, it became customary to bring it into corporate discernment process of the meeting for business. What is sought is a sense of deep, interior unity which is a sign members are consciously gathered together in God & may therefore trust their corporate guidance. Friends have so valued the fruit of group discernment that they have been willing to labor hard & to wait long to come into unity with one another before proceeding in a matter of substance.
Friends utilize the Bible, writings of spiritual leaders or saintly people from Quaker & other traditions. They work with passages they feel are in the spirit of the essence of the work rather than with exceptional passages. Peace has been regarded both as a fruit of the Spirit & as a sign of authenticity. Quaker experience has been that living close to the Spirit has the effect of harmonizing & reconciling both within & between persons. A new task disturbs a person’s peace; faithfully discharging the task leads to restoration of inner peace. The word “clear” is today more apt to be used in the shape of a leading than in discerning when a leading has been fulfilled.
Being Led as Response to Outer Needs—Sometimes something happens in the wider community or world disturbs a person’s peace, and some action will be required to restore it. The wait and solution may be short and simple, or prolonged [and long-term]. For the person whose mystical sense of unity has extended to the whole of creation the agony of being in the world and at odds with its values and actions may be acute. It requires [real] discernment to discover whether the ministry called for requires prophetic speech, humble and hidden activities, bold and dramatic action, or other novel and previously unimagined course.
We are responsible for faithfully discerning and performing our own part in the process, leaving the outcome to God. The more deeply we come under guidance ourselves, & stay faithful [to all direction, the less] time, energy, & attention [we have] for trying to bring & keep others up to our mark. Peace which is neither apathy nor avoidance has also been a sign for Friends that they are in compliance with God’s will for them. There are no rules in this matter of leadings and discernment. Leadings come from the mysterious depths of God.
Being Led as Growing into our True Selves—Divine guidance doesn’t always beckon in outward events or situations. Some of our leadings are promptings by inward impulses to growth or change, [when a logical course becomes barren or shuts down completely]. To review lives in light of Eternity fosters respect for unpredictable timing, interconnections, & [consequences] of events, for manifold variations in human lives. Each of us is a unique part of the universe's unfolding, with unique constellations of gifts, to be exercised in God’s service.
We may be led to areas of weakness or disability to teach us humility. Most of the time we are led to function in the area of our gifts; indeed, we’re responsible for doing so. Identification of spiritual gifts doesn’t begin with system, but with the vision of unique giftedness in each person in service of a harmonious spiritual community. The development of the individual’s gifts is for the spiritual community’s sake & God’s purposes; [that is often not the same as] the prevailing system, [& in fact at times critiques prevailing systems [& their faithfulness to divine unfolding]. In addition, there is no one identity or leading which defines a person for a lifetime.
Unprogrammed Quakerism’s vision has been one of slow and steady change, [consistent faithfulness and character]; early Friends called this “perfection.” Their writings [indicate] deep willingness to change and be changed, willingness to see and do and become whatever was required of them in love and confidence in God. [Paul’s expectation of] “unveiled faces like mirrors reflecting the glory of the Lord” [is meant] not just for a few, but of all of us as we enter more intimately into relationship with God.
Thomas Merton writes of false and true selves. To the extent that the self is founded on or constructed of the labels, expectations, or directives of other people, Merton calls it a false self. And to the extent that the self is conceptualized rather than being made up of the activity of the undistorted upwelling of Life in the individual it is false. The “perfection” of early Friends may be seen as a movement from false self to true self. At the entry of the pure breath of Life into us, at its taking shape in us and our response, we find our most authentic self. The effort to come to the true self and to be led through it, is discernment at its most profound level.
The Role of the Community in Personal Discernment—Quaker tradition held expectations that God would raise up prophets from the community to speak to people for the community & the world's good. Individual & community were accountable to each other for the prophetic role. [The community would discern that a leading was “of God,” & minuted its discernment, committing the individual to carrying out the leading, & the community to support of the individual]. More recently, it has meant financial assistance for the period of the ministry.
We can cultivate an environment among us which will foster one another’s spiritual growth by directing & re-directing intention & attention to God. The responsibility for spiritual nurture is shared by the members of the meeting, [some having a greater gift for it than others]. The gift of vocal ministry was to bring the community beyond outward preaching to the inward Teacher and Guide.
[The elder’s gift might be to discern whether vocal ministry’s source was from true self guided by experiencing the Truth] or from the false self’s need. The elder’s interior experience of God’s work in his own heart & life was integrated with sensitively observed experience of Quaker community life to shape his discernment & guidance of others’ spirits. The proportions of intuition & outward evidences in discernment varied depending on individual elder. In the 19th century, the proportion shifted heavily in the direction of outward evidences, [taking the form of discernment by outward rules of dress & marrying within the community]. This sad perversion of discernment by a people who professed to be guided by the spirit of God was a major factor in the near-demise of unprogrammed Friends. [The gift of eldership still exists although most meetings abolished the office]. Unofficial elders are hampered by lack of recognition, cooperation, & nurture of their own growth by their meetings.
The Evolution of the Clearness Committee in the 20th Century—In the early part of the 20th century, there seems to have been mainly relief at the removal of the eldership authority. Young Friends became a creative force in the Society. Maintaining the Peace Testimony and initiating healing of the century old division and wounds within Friends [became priorities]. Young Friends began the current adaptation of clearness committees to discerning leadings and other questions of spiritual import in individual’s lives.
The purpose [of early clearness committees] was [more clearance than clearness], to go into outward aspects of the business or problem at hand, to determine relevant & legitimate questions which might be raised in reference to it & to find information needed for deliberation; actual discernment was left for the meeting for business. Another use of clearness committees among Friends has been in requests for membership, again more a process of clearance than clearness; the applicants sense of leading to join Friends is often regarded as sufficient.
In the 60s clearness committees began evolving into an instrument for matters too personal or not sufficiently seasoned to bring under the weight of the meeting for business. [The “new”] clearness committee seems to offer a way back into community support and guidance at critical times in people’s lives. [In the process of evolution, the term “focus person” developed] for the one whose questions or leadings are the focus of the group. There was no conscious effort to use the clearness process [specifically] for spiritual discernment.
We go to a clearness committee with heart and mind prepared, setting aside our own purposes, in holy expectancy of whatever new thing God is bringing about, as we wait, centered in silence, we trust we will be given the ears to hear what is significant and the words to evoke what is meant to come forth. Patricia Loring
The Clearness Committee as an Instrument for Discernment—Much of the clearness committee's vitality lies in its improvisational quality, which leaves both form & participants open to the promptings of the Spirit. A clearness committee should have members gifted with discernment developed in their personal relationship with God. They should be capable of restraining the very human impulse to give advice. Support is given to the Truth of the focus person’s leading by God and not to what could be a passing attachment or mistaken judgment. [It is best if] the committee members refrain from making statements or suggestions, but only questions.
The questions should, in Parker Palmer’s words be “authentic, challenging, open, loving questions so that the focus person can discover his or her own agenda … Caring, not paternalism or curiosity, is the rule for questioners. The clearness process is profoundly counter-cultural in assuming that the greatest help we give is to refrain from problem-solving, to create a situation in which a person may discern for herself what is needed. The focus person’s discernment process may not only be thwarted, but she will undoubtedly feel violated rather than assisted by the imposition of someone else’s sense of reality in place of encountering reality for herself.
It begins with a moment of silence in order to give over one’s own firm views, to place the outcome in the hands of God. [It continues with listening], with as much complete attentiveness as we can muster. Douglas Steere says, “To ‘listen’ another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another.” Many clearness committees find a natural rhythm which includes a good deal of silence. It is to allow the questions and the answers to sink into us in the silence which follows them, and to sink into them. Some time for reflecting back what was heard may be allowed. Sufficient time in silence at the end may allow a sense of what has emerged to begin to crystallize. A gift of tenderness and love is often a fruit of gathering together in intimacy and openness to wait upon God’s guidance.
Details of Preparation and Organization/In Conclusion—The focus person needs to be clear about what she needs to discern. She puts into a FEW pages of writing what is most important for her committee to know at the outset. Her committee’s preparation will be to read carefully, assimilate and hold [the focus person’s] background [material] in the Light. Who is to appoint the members of the committee? It should be someone who might be expected to have a developed sense of the gifts needed for the work and of potential committee members. [Not just anyone can be on the committee]; volunteers are discouraged, [as someone who really wants to help] might have neither the requisite listening ear nor the capacity to restrain themselves from imposing their solutions on the situation. It is helpful to have another member of the committee undertake responsibility for the convening the committee and for directing the flow of the process.
In era when the loss of community is being mourned, a clearness committee may be helpful in inviting greater involvement in one another’s lives. Within the committee, the focus person may choose to establish areas of her life which are not open to questions, or questions we may answer inwardly but gently decline to answer orally. Freedom to ask searching questions and to give honest intimate, or profound answers—or to decline to give answers—must be uninhibited by worry about where they will be repeated or how they will be interpreted.
Is any record of the proceedings to be kept? [If so, what, and how?] Should the entire matter be left as unrecorded as a meeting for worship, in confidence that the process will work in its own way and that what is forgotten is not required for the right discernment?
Insights often emerge [long after the session, when] the experience percolates through the consciousness, the unconsciousness and back again. Sometimes the result of the percolation is that a new layer of questions has emerged and needs to be addressed in another sessions. 2 hours generally seems to be the maximum time that people can function with alertness in this kind of intensely focused way.
The crucial element for the meeting for worship for the conduct of business, [and for the clearness committee] is the establishment of context of prayerful attentiveness for the entire meeting. Liberal amounts of silence between utterances permits them to be heard with all their resonances and taken below the surface mind. It can allow what does come forth to arise spontaneously from the Center. Preparations need to be made, and then let go of, the better to see what is in the present without preconception under the guidance of the Spirit.
We go to a clearness committee with heart and mind prepared, setting aside our own purposes, in holy expectancy of whatever new thing God is bringing about, as we wait, centered in silence, we trust we will be given the ears to hear what is significant and the words to evoke what is meant to come forth.
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446. Coming to Light: Cultivating Spiritual Discernment through the Quaker Clearness Committee (by Valerie Brown; 2017)
About the Author—Valerie is an international retreat leader, writer, leadership coach, and Principal of Lead in Smart Coaching, specializing in application and integration of mindfulness in daily life. She's written The Mindful School Leader: Practice to Transform Your Leadership and School. She has studied and practiced in the Plum Village tradition since 1995 and ordained in the Order of Interbeing by Thich Nhat Hanh in 2003. Valerie is a member of Solebury Monthly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends.
"I pin my hopes to quiet process & small circles, in which vital & transforming events take place. Rufus Jones
Introduction—Clearness committees aid in spiritual discernment. Pamphlets on discernment are: 305. Spiritual Discernment: Contexts & Goals of Clearness Committees (Patricia Loring; 1992) & 443. Individual Spiritual Discernment: Receiving, Testing, & Implementing Leadings from a Higher Power (Jerry Knutson; 2017). I wrote this pamphlet after seeing clearness committees' impact on non-Quakers in my retreats & workshops. It was 1st used in discernment of marriage & membership. Quakers affiliated with FGC, have been using clearness committees non-traditionally for personal discernment. I share personal experience of the clearness committee, brief history of it, my personal reflections, questions, insights on its appropriate use, & sample format of a clearness committee. There is an appendix of guidelines for open questions, touchstones, & queries. I use the word "God" for: Light or Seed Within; All Things; Energy of Compassion, Love, Understanding, & Peace.
Deepening Light: My Experience of Quaker Clearness Committees—I & my marriage partner participated in a clearness committee to discern our readiness for this step in our lives [in all its many dimensions]. 2 years later I was training in a 2-year facilitator program at the Center for Courage & Renewal in Seattle, WA with Parker Palmer. I was facing a crisis of vocation. I was moving slowly with many stops & starts, from a high pressure & unsustainable career as a lawyer-lobbyist for education and non-profits, to work that was unclear & undefined. Parker, 4 other facilitators-in-training, & I sat together in a candle-lit room for over 2 hours. We experienced: reverent silence; gently probing questions of the focus person; the group's rhythm; deepening of the focus person's experience; mirroring, affirming, celebrating; truthfulness & tenderness; a closing silence.
The Quaker clearness committee is a means of spiritual discernment, i.e. recognizing & understanding God's call in your life. Discernment is a pre-condition for faithful action. How is this of God, or not of God? Listen to that of God. Discernment is the practice of being attentive, being reflective, & being loving in order to determine what is truly from God, and what emerging patterns might bring you closer to God. Quaker faith and practice was founded on spiritual discernment and supports individual discernment with clearness committees.
George Fox believed in "standing still in the light," an invitation to become centered and grounded in the Light. The Light allows us to see our habits and shadows and causes us to examine how we are living. We begin to [lovingly] question consumption, time use, our reading, & relationships. Discernment arises from faithfulness, unfolding over time as you cultivate a spiritual landscape and relationship with God. You practice openness, attentiveness, forgiveness, and kindness inwardly and outwardly; it supports clarity and integrity of action.
... [Personal] Reflection: I held onto the fairy-tale beliefs of marriage: meet the right person; fall in love; marry & live happily ever after. Most of my day was work. I'd been running most of my life from home to college, to graduate school, to law school, to bar exams, to "dream" job, which was killing my soul and leaving me time-bankrupt. I was a closet meditator, to avoid losing credibility with my peers. I didn't know who I was, what I stood for, what was meaningful, how to share or love. I had to recognize this truth before I could change it.
Spiritual Discernment is grounded in the Quaker conviction of availability to every person of the experience and guidance of God, immediate as well as meditated. Patricia Loring
History of the Clearness Committee: an Overview—Early Friends emerged in the 1640's. They discerned through prayer, worship, & Scripture study, whether they had "clearness" in leadings or callings to faithful action. For contemporary Friends, clearness committees have developed so as to support Friends seeking clearness in discernment, offering a loving, supportive, & prayerful community in facing a challenge or decision. True communion with God & one another takes place at the center of our beings as we yield to the light. Early on, clearness committees determined that the couple had no other relationships in place. Now, it determines readiness to marry. In the mid-20th century, these committees shifted to an uncodified & flexible form that could be adapted to a variety of uses & settings. Through worship & open-ended questions, the focus person is assisted in discerning God's presence in the concern, clarifying next steps, or considering new and unexplored options. [It is not a place for giving advice], but for the focus person to find their own personal truth and best course of action. In the 1970's, Young Friends of North America linked with Members for a New Society, a network of social activists. Clearness Committees were used as a secular process of decision-making.
As it has evolved, the clearness committee offers "a [spiritual] way back into community support and guidance at critical times in peoples' lives. Discernment is not finished when we make a decision. There may be no clearcut answer at the clearness committee's end; there may be deeper questions, deeper searching [and re-searching] into where God is leading. It is a lifelong and daily practice to learn how to discern: How is an [inner experience a] leading, prompting, nudging from God or my own contributions of thought & imagination?
Quakers believe in communion with the Divine, the Light Within, & commit to living lives that outwardly attest to this inward experience. Light and Seed refer to the reality for Friends of God's presence within us for the healing and wholeness of all. The right conditions of "soil," "temperature," "light," and "water," nurture the seed's growth, [break through its hard shell and spurs growth] from the darkness of the soil into the light.
Discernment is a gift from God, not a personal achievement. Sometimes discernment may be a sense of realization without the need for any specific action. Your understanding or point of view may shift & that may be enough. A discipline of faithfulness frees us from deep attachment to our leadings' outcomes, which makes us less sensitive to guidance. Awareness of, & [not attachment to] our thoughts & feelings, desires, fears, responses to people, places, and events, are all occasion in which we create a unique relationship with Truth.
... [Personal] Reflection: I became a lawyer before I knew who I was. I was able to make great legislative achievements and help many people. There was a high price emotionally, relationally, spiritually and physically.[In the beginnings of my] shift in career, I flew into a rage [at the slightest provocation]. I sat down with my self to figure out what was happening to me. I realized I was moving into a vast uncharted and unknown territory of my soul and aligning my self to something deeper. I was learning to trust the Truth within me, and allowing my self to be an instrument of God. I was [no longer] following an outward trajectory or external signal, but instead an inward motion, an imperative I could hardly articulate or understand.
"Deep Calling Under Deep": Key Words of the Clearness Committee—The following words are particularly relevant for the clearness committee process. Waiting, as used by Friends is both "passive/ responsive & active/ responsive." Howard Thurman says that waiting isn't inactivity. He writes in poetry: Over & over questions beat in the waiting moment./ As we listen, floating up through all the jangling echoes of/ our turbulence, there is a sound of another kind—/ A deeper note which only the stillness of the heart makes clear." Watchfulness refers to an "inward attention on our condition, with sensitivity to the Spirit's little hints & motions.
Gathered is a term Friends use to describe being fully present [in community], truly listening while waiting, with expectation that God's presence can be discerned, & with the mind oriented to the Spirit's power. Friends expressed inward experience in terms of Feeling, "knowing without words, a pre-conscious realization." Feeling clear means one had a clear sense of needing to begin or end an action. Quakers believe God's guidance can be felt. There are no clear guidelines to knowing whether to trust feelings when seeking clarity. Daily spiritual practice, such as prayer, silence, stillness, rest, renewal, meditation, & body-centered practices like yoga or tai chi, can broaden & deepen self-awareness, which enables you to recognize your Inward Teacher's voice.
... [Personal] Reflection—In my clearness committee experience, I felt the truth of a living God's presence, the sense of expectant, active, watchful waiting, silence's power to illuminate the darkness. I understood the need to inwardly sense feelings, of separating the Inward Teacher's guidance from distractions & impulses.
Key Elements of the Clearness Committee—The key elements of clearness committees are: Every person has an Inner Teacher, an inner source of wisdom—There are no "external authorities on life's deepest issues, there is only the authority that lies within each of us, waiting to be heard." The Clearness Committee's function is remove the interference to hearing one's inner authority and deepest truth. There should be no sense of letdown if the problem isn't solved. A good clearness process does not end; it keeps working long after.
Double Confidentiality—Committee members will not speak with each other or the focus person about what happened.
Open honest, questions, not giving advice or attempts to fix things—Questions should be "authentic, challenging, open, loving questions so the focus person can discover their own agenda without imposition of anyone else's. They help move the focus person to new insights, new ways of thinking about a dilemma.
Guidelines for asking honest, open questions are: A honest, open question is one that doesn't assume knowledge of an answer. It is not based on assumptions that come from interpretations of what we see. It doesn't contain your own opinions or advice. Ask questions about the situation's inner realities as well as the outward facts. Ask questions aimed at helping the focus person explore their concern rather than satisfying your own curiosity. Trust your intuition and ask the "off the wall" questions if it is an honest, open question. Wait on the questions you're not sure about. Allow silence between questions. You can ask a follow-up, clarifying question. Don't ask a third question in-a-row. The best questions are simple & straightforward, but not yes-no or right-wrong answers.
Interpersonal Conflicts/ Being the Judge —We have a defense mechanism known as projection. To make ourselves feel better, we take negative thoughts we have about ourselves & attribute them to someone we are relating to. [I may forget to do something for my husband.] If I defend myself successfully against the accusations of my judge, I can admit my mistake & move on without feeling guilty or seeing it as a character flaw. When we can own our self-judgment, we can hear what the other person has to say and be more accepting of who they are.
The inner critic also can help us judge others. It is much easier to judge than it is to understand another's point of view if it differs from ours. Not being judge drops us into an uncomfortable place of uncertainty, waiting for guidance, and openness to being led. [Instead of the Quaker judge in us working hard to make meeting for worship perfect,] we reached unity on holding the speaker in the Light, embracing ones fallible humanness, and opening to what the message is for us. True guidance is perfectly attuned to the present moment. Use of the word should can be an indicator that the judge is talking. The judge takes us out of our hearts, where truth resides, and into our minds. If we can sense into the deeper level of the Divine Presence within, we relax into what is, a perfection that includes all imperfection in its loving embrace. It is a place of peace, but also of power.
Following Leadings: Faithfulness vs. Fear, Doubt, and Insecurity—The critic shows up in many ways during the processes of discerning a leading and attempting to follow it. [Our critic is following our parents' value system and is not] open to the aliveness of the Divine Presence in our current life. Sometimes the judge keeps us from putting forth leadings even to just be tested. There may be no external validation, though we may receive intuitive signs that help us discern our true path. Since it's the job of the inner critic to keep us firmly anchored in the conventional reality we learned as children, the critic is threatened by the mere idea of behaving in ways that are disapproved of or incomprehensible to others.
The critic's impact is feeling bad, guilty, ashamed, worthless, doubting. The Divine Guide is always loving, and its impact is positive and supportive. When we begin a leading, the critic may be screaming dire warnings of horrible consequences. The critic's child-perception may make us as adults feel guilty when we can't solve someone else's problems. It can bring up deep fears of loss and abandonment. Experiences of spiritual opening threaten the critic—the critic responds with threats and doubts. I ask for help with the fear. Tears come, and compassion. My individual boundaries dissolve, and a fullness of Presence spreads through my chest.
Personally, if I'm not afraid, it's probably not a leading. I must overcome the fear in order to go through with the task. In the process I grow more & more aware of being part of & supported by the Divine & less alone. Paula Palmer writes: "In my experience, a leading is a persistent desire to do something that may not make much sense. It is beyond reason & easily misunderstood. It keeps asking for your attention. Your fear doesn't go away, your confusion doesn't go away, you're not suddenly happy all the time. But you feel relief and comfort." I have learned to expect a visit from the critic whenever I experience a time of spiritual expansion or begin to feel a leading. Recognizing the pattern of our own critic diminishes its power and frees up energy for our leadings.
Its hard to grasp that most doubts are old information and don't really reflect any current reality. They are from the past, whereas Divine Inspiration is here and Now. When I feel a sense of doubt and inadequacy about my writing, I remember having this same feeling often when trying to please my mother; I never could please her. I release the sadness for the burdened child part of me and come more into the here and now. I see that I have unconsciously had 2 agendas: pleasing my mother (publication committee); following the Divine Guide.
Spiritual growth takes us away from our psychological home, where we are the children of our parents. In shifting [to Divine Love], we leave behind our childhood supports and reference points, and become true adults. If I just experienced Divine Love and am now picking fights with people, is the Divine Love experience real? Quaker clearness and support committees provide social support for the tender new awareness, and counter the fear of aloneness on the spiritual journey. The judge may set up an ideal [spiritual] self for us to look like. We would then be striving to be an ideal and not someone real. In these ["ideal"] situations, it is important to not "outrun the Guide," but rather to stay grounded in discerning only our next step.
Exercise III—The next time you have a Divine Presence experience, pay attention to your thoughts right afterwards and for several days. If doubts about its validity arise, why are there doubts about my Divine Presence experience's validity? What values of my parents might I be challenging?
Life without the Critic—Sensing the Divine Guide requires developing the ability to be comfortable not knowing what comes next; it is the opposite of the judge's focus. It is learning to sense what truth feels like in our bodies. Byron Brown writes: "Truth is your ultimate ally in confronting the judge ... the judge itself is nothing but a misunderstanding of what is real. The moment you see your own truth, the judge disappears." The critic's absence can lead to a sense of emptiness most of us would spend our whole lives avoiding. We need to expect and welcome these experiences of emptiness because they lead to experiences of presence. It feels like a giant hole in my mid-section. As I relax into it, there is a sense of peacefulness and calm, of being with no sense of being a self. The critic and judgment melt away in the Presence of Love; they can't coexist with Love.
Is this the critic or the Guide speaking to me? This question does not always have right or wrong answers. As the critic loses its power and falls away, the personality box within which we live has more openings and may even fall away. Being becomes our identity and True Self. We are portals through which the Light of God can shine, bodies through which the functioning of God can flow. Doing emerges not from the critic, but as an upwelling of Divine Will pressing to be made manifest in this world.
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443. Individual Spiritual Discernment: Receiving, Testing, and Implementing Leadings from a Higher Power (by Jerry Knutson; 2017)
About the Author—Jerry Knutson received a bachelor's degree (1974), & a master's in Environmental Engineering (1976). He began Quaker worship in the mid-1980's, & attended Pendle Hill 2002-03, studying spiritual discernment. From 2005-14; he worked on discernment under Pittsburgh Meeting's care. His ongoing ministry in spirituality, discernment, Quakerism, prisoner visitation & support, has been under Orlando Meeting's care since 2017. He splits membership & time between Orlando & the Monongalia Meeting in Morgantown, WV.
Failure's only a problem if success is the goal ... the goal is witnessing to the love and truth of God and God's living spirit as it works through us." Father Gerry Reynolds
What is Discernment?—I've studied it since 1999. I've taken 6 long courses & 12 short courses on it, read over 50 books, & written 2 dissertations. I've presented 2 weeklong courses, & facilitated 25 shorter discernment workshops. Here's some of what I've learned about daily personal discernment in a practical how-to guide.
Discernment implies that guidance is always there waiting. Early Quakers called comprehending guidance as "[waiting & seeking for a way] to open." The guidance already exists, hidden behind a curtain. Some believe discernment is a skill & want a formula for discernment. Conceptual thinking can be part of discernment, but discernment includes other ways that defy logic & common sense. [When does something defying logic truly lack value, spiritual or otherwise; when is it illogical but still has spiritual value]? Some see it as a gift we get better at with practice; discernment is skill & gift. What is this ever-present guidance's source? Discernment is the human practice of opening to Agape's [God's] guidance. The Greek word agape is an aspect of love, namely unconditional love, or "spontaneous self-giving love expressed freely without calculation."
When is Discernment Used/ Why Use Discernment?/ How is Guidance Received?—If I use discernment for little things, I'll have practiced for making life-changing decisions; I have my mind attuned to Agape at all times. I once put on a sweatshirt without understanding why; I late felt an illness coming on, and I believe the sweatshirt kept me warm and prevented the illness.
Guidance found by discernment comes from Agape & uses not only mind but also other parts of my self, & includes consequences to others. I once drove an hour to a local meeting, & found myself locked out. I didn't wait for members to show up, & my anger took over while I drove the hour-long route home, [I hung onto my anger for 2 days; more about that later. [Saul's discernment of a need for a radical change in faith] was spectacular; Saul was persecuting & killing early Christians. He was very far from Agape, so Agape had to get his attention. Elijah was close to God. All his discernment, his guidance from Agape, was a still, small voice. Leadings by Agape are gentle, tender & optional. My theory is that Agape's voice decibel level is directly proportional to my distance from Agape, or to the concern's urgency; guidance can come as images, feelings, events, or songs.
Receiving Unsolicited Guidance/ ... in Meeting for Worship—Agape often speaks without being asked. It most commonly shares illogical things persistently, & leads in surprising directions; to me such thoughts are anomalies. Logical thoughts need to be persistent & surprising to discern the source. Spiritual Healing Group skipped a meeting because I was the only one coming. On meeting day I got persistent, surprising guidance to go. A woman in great pain was there. She said: "I didn't know about your group. I told the driver to stop as we went past here." Had I chose not to go. I wouldn't have known I was needed & that I received "true" guidance.
I had an urge to follow a woman with chemical sensitivities who left meeting early; I was needed to sit with her. My subconscious mind knew I was needed, but my conscious mind didn't know until she verified it. Peggy Senger writes: "When I am receptive, messages arrive. It is essential that I recognize and accept the messages. I need to discern where the message comes from. I weed out or divert to the right time and place, those ideas that are simply mine ... Divine messages have a feel and a smell to me and it is unmistakable ... It is easy to hear the message and be distracted to the point of having it slip by, not caught, not treasured, not attended to."
At Pendle in 2002, I began to "quake" when I was prompted to give vocal ministry. My "quaking" was a gentle buzzing in my heart, a new sensation for me. I tested the ministry & found it's source wasn't me. I let the quaking build. When I stood, the quaking stopped. I became calm, & I felt a great peace as I gave the vocal ministry; no one experiences quaking the same way. I felt subtle quaking 2 weeks later, but the quaking didn't rise to a level that compelled me to stand & speak. My certainty about my ministry and its timing came to a head during one of the last announcements. I knew this was the time for my vocal ministry and I rose and gave it. Ministry from Agape coming from other vocal messages can be discerned by the Agape within me resonating with the Agape within the vocal minister. Some messages are neither clearly Spirit-led or clearly inappropriate; I can't discern their source and shouldn't try. I should discern if there is a kernal of truth in the message for me to hear
Receiving Solicited Guidance: Simplified Method—Some people use Tarot, the I Ching, runes, and random Bible-pointing after prayer in seeking guidance. These methods are searching for guidance from external sources. As Luke 17:21 says: "The kingdom of God is within you." How do I look for Agape within? I create a "yes," "no" question. I try to imagine future consequences and life after receiving a "yes" and then a "no" answer. I then center for 20 minutes. I gently ask the question and wait for a response. Sometimes I get responses involving light or darkness, heat or cold, consolation or desolation. One scenario may have more peace and joy associated with it. Sometimes an answer presents a third way. The most common response I receive is no response. I try to live my life slowly enough to move at the speed of receiving guidance; I try to just "be" and "do."
I wanted to go to China with some spiritual friends. I anticipated a "yes" to the question, "Should I go?" Instead, after meditation, I asked the question and got a loud "No." Since I was teaching discernment in meditation class, I decided that I needed to follow my own lessons and advice and not go. It turns out that the trip had gotten off its itinerary, and the group had to take a slow, miserable boat ride to get back on the itinerary. If I had gone, I would have wound up wallowing in my own misery.
Holistic Method—In this method, I relax my mind, & imagine a conference of various parts of my self, & images of others affected by the decision. I imagine I am the moderator & all images are sitting around the table. talking about the decision from their viewpoint. If I'm not being unbiased, I take that biased part & add it as another member at the table. I try to get them to agree to the decision; they don't all have an equal voice. Friends that locked me out of meeting stated that they were not very punctual.
I imagined my conference table. My mind said it was a waste of gas & money. My spirit said, "Forgive & forget." My emotions expressed anger. My body noted various discomforts manifesting anger. My shadow advised, "Forget about them." Most of me wanted to return, but a part wanted revenge. I named this part "spoiled little child," & gave it a place at the table. It thought of "teaching them a lesson" & "never returning." "Sanctimonious self" thought of "Quakers having more important things to do than show up on time. Finally, I was able to let Agape overrule these parts of my self. My "sensible side" spoke up and suggested going on a day when someone was showing up early for committee or singing.
This method brings to light all aspects of my self. I find it very helpful to know what is going on in all parts of my self and then try to reconcile these aspects. This method reveals seldom-utilized parts of my self. I recognize them more easily, and I don't have to push away or repress them. Instead, I "hold it in the Light" or let Agape work with it. I allow Light and love to work in and through aspects like "the spoiled child." I have found it useful to make up visual images for the various aspects of my self at the conference.
Testing the Guidance: Reliable Tests—The amount of testing should depend on how significantly the guidance will change your life. Each time you practice and test discernment you become more proficient and get a better process and result. In the Bible, God doesn't seem to mind being tested.
Discernment Test Queries—How does guidance feel right in your relation to Agape? How will I feel diminished if I don't follow this leading? How am I living up to my true, authentic self? How does it feel like a burden has been lifted after you follow a leading? How are your peaceful protests done in Agape rather than anger? How is guidance in accordance with the Golden Rule? How is guidance a fruit of the Spirit? How persistent is guidance? How does guidance feel in your body? How are you mostly helping or hurting others? How are you integrating mind, heart, spirit, & experience? How are you uniting or dividing people? How can you wait for clarity more patiently? What is the collective wisdom of your clearness committee?
By consulting Agape, you can sense if the guidance rings true to your understanding and relationship with Agape. The Golden Rule is a good measuring stick; it can yield opposite results and still be a reliable test, if those applying the Rule want a different, positive thing. Understanding the motivation behind the decisions is important, as decisions coming from anger, fear, frustration, guilt, jealousy, hatred, or selfishness are probably not from Agape. A nun left her convent, because she couldn't perform her duties in a spirit of joy.
Jonathan Dale writes: "[The guidance] was quietly there again and again and again ... It never let me go ... It wasn't a command. It was an inward conversation which always ended with my being shown how my life style was inconsistent with my professed beliefs. It was infinitely patient and quietly persuasive ... The Light spoke to me and nagged me lovingly into something which I knew in my hearts of hearts that I wanted to do, however long my resistance. The nagging needed to be accepted ... [for it] to work creatively in us." [Sometimes your body's reaction to a decision defies careful calculations and statistics; trust your body]. If a decision does not produce a win-win situation, it may not be spiritual guidance from Agape; you should wait.
The holistic, "inner conference" method can help with discernment and be used to test your guidance. Spiritual guidance should help to unite all people. Patience is very important in discerning how you are being guided and allows you to see if the leading is persistent. Urgency is a mark of the ego, not Agape. Pope Francis says: "I am always wary of decisions made hastily, and especially of the 1st thing that comes to my mind If I have to make a decision ... I have to look deep into my self, taking the necessary time. The wisdom of discernment redeems the necessary ambiguity of life and helps us find the most appropriate means, which do not always coincide with what looks great and strong." The clearness committee will carefully listen to how you perceive Agape is guiding you and the committee will help you become clear on the best course of action. The clearness committee is not an inquisition. The careful selection of members of the clearness committee ensures that a safe supportive, and open discussion occurs; The clearness process works best if at least one member is skeptical.
Ambiguous Tests—The following [queries] and tests can be used to verify guidance, but they should be used with other tests and with caution, because they often yield ambiguous results.
[Supplementary Test Queries]—How is the guidance your passion? How is the guidance a cross to the will? What do dreams have to say? How do external events confirm or deny discernment of your leading? How is guidance logical? How does guidance seem right to others? How is guidance ethical? How is what you decide to speak or do: kind; true; necessary? How does it improve silence?
I don't agree with "Follow your bliss"; passion can cloud judgment & lead to extreme acts. You may be led to do things that aren't your passion. Passion & Agape's will together has incredible power. A "cross to the will" was often experienced by traveling ministers, who gave up their home life. Early Quakers walked the streets naked, in part because they didn't want to. Quakers began to question the reliability of a cross to the will as a test & they came to understand that individual discernment must be under the yoke of corporate discernment.
Dreams are a way Agape speaks to people. However dreams can be misleading. A dream may not be God telling me of God's desires for me, but rather my subconscious' desires for my self & fulfilling them in dreams. When I interpret dreams, I look at the feelings in the dream and then look at when I have these feelings in my normal waking life. How literal I take a dream varies. Dreams may be actual experiences in the spiritual realm.
If what you are sensing is Agape's guidance, external events will often begin to occur that reassure you and help you. Just because something is against the flow and hard doesn't mean it isn't a leading; don't confuse difficulty with necessarily being on the wrong path. When faced with the urge to do more in a given situation, in spite of advice that it "wasn't necessary," in most cases trust the urge, especially when it involves apologizing.
I co-owned a building ½-way between Earlham School of Religion (Richmond, IN), & Pendle Hill. I wanted to create a Quaker contemplative center in that building, & the thought came it could be ½-way both geographically & theologically. I thought I should talk to an American Quaker organization's administrator. Just then, such a person walked into the room. This felt like a leading & then a coincidence occurred. The administrator didn't respond, & I realized there was no persistent guidance about the building; I sold the building for a profit. What 1st seemed to be a leading confirmed by coincidence, was shown by continuing revelation to be something else.
I sometimes use a "pros/ cons" list, & put a numerical value on each item. I get a total of each column, & make a decision based on logic & math. However, often guidance seems not to be logical or practical. I brought azaleas to Pittsburgh Friends Meeting for everyone to enjoy; somebody took them. Following a nudge to call my friend Eliza, I discovered that someone from the deceased's family took mine along with the funeral flowers.
Another test is seeking the input of others, [i.e.] friends, spouses, & children. Sometimes a spouse will con-firm one's leading before one has a chance to say anything about it. This test is ambiguous, for you often choose your friends because they think like you. [In the process of listening to them, you may miss the prevailing mood of those outside your immediate circle]. If the leading is unethical, & doesn't position me to look like a good person, then it probably isn't from the Spirit; ethics can give guidance that additional discernment is needed. "Before you speak, ask your self: Is it kind, is it true, is it necessary, Does it improve upon the Silence?" Sai Baba.
Implementing the Guidance: Taking Baby Steps; Receiving Continuing Revelation; Outrunning the Guide; Taking a Zigzag Course; Accepting the Learning Process—Even in uncertainty, I can usually take small, simple reversible steps. Choosing a school can begin with visiting the campus, a clearness committee, and starting the application process. Quakers are open to "continuing revelation" and suspicious of certainty. The guidance is rarely final & more guidance will probably come as it finds a receptive listener. The mystical dimension of discernment is open-ended thinking. Resist the tendency to go further than your guidance, [e.g. by following a "logical course" beyond what your guidance has laid out for you. Sometimes following the path of discernment is like a sailboat tacking into the wind, zigzagging, but going generally in the same direction, or like a labyrinth, with frequent reversals of direction. Agape is looking for co-creators, not puppets. Mother Teresa said: "God calls us to be faithful, not necessarily to be successful."
Spiritual Disciplines/ Simplifying the Process—If we want a relationship with Agape, we need to spend time with Agape. Spiritual disciplines lead deeper into spiritual life & are necessary to build a close relationship with Agape. Trying to discern Agape's will is most successful when built on prayer, meditation, gratitude, devotion & faithfulness. What is the best spiritual practice for you? I have found a synergistic effect by combining different spiritual practices: meditation; prayer; examen; forgiveness; to do list (including rewards); observing my self; devotional reading; serving others; seeing God in nature; spiritual friendship; gratitude prayers.
I make daily meditation a priority; morning meditation comes before coffee. On hectic days I really need relaxation, efficiency, & centeredness. I pray-type into my lap-top; it keeps my mind from wandering & gives a record of what I've said; I pray better & more often. For examen at day's end, focus on how Agape was working, when you were most grateful, & least grateful. Sometimes one day's desolation can turn into a consolation later. .
I had a dream that I introduced to a friend a man whom I deeply resented; when I awoke, I was happy that I was polite & showed no resentment. I remembered that resentment keeps the wrong person up at night & that forgiveness is a gift I give myself. Forgiveness starts with forgiving myself for all my errors; realizing my mistakes means making it easier to forgive others. I write a "to do list," including a reward item, and ask Agape for input. I often imagine observing myself from a distance. As we work to study and practice discernment, discernment becomes simpler. Discernment is not effort, but surrender, awareness, and openness. When we are acting in love, of the Spirit, of Agape, of others, of ourselves, the decisions may not be as important.
Queries—Why is individual spiritual discernment important? How is discernment both a skill and a gift? What is the source of discernment? Why is corporate discernment important? How do I discern the way forward in my own life?
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305. Spiritual Discernment: The Context and Goal of Clearness Committee (by Patricia Loring; 1992)
About the Author—Patricia Loring has been released by Bethesda (MD) Friends Meeting for a ministry in nurture of the spiritual life, [i.e.] creating/leading adult religious education; spiritual development; retreat ministry; workshops; spiritual guidance; writing. She spent 5 terms at Pendle Hill & completed long-term programs in Spiritual Guidance & Group Leadership at Shalem Institute in Washington, D. C.; this pamphlet grew out of those programs. She was told to write something on the clearness process as spiritual discernment herself.
Divine Guidance & Spiritual Discernment—Spiritual discernment lies at the heart of Quaker spirituality & practice. Discernment is the faculty we use to distinguish the Spirit's true movement to speak in meeting from the wholly human urge to share. Discernment is a gift from God, not a personal achievement. We all have some measure of this gift. As we grow and are faithful in the spiritual life we may well be given more. The development of discernment is one dimension of a lifelong, ongoing conversation with God, in which we learn to listen to a profound and subtle language and “let our lives speak.” As we grow in our willingness and God-given capacity to carry out the will of God or to live in tune with God’s will, we grow towards living a discerned life.
Many early Quakers did not distinguish [clearly] between a motion of the Spirit & the most pressing or plausible impulse within themselves. Cruel punishments inflicted on James Nayler for his ride into Bristol—& the persecution that came upon Friends—gave the greatest impetus to Friends to [discerning if the source of leadings was divine or human need]. It was no longer an individual issue when the community suffered for the excesses.
Discernment: Tests of Leadings—[The “guidelines” Quakers developed] for discerning leadings remained rough, experiential, & uncodified. As a result, there are no handy lists of discernment tests in early Friends’ writings of. The earliest group of signs Friends had as they were testing their leadings is the “fruits of the Spirits” [Galatians 5:23, namely] “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness & self-control” [They were assumed present in a life truly lived in the Spirit]. Some of the fruits indicated what has been called the moral purity of an action [i.e. freedom from self-willed, self-serving or self-centered motivations]. Promptings truly of divine origin are more likely to persist over time, despite outward checks.
Obviously self-control is a closely related indicator of moral purity. Early Friends [also talked of the “the cross.” [some were led to the conviction that the more humiliating to the individual were consequences, the more likely it was to be a true leading. Another rough grouping of fruits of the Spirit illuminates the quality of a leading by its results in community life. To experience unity in God’s love bears fruit in love of neighbor. The fruits of the Spirit, kindness and gentleness, are dimensions of the first fruit love.
The experience of being united in Truth produces the expectation [of consistency between the] perceptions of persons attuned to divine guidance. Early on, quite discerning people submitted leadings to others whose capacity for discernment they respected. In discerning a formal leading in ministry to the body of Friends, it became customary to bring it into corporate discernment process of the meeting for business. What is sought is a sense of deep, interior unity which is a sign members are consciously gathered together in God & may therefore trust their corporate guidance. Friends have so valued the fruit of group discernment that they have been willing to labor hard & to wait long to come into unity with one another before proceeding in a matter of substance.
Friends utilize the Bible, writings of spiritual leaders or saintly people from Quaker & other traditions. They work with passages they feel are in the spirit of the essence of the work rather than with exceptional passages. Peace has been regarded both as a fruit of the Spirit & as a sign of authenticity. Quaker experience has been that living close to the Spirit has the effect of harmonizing & reconciling both within & between persons. A new task disturbs a person’s peace; faithfully discharging the task leads to restoration of inner peace. The word “clear” is today more apt to be used in the shape of a leading than in discerning when a leading has been fulfilled.
Being Led as Response to Outer Needs—Sometimes something happens in the wider community or world disturbs a person’s peace, and some action will be required to restore it. The wait and solution may be short and simple, or prolonged [and long-term]. For the person whose mystical sense of unity has extended to the whole of creation the agony of being in the world and at odds with its values and actions may be acute. It requires [real] discernment to discover whether the ministry called for requires prophetic speech, humble and hidden activities, bold and dramatic action, or other novel and previously unimagined course.
We are responsible for faithfully discerning and performing our own part in the process, leaving the outcome to God. The more deeply we come under guidance ourselves, & stay faithful [to all direction, the less] time, energy, & attention [we have] for trying to bring & keep others up to our mark. Peace which is neither apathy nor avoidance has also been a sign for Friends that they are in compliance with God’s will for them. There are no rules in this matter of leadings and discernment. Leadings come from the mysterious depths of God.
Being Led as Growing into our True Selves—Divine guidance doesn’t always beckon in outward events or situations. Some of our leadings are promptings by inward impulses to growth or change, [when a logical course becomes barren or shuts down completely]. To review lives in light of Eternity fosters respect for unpredictable timing, interconnections, & [consequences] of events, for manifold variations in human lives. Each of us is a unique part of the universe's unfolding, with unique constellations of gifts, to be exercised in God’s service.
We may be led to areas of weakness or disability to teach us humility. Most of the time we are led to function in the area of our gifts; indeed, we’re responsible for doing so. Identification of spiritual gifts doesn’t begin with system, but with the vision of unique giftedness in each person in service of a harmonious spiritual community. The development of the individual’s gifts is for the spiritual community’s sake & God’s purposes; [that is often not the same as] the prevailing system, [& in fact at times critiques prevailing systems [& their faithfulness to divine unfolding]. In addition, there is no one identity or leading which defines a person for a lifetime.
Unprogrammed Quakerism’s vision has been one of slow and steady change, [consistent faithfulness and character]; early Friends called this “perfection.” Their writings [indicate] deep willingness to change and be changed, willingness to see and do and become whatever was required of them in love and confidence in God. [Paul’s expectation of] “unveiled faces like mirrors reflecting the glory of the Lord” [is meant] not just for a few, but of all of us as we enter more intimately into relationship with God.
Thomas Merton writes of false and true selves. To the extent that the self is founded on or constructed of the labels, expectations, or directives of other people, Merton calls it a false self. And to the extent that the self is conceptualized rather than being made up of the activity of the undistorted upwelling of Life in the individual it is false. The “perfection” of early Friends may be seen as a movement from false self to true self. At the entry of the pure breath of Life into us, at its taking shape in us and our response, we find our most authentic self. The effort to come to the true self and to be led through it, is discernment at its most profound level.
The Role of the Community in Personal Discernment—Quaker tradition held expectations that God would raise up prophets from the community to speak to people for the community & the world's good. Individual & community were accountable to each other for the prophetic role. [The community would discern that a leading was “of God,” & minuted its discernment, committing the individual to carrying out the leading, & the community to support of the individual]. More recently, it has meant financial assistance for the period of the ministry.
We can cultivate an environment among us which will foster one another’s spiritual growth by directing & re-directing intention & attention to God. The responsibility for spiritual nurture is shared by the members of the meeting, [some having a greater gift for it than others]. The gift of vocal ministry was to bring the community beyond outward preaching to the inward Teacher and Guide.
[The elder’s gift might be to discern whether vocal ministry’s source was from true self guided by experiencing the Truth] or from the false self’s need. The elder’s interior experience of God’s work in his own heart & life was integrated with sensitively observed experience of Quaker community life to shape his discernment & guidance of others’ spirits. The proportions of intuition & outward evidences in discernment varied depending on individual elder. In the 19th century, the proportion shifted heavily in the direction of outward evidences, [taking the form of discernment by outward rules of dress & marrying within the community]. This sad perversion of discernment by a people who professed to be guided by the spirit of God was a major factor in the near-demise of unprogrammed Friends. [The gift of eldership still exists although most meetings abolished the office]. Unofficial elders are hampered by lack of recognition, cooperation, & nurture of their own growth by their meetings.
The Evolution of the Clearness Committee in the 20th Century—In the early part of the 20th century, there seems to have been mainly relief at the removal of the eldership authority. Young Friends became a creative force in the Society. Maintaining the Peace Testimony and initiating healing of the century old division and wounds within Friends [became priorities]. Young Friends began the current adaptation of clearness committees to discerning leadings and other questions of spiritual import in individual’s lives.
The purpose [of early clearness committees] was [more clearance than clearness], to go into outward aspects of the business or problem at hand, to determine relevant & legitimate questions which might be raised in reference to it & to find information needed for deliberation; actual discernment was left for the meeting for business. Another use of clearness committees among Friends has been in requests for membership, again more a process of clearance than clearness; the applicants sense of leading to join Friends is often regarded as sufficient.
In the 60s clearness committees began evolving into an instrument for matters too personal or not sufficiently seasoned to bring under the weight of the meeting for business. [The “new”] clearness committee seems to offer a way back into community support and guidance at critical times in people’s lives. [In the process of evolution, the term “focus person” developed] for the one whose questions or leadings are the focus of the group. There was no conscious effort to use the clearness process [specifically] for spiritual discernment.
We go to a clearness committee with heart and mind prepared, setting aside our own purposes, in holy expectancy of whatever new thing God is bringing about, as we wait, centered in silence, we trust we will be given the ears to hear what is significant and the words to evoke what is meant to come forth. Patricia Loring
The Clearness Committee as an Instrument for Discernment—Much of the clearness committee's vitality lies in its improvisational quality, which leaves both form & participants open to the promptings of the Spirit. A clearness committee should have members gifted with discernment developed in their personal relationship with God. They should be capable of restraining the very human impulse to give advice. Support is given to the Truth of the focus person’s leading by God and not to what could be a passing attachment or mistaken judgment. [It is best if] the committee members refrain from making statements or suggestions, but only questions.
The questions should, in Parker Palmer’s words be “authentic, challenging, open, loving questions so that the focus person can discover his or her own agenda … Caring, not paternalism or curiosity, is the rule for questioners. The clearness process is profoundly counter-cultural in assuming that the greatest help we give is to refrain from problem-solving, to create a situation in which a person may discern for herself what is needed. The focus person’s discernment process may not only be thwarted, but she will undoubtedly feel violated rather than assisted by the imposition of someone else’s sense of reality in place of encountering reality for herself.
It begins with a moment of silence in order to give over one’s own firm views, to place the outcome in the hands of God. [It continues with listening], with as much complete attentiveness as we can muster. Douglas Steere says, “To ‘listen’ another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another.” Many clearness committees find a natural rhythm which includes a good deal of silence. It is to allow the questions and the answers to sink into us in the silence which follows them, and to sink into them. Some time for reflecting back what was heard may be allowed. Sufficient time in silence at the end may allow a sense of what has emerged to begin to crystallize. A gift of tenderness and love is often a fruit of gathering together in intimacy and openness to wait upon God’s guidance.
Details of Preparation and Organization/In Conclusion—The focus person needs to be clear about what she needs to discern. She puts into a FEW pages of writing what is most important for her committee to know at the outset. Her committee’s preparation will be to read carefully, assimilate and hold [the focus person’s] background [material] in the Light. Who is to appoint the members of the committee? It should be someone who might be expected to have a developed sense of the gifts needed for the work and of potential committee members. [Not just anyone can be on the committee]; volunteers are discouraged, [as someone who really wants to help] might have neither the requisite listening ear nor the capacity to restrain themselves from imposing their solutions on the situation. It is helpful to have another member of the committee undertake responsibility for the convening the committee and for directing the flow of the process.
In era when the loss of community is being mourned, a clearness committee may be helpful in inviting greater involvement in one another’s lives. Within the committee, the focus person may choose to establish areas of her life which are not open to questions, or questions we may answer inwardly but gently decline to answer orally. Freedom to ask searching questions and to give honest intimate, or profound answers—or to decline to give answers—must be uninhibited by worry about where they will be repeated or how they will be interpreted.
Is any record of the proceedings to be kept? [If so, what, and how?] Should the entire matter be left as unrecorded as a meeting for worship, in confidence that the process will work in its own way and that what is forgotten is not required for the right discernment?
Insights often emerge [long after the session, when] the experience percolates through the consciousness, the unconsciousness and back again. Sometimes the result of the percolation is that a new layer of questions has emerged and needs to be addressed in another sessions. 2 hours generally seems to be the maximum time that people can function with alertness in this kind of intensely focused way.
The crucial element for the meeting for worship for the conduct of business, [and for the clearness committee] is the establishment of context of prayerful attentiveness for the entire meeting. Liberal amounts of silence between utterances permits them to be heard with all their resonances and taken below the surface mind. It can allow what does come forth to arise spontaneously from the Center. Preparations need to be made, and then let go of, the better to see what is in the present without preconception under the guidance of the Spirit.
We go to a clearness committee with heart and mind prepared, setting aside our own purposes, in holy expectancy of whatever new thing God is bringing about, as we wait, centered in silence, we trust we will be given the ears to hear what is significant and the words to evoke what is meant to come forth.
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446. Coming to Light: Cultivating Spiritual Discernment through the Quaker Clearness Committee (by Valerie Brown; 2017)
About the Author—Valerie is an international retreat leader, writer, leadership coach, and Principal of Lead in Smart Coaching, specializing in application and integration of mindfulness in daily life. She's written The Mindful School Leader: Practice to Transform Your Leadership and School. She has studied and practiced in the Plum Village tradition since 1995 and ordained in the Order of Interbeing by Thich Nhat Hanh in 2003. Valerie is a member of Solebury Monthly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends.
"I pin my hopes to quiet process & small circles, in which vital & transforming events take place. Rufus Jones
Introduction—Clearness committees aid in spiritual discernment. Pamphlets on discernment are: 305. Spiritual Discernment: Contexts & Goals of Clearness Committees (Patricia Loring; 1992) & 443. Individual Spiritual Discernment: Receiving, Testing, & Implementing Leadings from a Higher Power (Jerry Knutson; 2017). I wrote this pamphlet after seeing clearness committees' impact on non-Quakers in my retreats & workshops. It was 1st used in discernment of marriage & membership. Quakers affiliated with FGC, have been using clearness committees non-traditionally for personal discernment. I share personal experience of the clearness committee, brief history of it, my personal reflections, questions, insights on its appropriate use, & sample format of a clearness committee. There is an appendix of guidelines for open questions, touchstones, & queries. I use the word "God" for: Light or Seed Within; All Things; Energy of Compassion, Love, Understanding, & Peace.
Deepening Light: My Experience of Quaker Clearness Committees—I & my marriage partner participated in a clearness committee to discern our readiness for this step in our lives [in all its many dimensions]. 2 years later I was training in a 2-year facilitator program at the Center for Courage & Renewal in Seattle, WA with Parker Palmer. I was facing a crisis of vocation. I was moving slowly with many stops & starts, from a high pressure & unsustainable career as a lawyer-lobbyist for education and non-profits, to work that was unclear & undefined. Parker, 4 other facilitators-in-training, & I sat together in a candle-lit room for over 2 hours. We experienced: reverent silence; gently probing questions of the focus person; the group's rhythm; deepening of the focus person's experience; mirroring, affirming, celebrating; truthfulness & tenderness; a closing silence.
The Quaker clearness committee is a means of spiritual discernment, i.e. recognizing & understanding God's call in your life. Discernment is a pre-condition for faithful action. How is this of God, or not of God? Listen to that of God. Discernment is the practice of being attentive, being reflective, & being loving in order to determine what is truly from God, and what emerging patterns might bring you closer to God. Quaker faith and practice was founded on spiritual discernment and supports individual discernment with clearness committees.
George Fox believed in "standing still in the light," an invitation to become centered and grounded in the Light. The Light allows us to see our habits and shadows and causes us to examine how we are living. We begin to [lovingly] question consumption, time use, our reading, & relationships. Discernment arises from faithfulness, unfolding over time as you cultivate a spiritual landscape and relationship with God. You practice openness, attentiveness, forgiveness, and kindness inwardly and outwardly; it supports clarity and integrity of action.
... [Personal] Reflection: I held onto the fairy-tale beliefs of marriage: meet the right person; fall in love; marry & live happily ever after. Most of my day was work. I'd been running most of my life from home to college, to graduate school, to law school, to bar exams, to "dream" job, which was killing my soul and leaving me time-bankrupt. I was a closet meditator, to avoid losing credibility with my peers. I didn't know who I was, what I stood for, what was meaningful, how to share or love. I had to recognize this truth before I could change it.
Spiritual Discernment is grounded in the Quaker conviction of availability to every person of the experience and guidance of God, immediate as well as meditated. Patricia Loring
History of the Clearness Committee: an Overview—Early Friends emerged in the 1640's. They discerned through prayer, worship, & Scripture study, whether they had "clearness" in leadings or callings to faithful action. For contemporary Friends, clearness committees have developed so as to support Friends seeking clearness in discernment, offering a loving, supportive, & prayerful community in facing a challenge or decision. True communion with God & one another takes place at the center of our beings as we yield to the light. Early on, clearness committees determined that the couple had no other relationships in place. Now, it determines readiness to marry. In the mid-20th century, these committees shifted to an uncodified & flexible form that could be adapted to a variety of uses & settings. Through worship & open-ended questions, the focus person is assisted in discerning God's presence in the concern, clarifying next steps, or considering new and unexplored options. [It is not a place for giving advice], but for the focus person to find their own personal truth and best course of action. In the 1970's, Young Friends of North America linked with Members for a New Society, a network of social activists. Clearness Committees were used as a secular process of decision-making.
As it has evolved, the clearness committee offers "a [spiritual] way back into community support and guidance at critical times in peoples' lives. Discernment is not finished when we make a decision. There may be no clearcut answer at the clearness committee's end; there may be deeper questions, deeper searching [and re-searching] into where God is leading. It is a lifelong and daily practice to learn how to discern: How is an [inner experience a] leading, prompting, nudging from God or my own contributions of thought & imagination?
Quakers believe in communion with the Divine, the Light Within, & commit to living lives that outwardly attest to this inward experience. Light and Seed refer to the reality for Friends of God's presence within us for the healing and wholeness of all. The right conditions of "soil," "temperature," "light," and "water," nurture the seed's growth, [break through its hard shell and spurs growth] from the darkness of the soil into the light.
Discernment is a gift from God, not a personal achievement. Sometimes discernment may be a sense of realization without the need for any specific action. Your understanding or point of view may shift & that may be enough. A discipline of faithfulness frees us from deep attachment to our leadings' outcomes, which makes us less sensitive to guidance. Awareness of, & [not attachment to] our thoughts & feelings, desires, fears, responses to people, places, and events, are all occasion in which we create a unique relationship with Truth.
... [Personal] Reflection: I became a lawyer before I knew who I was. I was able to make great legislative achievements and help many people. There was a high price emotionally, relationally, spiritually and physically.[In the beginnings of my] shift in career, I flew into a rage [at the slightest provocation]. I sat down with my self to figure out what was happening to me. I realized I was moving into a vast uncharted and unknown territory of my soul and aligning my self to something deeper. I was learning to trust the Truth within me, and allowing my self to be an instrument of God. I was [no longer] following an outward trajectory or external signal, but instead an inward motion, an imperative I could hardly articulate or understand.
"Deep Calling Under Deep": Key Words of the Clearness Committee—The following words are particularly relevant for the clearness committee process. Waiting, as used by Friends is both "passive/ responsive & active/ responsive." Howard Thurman says that waiting isn't inactivity. He writes in poetry: Over & over questions beat in the waiting moment./ As we listen, floating up through all the jangling echoes of/ our turbulence, there is a sound of another kind—/ A deeper note which only the stillness of the heart makes clear." Watchfulness refers to an "inward attention on our condition, with sensitivity to the Spirit's little hints & motions.
Gathered is a term Friends use to describe being fully present [in community], truly listening while waiting, with expectation that God's presence can be discerned, & with the mind oriented to the Spirit's power. Friends expressed inward experience in terms of Feeling, "knowing without words, a pre-conscious realization." Feeling clear means one had a clear sense of needing to begin or end an action. Quakers believe God's guidance can be felt. There are no clear guidelines to knowing whether to trust feelings when seeking clarity. Daily spiritual practice, such as prayer, silence, stillness, rest, renewal, meditation, & body-centered practices like yoga or tai chi, can broaden & deepen self-awareness, which enables you to recognize your Inward Teacher's voice.
... [Personal] Reflection—In my clearness committee experience, I felt the truth of a living God's presence, the sense of expectant, active, watchful waiting, silence's power to illuminate the darkness. I understood the need to inwardly sense feelings, of separating the Inward Teacher's guidance from distractions & impulses.
Key Elements of the Clearness Committee—The key elements of clearness committees are: Every person has an Inner Teacher, an inner source of wisdom—There are no "external authorities on life's deepest issues, there is only the authority that lies within each of us, waiting to be heard." The Clearness Committee's function is remove the interference to hearing one's inner authority and deepest truth. There should be no sense of letdown if the problem isn't solved. A good clearness process does not end; it keeps working long after.
Double Confidentiality—Committee members will not speak with each other or the focus person about what happened.
Open honest, questions, not giving advice or attempts to fix things—Questions should be "authentic, challenging, open, loving questions so the focus person can discover their own agenda without imposition of anyone else's. They help move the focus person to new insights, new ways of thinking about a dilemma.
Guidelines for asking honest, open questions are: A honest, open question is one that doesn't assume knowledge of an answer. It is not based on assumptions that come from interpretations of what we see. It doesn't contain your own opinions or advice. Ask questions about the situation's inner realities as well as the outward facts. Ask questions aimed at helping the focus person explore their concern rather than satisfying your own curiosity. Trust your intuition and ask the "off the wall" questions if it is an honest, open question. Wait on the questions you're not sure about. Allow silence between questions. You can ask a follow-up, clarifying question. Don't ask a third question in-a-row. The best questions are simple & straightforward, but not yes-no or right-wrong answers.
The combination of silence and open questions got me out of my well-rehearsed scripts [in a way] that allowed me to say something fresh and new. I felt privileged at being heard so deeply. Committee participant
For many, refraining from advice is challenging because it "violates the ordinary social use of verbal interchange to display one's self & assert one's ideas. The clearness committee is highly counter-cultural; its members may not make statements or suggestions. It is a space for deep dialogue between focus person & soul. Members create the space & leave it open, free of their curiosity & non-verbal cues. The use of silence to open and close the committee, to punctuate questions, & to gently invite the process is also counter-cultural. Honest self-reflection will be needed to find how to stay true to one's temperament while finding how to authentically speak one's truth with love and respect; silence should be viewed as an additional, essential member of the group. The pace of questioning & answering should be spacious, relaxed, gentle. The focus person may answer, or may decline to answer for any reason or no reason. A question asked at the beginning of the meeting often may touch unassimilated, fresh, or tender feelings. At the meeting's end, any notes taken are given to the focus person.
"When we listen with our heart, we allow reality/ of things to touch us below our identity. When we listen/ below our identity, who we-are is in-formed (formed inwardly)/ by the depth & breadth of things." Mark Nepo
The process is intuitive, non-hierarchical, & grounded in the Quaker testimony of equality, with everyone equally precious to God, with some measure of gift to share. Deep listening [i.e.] to listen another's soul into a condition of disclosure & discovery may be almost the greatest service any human being performs for another." Douglas V. Steere. Our everyday listening [anticipates and] is selective, shallow, and mentally absent. Committee members are at best inwardly attentive, fully present, aware of God's presence, and gathered. They are open and receptive, honoring natural pauses and deep silence.
... [Personal] Reflection: I learned about listening the hard way, [which I] don't recommend. [Not listening and having] the answer before the question was asked was the reason for my divorce. [I had a pouncing cat's style of listening, impatient for the chance to counsel, advise and fix. [Summarizing editor's Addition—I learned to "listen" (be attentive) with: mind (for truth); inner eye (for clarity); voice (seeking wisdom); heart (seeking peace); gut (seeking justice); bowels or chakra base (sharing song and healing)].
When to Use the Clearness Committee—How do you [find &] take the way offering the fullest opportunity for using your gifts in God- & community-service? What am I here to do; am I in the right place to accomplish my vocation, & follow my calling? What do you plan to do with your wild & precious life? What is its meaning & purpose? What needs forgiveness & healing in your life? When you imagine the end of your life being near, how do you imagine spending the time left to you? What is enough? Where do you place self-care in relation to doing good for others? [When am I being self-indulgent]?
Comments—There are times when our plans have gone awry. Too often at these times, the inclination is to go it alone. The clearness committee is ideal for these situations. Our "aliveness" depends on discerning what we are going to do with our life. Questions of the meaning & purpose of life are both deeply personal & paradoxically universal. Often relationships with people closest to us are those most in need of healing. Unresolved family wounds cut deeply, can leave generational scars, & call for healing forgiveness & reconciliation. Life stages present opportunities to define & reassess values, expectations, objectives, and unfinished plans. [We need to avoid] an unsustainable and over-committed pace, [with too little self-care]. Work and rest must be balanced.
A Sample Format for a Clearness Committee—To prepare for a clearness committee, participants are encouraged to develop skills that support inward reflection & awareness [e.g. slowing down, paying attention [& examining] mental, physical, emotional and spiritual states, sitting quietly, reading and reflecting, resting prayer, being in nature. I begin the clearness committee work by introducing the Touchstones, guidelines designed to create safe space within group. I recommend to the groups that they discuss the Touchstones & use them.
The Touchstones are: give and receive welcome; be present as fully as possible [with your whole self]; sharing is voluntary; speak your truth while respectful of others' truth; no fixing, saving, advising or correcting each other; respond to each other with honest, open questions; replace judgment of others with "wondering why"; all participants need to attend to their own inner teacher; trust and learn from the silence; observe deep confidentiality; accept possibility of getting what you need from the group, seeds that will keep growing.
The focus person should select 4 or 5 trusted people to serve as committee members, [and perhaps a qualified acquaintance. A timekeeper should be selected, someone aware of the timing of the process, but willing to trust & not interrupt the process at crucial moments taking place outside of allotted time. The focus person's preferences in arranging the meeting space should be consulted. It is possible that the focus person may not have thought or energy to give consideration to space arrangement.
Timeline for the Clearness Committee—[The focus person chooses a length of silence to begin the meeting]. Then, the focus person describes their concern, or dilemma (15 minutes). Committee members ask questions grounded in deep listening. Notes are taken to recount the focus person's journey. Silence is allowed to be a group-member, & to do the heavy lifting (90 minutes). In the meeting's last part, the focus person is offered the options of members mirroring what they heard, or asking more questions. Mirroring is reflecting back what was heard. It isn't members offering assessments of what they heard (10 minutes). The meeting ends with the clearness committee celebrating & affirming the focus person. For some focus people, accepting affirmations of committee members is the most difficult part of the process. Silence ends the meeting (5 minutes).
Any debriefing should take place several hours later, or the next day. All committee members should comment on their experience of the process, not about the substance of what was said. The focus person should not be engaged in conversation unless they invite it. The clearness committee is transformational and foundational for [any] work in world. The gathered community is an unstoppable power; it unites. The human story is about small intimate gestures in small circles of people, speaking and listening deeply; it is about the largeness of love. The clearness committee is, at its heart, about the mystery of personhood and of God's call in our lives.
Queries—What are daily disciplines & practices that help you be attentive to the "still, small voice" within? What happened when you were drawn by a "true leading," & what do you notice? How do you remain alert to underlying patterns, beliefs, assumptions, expectations & how they influence you? What captures your attention, negatively, or positively, & how does this affect you? What concern would you bring as a focus person? What does it mean to you to be "clear?" Where do you feel a lack of clarity?
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392. Spirit-led Eldering (by Margery Mears Larrabee; 2007)
About the Author—Margery Mears Larrabee, a member of Mt Holly Meeting in New Jersey, is teacher, leader, & facilitator of workshops & retreats. She is elder & minister in Friends General Conference’s Traveling Ministries Program. She has served on several worship & ministry committees. She has authored 2 pamphlets
[Introduction]—What is Spirit-led eldering? Spirit-led eldering uses a sacred point of view that can penetrate any experience, any structure, & situation, & help us regain or maintain capacity for being spiritually grounded and faithfully connected to the Spirit. It is offering spiritual leadership, to support and encourage the life of the Spirit in an individual or group. No particular act or behavior in itself qualifies as Spirit-led eldering.
Spirit-led eldering is in the genre with restorative justice, affirmative inquiry, appreciative listening, and servant leadership. The emphasis here is on giving attention to our substance, our true nature, as a basis for resolving any issues with our shadow. Being spirit-led is key. Without having this intention we are likely to speak merely from our self-centered thoughts and feeling or from unresolved personal issues. The point is to discern the best way to be used in the service of the Spirit.
Spirit-led eldering can be either spontaneous or intentional. It is essential and integral to our Quaker way of faith and practice. We may have been fearful not only of seeking and trusting the Spirit but also of taking the steps to prepare ourselves to be an adequate channel, or to act in an intrusive or socially acceptable way. Structures providing a container and an opportunity for Spirit-led eldering are the nominating committee, care and oversight committee, spiritual friendships, teaching, meeting for worship, and clearness committee.
Paramount in Spirit-led eldering is the Spirit’s accepted presence & of someone listening, having learned that remaining faithful to the Spirit-relationship is primary. The opportunity for Spirit-led eldering is often unex-pected. We need to be prepared by our discipline & practice to carry out Spirit-led eldering. Sandra Cronk emphasizes that eldering’s purpose isn’t to prove another wrong, but to move toward greater faithfulness together.
From the early gathered Quaker community, mature, spiritually-grounded persons emerged as guides. These discerning Friends began to live out the eldering function. They were called elders as a term for their function, not as an office they filled. In time individuals within meetings were assigned responsibility for maintaining Friends’ values and the distinctive Quaker way of life. These individuals became over-vigilant, caught up in hierarchy, criticalness, and heavy-handedness. The authentic affirmation and the positive power of Spirit-led truth-telling and plain-speaking have been essential to my spiritual journey.
Early Examples of Eldering—John Richardson was approached by William Penn after speaking at length in meeting for worship. Penn said that they “were willing and easy to give way to this Truth.” This is an example of mentoring and evoking gifts. In the early 18th century, there were “overseers that carried out the eldering function,” guided by queries and prayerful discernment, [resulting in either] letters of repentance or removal from formal membership in the meeting. Samuel Bownas followed Quaker customs of dress and attended worship, but in his heart he cared much more for pleasure. [He was specifically called to account by a young minister, and felt like Saul on the road to Damascus; it turned his life around and inspired him to ministry]. I see this admonishment as righteous judgment and correction that flowed out of a Spirit-led ministry.
Does the Spirit's authority break through our social conventions for its own purposes in ways we haven’t yet understood? Are we open & receptive to such possibilities? What I find compelling & inspiring about early Friends' lives of is their mutual and active desire to be accountable for the spiritual health, nurture, and behavior of members, attenders and the meeting as a whole. A Friends meeting is intended to be so much more than a loose association of individuals on separate and private spiritual journeys. We let go of the idea that we have only private lives and hold ourselves accountable to the authority of the Spirit in the life of the meeting.
[In a dispute between Friends over water rights, where one Friend dammed up the waterway, many methods were tried to resolve the dispute, including the classical Biblical ones. One of the Friends asked:] What could possibly be done that would likely have the desired effect? It “was presented to him that he should go wash his neighbor’s feet.” [He himself resisted the idea, as did his neighbor, but they finally submitted and a great, lasting change came over them both, far beyond settling the water rights dispute].
[Queries]: To what extent are we willing to give priority to creating and maintaining right relationship with the Spirit and with each other? Are we open to inspiration leading to unfamiliar and extraordinary acts? Can we go beyond what seems fair and right in an ordinary way? Do we look 1st to changing ourselves with restoration and healing? How are we being challenged?
Eldering Today—The implications of Spirit-led eldering are based on a concern for the wholeness of the person and the meeting. [Eldering based solely on the “usual order” of the meeting takes away the freedom of the Spirit and comes off as a reprimand]. If there are strong negative reactions, they may be eldering, or they may be strong responses to a personal need. Encounters like that inspired a minute that called us to listen, hear, and be open to any genuine, heartfelt messages of a person’s spiritual journey.
Spiritual discernment allows for reflective space between the perception of the need for eldering and the actual carrying out of the eldering function. Spirit-led eldering strives to include whole persons and whole situations, accepted and understood in their fullness. The eldering function is more effective when it does not unnecessarily stir up defensiveness and hurt. It is equally important for eldering persons to remain faithful to their leadings and not to base their approaches solely on the anticipated response of the recipients.
Comments made at the rise of meeting are simply that—comments. The eldering function in depth requires a deep and intimate exchange that includes finding out what the situation is like for the person being eldered. The [full] process would provide participants with an opportunity to engage each other, in person, and in the Spirit. The important point is to remain open to the Spirit and to let our imaginations and creativity be touched by it so that we may be led to meet the occasion appropriately and helpfully. [Once, when many spoke and there was little or no worshipful time between speaking], I found myself standing up, remaining wordless for a time; standing has historic precedent among Friends.
The power of being spirit-led can lead us to behave in a creative way unique to the assembled body and to the moment. Our behavior in a similar situation should not be repeated simply because it has been helpful in the past. A large meeting I was attended designated ½ an hour at each monthly meeting for business to be spent listening to individuals’ concerns or witness on same-gender commitments.
The process continued for 1 ½ years, with 7 years of discussion preceding it. People opened up and found themselves saying things about themselves they hadn’t realized before. A sense of the meeting finally emerged, with a persistent voice of opposition. The clerk reminded us that arriving at the sense of the meeting did not require unanimity; we approved a minute and came to closure. In this process Friends sought to accept and understand each other’s human experience, even when they did not agree.
Queries—[In the face of unaware & repetitive comments in opposition to the sense of the meeting], is a forceful “Sit down” an appropriate interruption & helpful to the meeting? Was there a missed opportunity for nurturing & discernment prior to the actual business session to relate to the disagreeing Friend?
Special Opportunities for Eldering: Transfer of Membership—Friends have beliefs, principles, testimonies, & processes to consider & explore. The meeting for membership process presents numerous opportunities to practice Spirit-led eldering, including accountability. Here it is concerned with beginning to nurture a deep connection, understanding & trust in the Spirit. After 2 years of sojourning at a new meeting, I was contacted by a member of their membership committee. She shared the concern that I should move to membership as soon as I was spiritually ready [to leave my Washington D. C. meeting after 33 years]. Her meeting with me showed that the meeting was aware & caring & faithful to its responsibilities. Showing this kind of respect, dignity, and value for what may need to happen in a critical and caring process is essential for meaningful eldering.
Queries—As we meet in an appropriate time & space, do we have in mind 1st to listen, to understand, & to accept the other person’s present situation? Are we prepared for an outcome of either mutual agreement or mutual disagreement? Are we mindful of & turned to the Spirit throughout our exchange?
Application for Membership—The process of application for membership can be a unique opportunity to explore in depth hard questions about faith and other matters that are germane to Quaker faith and practice. A scientist came to meeting who appeared to feel that the meeting for worship was fertile ground to win people over to his perspective. He met with a group at the clerk’s home and [shared at length his life story of religious faith, betrayal, and his finding salvation in science]. When the clerk shared her own experience with Quaker faith and practice, he listened in disbelief and abruptly left the house. Although Friends would have welcomed further dialogue and relationship with him, he chose to leave.
Queries—Can we give priority to finding the energy and time for an extended eldering process when it seems called for? How are we nurturing our capacity for plain speaking that emerges from the clear, centered, and caring place in which we are empowered to do this kind of eldering? Are we ready to trust the Spirit and give up expectations about outcomes? Are we willing to provide a rigorous membership process that brings applicants to their own understanding of Friends’ faith and practice, and provides a solid beginning to their experience in the meeting?
Nominating Committee/ How to Elder—[In the nominating process, with deadlines & shortage of candidates], it is tempting to use a secular approach to get the job done. The committee has the opportunity to discern gifts & leadings of individuals & offer [positions] that fit appropriately for the benefit of the person & the meeting. [When done this way the committee may call itself] “a committee for the discovery of gifts & leadings.” Using such a process, there is a greater likelihood of committee work being in line with the Spirit & the meeting’s spiritual life. Nominating committees may encourage formation of small groups for gift-discernment.
Queries—How may each of us seek to do inner work needed to become more prepared, ready to respond to others in the Spirit's service in our community? How are we paying attention, blessing, calling forth, & nurturing our own & each other’s gifts as we support the work of the nominating committee?
What do people say when they are eldering? There is no 1 dialogue, no 1 way to speak, no 1 context in which eldering happens. We reach out to others from this spiritual consciousness with desire to hold all in alignment with Spirit. Eldering is most deeply effective when work is done from a spiritual consciousness, regardless of any annoyance or anger that may have led up to it. The eldering function flows out of our sensitivity to inner guidance & spiritual perception. One needs to be careful not to let preconceived ideas close off awareness.
The Internal Dialogue—A basic assumption underlying Spirit-led eldering is that the same Light is in all; that Light in one person may answer the Light in another. When one is led to live out the eldering function, a dialog in which one listens and responds to the authority of the Inner Light is primary.
Queries—Where is the Spirit in this matter? Am I coming from a centered place? Am I open to continual discernment and guidance? Am I prepared [to love, to affirm as well as confront], to embrace both the substance and shadow within the person and relate to that totality, not just to the particular concern? Is my desire to be right or to make the situation right? Am I clear that eldering is for supporting one another in keeping with the Spirit out of which good order comes, not to bring change? Am I sufficiently receptive & attentive to the Spirit that I am ready to be used as an instrument, in whatever unusual way opens? Are there times when I know to wait until a problem behavior by repetition clearly becomes a fault?
The intention of Spirit-led eldering is for both persons to be in right relationship with each other. Isaac Penington’s queries for troubled relationships include: “Is the thing or things which thou hast against him fully so as thou apprehendest? Hast thou seen evil in him, or to break forth from him? Hast thou … in tender love and meekness of spirit, laid the thing before him? Hast thou tenderly mentioned to others, and desired them to go with thee to him, that what is evil and offensive in him might be more weightily and advantageously laid before him for his humbling and recovery? If thou has let in any hardness of spirit, or hard reasonings against him, the witness of God will not justify thee in that.
Listening/ The Mystery of Eldering—Douglas Steere wrote: “To ‘listen’ another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another.” “Human listening then becomes what it is: a preciously thin point in the membrane where the human and divine action can be felt to mingle.” There is a God-given knowing and wisdom within each of us to be brought forth. The listener gives up expectations about outcome and simply trusts. As we discern our places within the eldering process, we are frequently led to be nondirective, [but we must still] remain open to being called to more directive or forceful approaches as the Spirit works through us in unpredictable ways.
For me, eldering is not so much something we do as it is something we are. When eldering is mindful of whether persons, circumstances, and situations are in or not in alignment with the Spirit, then we can be guided to function accordingly. We take great risks in allowing any worshiper to offer spoken ministry in meeting for worship and in our commitment to love each other as part of our meeting.
Today among Friends, we find considerable concern that any desire to elder first goes to a committee. With equal soundness, a concerned person may wish to turn to other meeting structures mentioned here for the same desire. The most important thing is our intention to be Spirit-led & to stay connected & nurtured by our faith community. Ron Selleck wrote: Both an unspiritual, [rigid] rigor and unspiritual laxity are destructive of life.”
The Spirit will bless our investment in the life of the meeting and our expectation that ways will open. During the surprising, disarming times, a connection is made with God-given wisdom and insight, [and Truth is conveyed]. The Spirit may also break through in wonderfully admonishing [and surprising] ways, through surprising people. Our awareness of God breaking through and discovering ourselves in a moment of alignment with the Spirit is an indefinable, uncontrollable and unpredictable mystery.
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436. Spreading the Fire: Challenging and Encouraging Friends through Travel in the Ministry (By Debbie Humphries; 2015)
For many, refraining from advice is challenging because it "violates the ordinary social use of verbal interchange to display one's self & assert one's ideas. The clearness committee is highly counter-cultural; its members may not make statements or suggestions. It is a space for deep dialogue between focus person & soul. Members create the space & leave it open, free of their curiosity & non-verbal cues. The use of silence to open and close the committee, to punctuate questions, & to gently invite the process is also counter-cultural. Honest self-reflection will be needed to find how to stay true to one's temperament while finding how to authentically speak one's truth with love and respect; silence should be viewed as an additional, essential member of the group. The pace of questioning & answering should be spacious, relaxed, gentle. The focus person may answer, or may decline to answer for any reason or no reason. A question asked at the beginning of the meeting often may touch unassimilated, fresh, or tender feelings. At the meeting's end, any notes taken are given to the focus person.
"When we listen with our heart, we allow reality/ of things to touch us below our identity. When we listen/ below our identity, who we-are is in-formed (formed inwardly)/ by the depth & breadth of things." Mark Nepo
The process is intuitive, non-hierarchical, & grounded in the Quaker testimony of equality, with everyone equally precious to God, with some measure of gift to share. Deep listening [i.e.] to listen another's soul into a condition of disclosure & discovery may be almost the greatest service any human being performs for another." Douglas V. Steere. Our everyday listening [anticipates and] is selective, shallow, and mentally absent. Committee members are at best inwardly attentive, fully present, aware of God's presence, and gathered. They are open and receptive, honoring natural pauses and deep silence.
... [Personal] Reflection: I learned about listening the hard way, [which I] don't recommend. [Not listening and having] the answer before the question was asked was the reason for my divorce. [I had a pouncing cat's style of listening, impatient for the chance to counsel, advise and fix. [Summarizing editor's Addition—I learned to "listen" (be attentive) with: mind (for truth); inner eye (for clarity); voice (seeking wisdom); heart (seeking peace); gut (seeking justice); bowels or chakra base (sharing song and healing)].
When to Use the Clearness Committee—How do you [find &] take the way offering the fullest opportunity for using your gifts in God- & community-service? What am I here to do; am I in the right place to accomplish my vocation, & follow my calling? What do you plan to do with your wild & precious life? What is its meaning & purpose? What needs forgiveness & healing in your life? When you imagine the end of your life being near, how do you imagine spending the time left to you? What is enough? Where do you place self-care in relation to doing good for others? [When am I being self-indulgent]?
Comments—There are times when our plans have gone awry. Too often at these times, the inclination is to go it alone. The clearness committee is ideal for these situations. Our "aliveness" depends on discerning what we are going to do with our life. Questions of the meaning & purpose of life are both deeply personal & paradoxically universal. Often relationships with people closest to us are those most in need of healing. Unresolved family wounds cut deeply, can leave generational scars, & call for healing forgiveness & reconciliation. Life stages present opportunities to define & reassess values, expectations, objectives, and unfinished plans. [We need to avoid] an unsustainable and over-committed pace, [with too little self-care]. Work and rest must be balanced.
A Sample Format for a Clearness Committee—To prepare for a clearness committee, participants are encouraged to develop skills that support inward reflection & awareness [e.g. slowing down, paying attention [& examining] mental, physical, emotional and spiritual states, sitting quietly, reading and reflecting, resting prayer, being in nature. I begin the clearness committee work by introducing the Touchstones, guidelines designed to create safe space within group. I recommend to the groups that they discuss the Touchstones & use them.
The Touchstones are: give and receive welcome; be present as fully as possible [with your whole self]; sharing is voluntary; speak your truth while respectful of others' truth; no fixing, saving, advising or correcting each other; respond to each other with honest, open questions; replace judgment of others with "wondering why"; all participants need to attend to their own inner teacher; trust and learn from the silence; observe deep confidentiality; accept possibility of getting what you need from the group, seeds that will keep growing.
The focus person should select 4 or 5 trusted people to serve as committee members, [and perhaps a qualified acquaintance. A timekeeper should be selected, someone aware of the timing of the process, but willing to trust & not interrupt the process at crucial moments taking place outside of allotted time. The focus person's preferences in arranging the meeting space should be consulted. It is possible that the focus person may not have thought or energy to give consideration to space arrangement.
Timeline for the Clearness Committee—[The focus person chooses a length of silence to begin the meeting]. Then, the focus person describes their concern, or dilemma (15 minutes). Committee members ask questions grounded in deep listening. Notes are taken to recount the focus person's journey. Silence is allowed to be a group-member, & to do the heavy lifting (90 minutes). In the meeting's last part, the focus person is offered the options of members mirroring what they heard, or asking more questions. Mirroring is reflecting back what was heard. It isn't members offering assessments of what they heard (10 minutes). The meeting ends with the clearness committee celebrating & affirming the focus person. For some focus people, accepting affirmations of committee members is the most difficult part of the process. Silence ends the meeting (5 minutes).
Any debriefing should take place several hours later, or the next day. All committee members should comment on their experience of the process, not about the substance of what was said. The focus person should not be engaged in conversation unless they invite it. The clearness committee is transformational and foundational for [any] work in world. The gathered community is an unstoppable power; it unites. The human story is about small intimate gestures in small circles of people, speaking and listening deeply; it is about the largeness of love. The clearness committee is, at its heart, about the mystery of personhood and of God's call in our lives.
Queries—What are daily disciplines & practices that help you be attentive to the "still, small voice" within? What happened when you were drawn by a "true leading," & what do you notice? How do you remain alert to underlying patterns, beliefs, assumptions, expectations & how they influence you? What captures your attention, negatively, or positively, & how does this affect you? What concern would you bring as a focus person? What does it mean to you to be "clear?" Where do you feel a lack of clarity?
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QUAKER PRACTICE: ELDERING/ TRAVELING
392. Spirit-led Eldering (by Margery Mears Larrabee; 2007)
About the Author—Margery Mears Larrabee, a member of Mt Holly Meeting in New Jersey, is teacher, leader, & facilitator of workshops & retreats. She is elder & minister in Friends General Conference’s Traveling Ministries Program. She has served on several worship & ministry committees. She has authored 2 pamphlets
[Introduction]—What is Spirit-led eldering? Spirit-led eldering uses a sacred point of view that can penetrate any experience, any structure, & situation, & help us regain or maintain capacity for being spiritually grounded and faithfully connected to the Spirit. It is offering spiritual leadership, to support and encourage the life of the Spirit in an individual or group. No particular act or behavior in itself qualifies as Spirit-led eldering.
Spirit-led eldering is in the genre with restorative justice, affirmative inquiry, appreciative listening, and servant leadership. The emphasis here is on giving attention to our substance, our true nature, as a basis for resolving any issues with our shadow. Being spirit-led is key. Without having this intention we are likely to speak merely from our self-centered thoughts and feeling or from unresolved personal issues. The point is to discern the best way to be used in the service of the Spirit.
Spirit-led eldering can be either spontaneous or intentional. It is essential and integral to our Quaker way of faith and practice. We may have been fearful not only of seeking and trusting the Spirit but also of taking the steps to prepare ourselves to be an adequate channel, or to act in an intrusive or socially acceptable way. Structures providing a container and an opportunity for Spirit-led eldering are the nominating committee, care and oversight committee, spiritual friendships, teaching, meeting for worship, and clearness committee.
Paramount in Spirit-led eldering is the Spirit’s accepted presence & of someone listening, having learned that remaining faithful to the Spirit-relationship is primary. The opportunity for Spirit-led eldering is often unex-pected. We need to be prepared by our discipline & practice to carry out Spirit-led eldering. Sandra Cronk emphasizes that eldering’s purpose isn’t to prove another wrong, but to move toward greater faithfulness together.
From the early gathered Quaker community, mature, spiritually-grounded persons emerged as guides. These discerning Friends began to live out the eldering function. They were called elders as a term for their function, not as an office they filled. In time individuals within meetings were assigned responsibility for maintaining Friends’ values and the distinctive Quaker way of life. These individuals became over-vigilant, caught up in hierarchy, criticalness, and heavy-handedness. The authentic affirmation and the positive power of Spirit-led truth-telling and plain-speaking have been essential to my spiritual journey.
Early Examples of Eldering—John Richardson was approached by William Penn after speaking at length in meeting for worship. Penn said that they “were willing and easy to give way to this Truth.” This is an example of mentoring and evoking gifts. In the early 18th century, there were “overseers that carried out the eldering function,” guided by queries and prayerful discernment, [resulting in either] letters of repentance or removal from formal membership in the meeting. Samuel Bownas followed Quaker customs of dress and attended worship, but in his heart he cared much more for pleasure. [He was specifically called to account by a young minister, and felt like Saul on the road to Damascus; it turned his life around and inspired him to ministry]. I see this admonishment as righteous judgment and correction that flowed out of a Spirit-led ministry.
Does the Spirit's authority break through our social conventions for its own purposes in ways we haven’t yet understood? Are we open & receptive to such possibilities? What I find compelling & inspiring about early Friends' lives of is their mutual and active desire to be accountable for the spiritual health, nurture, and behavior of members, attenders and the meeting as a whole. A Friends meeting is intended to be so much more than a loose association of individuals on separate and private spiritual journeys. We let go of the idea that we have only private lives and hold ourselves accountable to the authority of the Spirit in the life of the meeting.
[In a dispute between Friends over water rights, where one Friend dammed up the waterway, many methods were tried to resolve the dispute, including the classical Biblical ones. One of the Friends asked:] What could possibly be done that would likely have the desired effect? It “was presented to him that he should go wash his neighbor’s feet.” [He himself resisted the idea, as did his neighbor, but they finally submitted and a great, lasting change came over them both, far beyond settling the water rights dispute].
[Queries]: To what extent are we willing to give priority to creating and maintaining right relationship with the Spirit and with each other? Are we open to inspiration leading to unfamiliar and extraordinary acts? Can we go beyond what seems fair and right in an ordinary way? Do we look 1st to changing ourselves with restoration and healing? How are we being challenged?
Eldering Today—The implications of Spirit-led eldering are based on a concern for the wholeness of the person and the meeting. [Eldering based solely on the “usual order” of the meeting takes away the freedom of the Spirit and comes off as a reprimand]. If there are strong negative reactions, they may be eldering, or they may be strong responses to a personal need. Encounters like that inspired a minute that called us to listen, hear, and be open to any genuine, heartfelt messages of a person’s spiritual journey.
Spiritual discernment allows for reflective space between the perception of the need for eldering and the actual carrying out of the eldering function. Spirit-led eldering strives to include whole persons and whole situations, accepted and understood in their fullness. The eldering function is more effective when it does not unnecessarily stir up defensiveness and hurt. It is equally important for eldering persons to remain faithful to their leadings and not to base their approaches solely on the anticipated response of the recipients.
Comments made at the rise of meeting are simply that—comments. The eldering function in depth requires a deep and intimate exchange that includes finding out what the situation is like for the person being eldered. The [full] process would provide participants with an opportunity to engage each other, in person, and in the Spirit. The important point is to remain open to the Spirit and to let our imaginations and creativity be touched by it so that we may be led to meet the occasion appropriately and helpfully. [Once, when many spoke and there was little or no worshipful time between speaking], I found myself standing up, remaining wordless for a time; standing has historic precedent among Friends.
The power of being spirit-led can lead us to behave in a creative way unique to the assembled body and to the moment. Our behavior in a similar situation should not be repeated simply because it has been helpful in the past. A large meeting I was attended designated ½ an hour at each monthly meeting for business to be spent listening to individuals’ concerns or witness on same-gender commitments.
The process continued for 1 ½ years, with 7 years of discussion preceding it. People opened up and found themselves saying things about themselves they hadn’t realized before. A sense of the meeting finally emerged, with a persistent voice of opposition. The clerk reminded us that arriving at the sense of the meeting did not require unanimity; we approved a minute and came to closure. In this process Friends sought to accept and understand each other’s human experience, even when they did not agree.
Queries—[In the face of unaware & repetitive comments in opposition to the sense of the meeting], is a forceful “Sit down” an appropriate interruption & helpful to the meeting? Was there a missed opportunity for nurturing & discernment prior to the actual business session to relate to the disagreeing Friend?
Special Opportunities for Eldering: Transfer of Membership—Friends have beliefs, principles, testimonies, & processes to consider & explore. The meeting for membership process presents numerous opportunities to practice Spirit-led eldering, including accountability. Here it is concerned with beginning to nurture a deep connection, understanding & trust in the Spirit. After 2 years of sojourning at a new meeting, I was contacted by a member of their membership committee. She shared the concern that I should move to membership as soon as I was spiritually ready [to leave my Washington D. C. meeting after 33 years]. Her meeting with me showed that the meeting was aware & caring & faithful to its responsibilities. Showing this kind of respect, dignity, and value for what may need to happen in a critical and caring process is essential for meaningful eldering.
Queries—As we meet in an appropriate time & space, do we have in mind 1st to listen, to understand, & to accept the other person’s present situation? Are we prepared for an outcome of either mutual agreement or mutual disagreement? Are we mindful of & turned to the Spirit throughout our exchange?
Application for Membership—The process of application for membership can be a unique opportunity to explore in depth hard questions about faith and other matters that are germane to Quaker faith and practice. A scientist came to meeting who appeared to feel that the meeting for worship was fertile ground to win people over to his perspective. He met with a group at the clerk’s home and [shared at length his life story of religious faith, betrayal, and his finding salvation in science]. When the clerk shared her own experience with Quaker faith and practice, he listened in disbelief and abruptly left the house. Although Friends would have welcomed further dialogue and relationship with him, he chose to leave.
Queries—Can we give priority to finding the energy and time for an extended eldering process when it seems called for? How are we nurturing our capacity for plain speaking that emerges from the clear, centered, and caring place in which we are empowered to do this kind of eldering? Are we ready to trust the Spirit and give up expectations about outcomes? Are we willing to provide a rigorous membership process that brings applicants to their own understanding of Friends’ faith and practice, and provides a solid beginning to their experience in the meeting?
Nominating Committee/ How to Elder—[In the nominating process, with deadlines & shortage of candidates], it is tempting to use a secular approach to get the job done. The committee has the opportunity to discern gifts & leadings of individuals & offer [positions] that fit appropriately for the benefit of the person & the meeting. [When done this way the committee may call itself] “a committee for the discovery of gifts & leadings.” Using such a process, there is a greater likelihood of committee work being in line with the Spirit & the meeting’s spiritual life. Nominating committees may encourage formation of small groups for gift-discernment.
Queries—How may each of us seek to do inner work needed to become more prepared, ready to respond to others in the Spirit's service in our community? How are we paying attention, blessing, calling forth, & nurturing our own & each other’s gifts as we support the work of the nominating committee?
What do people say when they are eldering? There is no 1 dialogue, no 1 way to speak, no 1 context in which eldering happens. We reach out to others from this spiritual consciousness with desire to hold all in alignment with Spirit. Eldering is most deeply effective when work is done from a spiritual consciousness, regardless of any annoyance or anger that may have led up to it. The eldering function flows out of our sensitivity to inner guidance & spiritual perception. One needs to be careful not to let preconceived ideas close off awareness.
The Internal Dialogue—A basic assumption underlying Spirit-led eldering is that the same Light is in all; that Light in one person may answer the Light in another. When one is led to live out the eldering function, a dialog in which one listens and responds to the authority of the Inner Light is primary.
Queries—Where is the Spirit in this matter? Am I coming from a centered place? Am I open to continual discernment and guidance? Am I prepared [to love, to affirm as well as confront], to embrace both the substance and shadow within the person and relate to that totality, not just to the particular concern? Is my desire to be right or to make the situation right? Am I clear that eldering is for supporting one another in keeping with the Spirit out of which good order comes, not to bring change? Am I sufficiently receptive & attentive to the Spirit that I am ready to be used as an instrument, in whatever unusual way opens? Are there times when I know to wait until a problem behavior by repetition clearly becomes a fault?
The intention of Spirit-led eldering is for both persons to be in right relationship with each other. Isaac Penington’s queries for troubled relationships include: “Is the thing or things which thou hast against him fully so as thou apprehendest? Hast thou seen evil in him, or to break forth from him? Hast thou … in tender love and meekness of spirit, laid the thing before him? Hast thou tenderly mentioned to others, and desired them to go with thee to him, that what is evil and offensive in him might be more weightily and advantageously laid before him for his humbling and recovery? If thou has let in any hardness of spirit, or hard reasonings against him, the witness of God will not justify thee in that.
Listening/ The Mystery of Eldering—Douglas Steere wrote: “To ‘listen’ another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another.” “Human listening then becomes what it is: a preciously thin point in the membrane where the human and divine action can be felt to mingle.” There is a God-given knowing and wisdom within each of us to be brought forth. The listener gives up expectations about outcome and simply trusts. As we discern our places within the eldering process, we are frequently led to be nondirective, [but we must still] remain open to being called to more directive or forceful approaches as the Spirit works through us in unpredictable ways.
For me, eldering is not so much something we do as it is something we are. When eldering is mindful of whether persons, circumstances, and situations are in or not in alignment with the Spirit, then we can be guided to function accordingly. We take great risks in allowing any worshiper to offer spoken ministry in meeting for worship and in our commitment to love each other as part of our meeting.
Today among Friends, we find considerable concern that any desire to elder first goes to a committee. With equal soundness, a concerned person may wish to turn to other meeting structures mentioned here for the same desire. The most important thing is our intention to be Spirit-led & to stay connected & nurtured by our faith community. Ron Selleck wrote: Both an unspiritual, [rigid] rigor and unspiritual laxity are destructive of life.”
The Spirit will bless our investment in the life of the meeting and our expectation that ways will open. During the surprising, disarming times, a connection is made with God-given wisdom and insight, [and Truth is conveyed]. The Spirit may also break through in wonderfully admonishing [and surprising] ways, through surprising people. Our awareness of God breaking through and discovering ourselves in a moment of alignment with the Spirit is an indefinable, uncontrollable and unpredictable mystery.
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436. Spreading the Fire: Challenging and Encouraging Friends through Travel in the Ministry (By Debbie Humphries; 2015)
About the Author—Debbie Humphries grew up Mormon & came to Quakerism in the early 1990's. Since then she been a member of Ithaca, Charleston, and Hartford (currently]; in NY, Southern Appalachian, and New England (NE) YM's respectively. She is currently clerk of the Ministry and Counsel Committee of NEYM. Debbie teaches at the Yale School of Public Health and conducts research in nutrition and community health.
Prologue/ Introduction—When visiting far from where I live, midweek opportunities were [often] all I could offer. Myself & a friend serving as elder, & 2 members from the host meeting were there. I listened for whether there was something to share. After asking permission, I placed my hands on their heads & blessed them with words & Spirit that flowed. After 8 years of traveling in ministry, this was a new experience in ministry.
Traveling in the ministry is a particularly Quaker tradition of the spiritual path. For early Quakers, this travel was at 1st evangelical in nature. I share my own story of following the prompting of the Divine to travel in the ministry to support this living movement [among] Friends today [by]: providing stories for those called to travel; encouraging meetings contacted by a traveling minister to trust the Quaker tradition. I pray that my ministry in traveling and writing and throughout my life can provide encouragement and challenge to others.
The Call and Preparation for Ministry—During our 1st NEYM, some 700-plus Quakers celebrated the 350th annual session. We worshiped in the historic Newport Meeting House. I felt myself shaking and a message rising: As Quakers, we are heirs to a powerful tradition. Today we are a pale shadow of who we are called to be. This transformative experience set me on an internal journey to more closely following the promptings of the Spirit. [I proceeded with encouragement and support from a broad base].
Personal Preparation—I started making time for an hour meditation and worship every morning, & I read voraciously about the fire & vitality of early Friends & writing by Friends of other eras [e.g. John Woolman, Ho-ward Brinton, Thomas Kelly, & Samuel Bownas. My morning time has remained a critical source of encouragement and challenge through the years. The spring following worship and my vocal ministry at Newport meeting house, John and I were invited to attend the Emerging Ministries Retreat at Woolman Hill Quaker Conference Center in MA. I told my small group I felt called to the Friends tradition of traveling in the ministry.
Once one's meeting has clarity in someone's leading to travel in ministry, the clerk writes a travel minute, which is given to the person. The minute serves as a letter of introduction & an affirmation of the person's spiritual gifts. Daughters of Light, Wilt Thou Go on My Errand & On Resistance & Obedience to God are 2 books about women traveling ministers. My 1st visits were ad hoc, making opportunities to worship with other meetings whenever they arose. In our family travels, we visited meetings all over the country. Even though I came late to the Colorado Springs meeting, I was called by the Spirit to share, We are not called to transform the world; we are called to transform ourselves.
Support from the Quaker Community—I asked a few seasoned Friends from Hartford to sit with me regularly. I needed help making sure I wasn't running ahead of or behind my leading. I felt a nudge to do 10 retreats in 10 months, in hopes of a greater awareness of the motion of the Spirit in my body and a better ability to listen and interpret that motion. I stayed at a Benedictine abbey, joined a group silent retreat, took several individual retreats, and concluded the year backpacking along the Appalachian Trail in CT. My support committee provided a space to reflect on what I was learning in these retreats and to seek feedback and guidance.
I took 2 Earlham School of Religion's online courses: Christianity's history; Introduction to Preaching. I felt the Spirit moving as I sat with choices of topics. I knew I was to write a letter about the resurrection to the Apostle Paul from the Corinth Church's Ministry & Counsel Committee. I learned to think more about stories & how to hear & use stories in a loving & community-building. I was led to ask Hartford Meeting for oversight of my ministry to reflect the meeting's ownership of the ministry. The meeting wasn't in unity to provide oversight, but wanted to make sure I had the support I needed. I had been visiting as an individual Friends & talking with individuals. I was now feeling the need to gather with meetings as a whole. For that I needed a travel minute. My leading was described as "her concern is to deepen the spiritual life of the Religious Society of Friends, to re-awaken us to experience the vitality & power of the Spirit, & to remind Friends of the truths of our tradition." The CT Valley QM & the Permanent Board of the NEYM approved it; the minute is still active.
Traveling in New England (2005-2012)—During the 1st 8 years I wrote to every New England meeting; I visited all that chose to have me. I visited meetings in 1 of NEYM's 8 QMs each year. I sought worship outside the regular meeting for worship, to be led by the Spirit in the moment, without pre-discerned focus. I wonder whether the meetings' discussion around my request helped foster expectation among those who worshiped with me. Several Friends shared excitement about participating in a old tradition which they had not experienced.
Personal Challenges—The biggest challenges for me were the personal lessons & growth from a particular lesson or across a series of lessons that had to happen for me to learn my own process of being faithful. The lessons were: It's not about me; let go of expectations; trust the Spirit; wallowing in inadequacies and failure; listen for what I'm carrying. When I reluctantly asked for meeting support, it was about the ministry, not me. When people responded gratefully to words I'd been led to share in worship, it was a response to Spirit, not me.
When Friends expected "a workshop on worship," rather than just worship, I struggled to let go of that expectation, & instead listened for how the Spirit was moving. I have learned to trust & wait for what the Spirit leads me to share. Once I was led to talk about the Bible & treating the stories there as people's stories of their experience of the Divine, which seemed well-received. A week or so before a ministry engagement, I was pulled into a deeply felt awareness of all the ways I fell short as teacher, Quaker, & vessel for God. I learned that: "The work of preparing for ministry ... is to get the ego out of the way to be a more faithful & consistent instrument."
Over and over again I have been challenged to hear and respond to the many different ways in which leadings and the motion of the Spirit come. [After I had done some lackluster sharing in a forum], I realized that I needed to express the reflection of love that I had been carrying in the weeks prior to the visit. When given a forum, I needed to share as led, not necessarily as planned or requested.
Openings into Truth—Quakerism is a tradition that encourages us to walk with our deepest questions, & to believe that we can be answered. Who am I? How should I be living? What is my relationship to God & earth? Today we are successors to this tradition which tells us that openings to the Divine happens here & now, if we are open. In addition to answers, early Friends also experienced openings, those truths that came unbidden. I believe that much of early Friends' success is that they spoke truths they knew in their bones, & those truths resonated with listeners, who by accepting those truths were transformed. Questions grab me & I wrestle with them. What does God's safety look like? What is the kingdom of heaven here & now? What is the tree of knowledge of good & evil in Genesis? Many truths come in worship, but they come in other places as well. The following are truths I recognize in my bones: God's safety; yes & no; reframing the trinity; Seeing the war anew.
Jeremiah was told: "Fear none of them, for I am with you & will keep you safe." Yet, Jeremiah was beaten, imprisoned, & made an outcast & exile." This statement came at Arcadia meeting: God's promise of safety is no more & no less than the promise that there will always be a path of integrity & we won't be alone. At Yarmouth Preparative Meeting on Cape Cod, the message came: If "no" isn't an option, our "yes" becomes meaningless. For the "yes" to be meaningful, we need to be ready to make people uncomfortable, to use serious discernment in our Quaker culture. Each of us has to understand both at the individual & at the meeting level that a "no" isn't a rejection or criticism, but rather an honest statement of where the community is. We believe that we're faithful, unbiased, & loving people. It's hard for us to accept the reality that we're also conflicted, prejudiced, and flawed.
At the retreat center at Olney Friends School in Barnesville, Ohio, I woke up several times [one night] with an image of physics & light, & how scientists experience light depending on how they measure it. Perhaps the same is true of the Divine: If we approach in one way, then we experience a particle. If we approach a different way, we experience a wave. [If we examine the apparent source of light, like the sun, that is a different experience]. [The trinity can be a] metaphor for how we experience God: God as a particle is a transcendent other, a father; God as a wave is an immanent presence, a holy spirit; [God as an apparent worldly source] is other human and nonhuman beings, a son. Each of these dimensions of the Divine can be seen as true and as incomplete.
An opening came to me in Hartford Meeting worship: war's philosophy is that the ends justifies the means. The end never justifies the means, because we can't know the end, [the future]. To achieve an end that speaks of wholeness & love, the means must embody wholeness & love. Since we can never know the end, we need the faith to release the ends, & to focus [on the means and] on whether our lives and actions speak of wholeness and love. The insight about ends and means changed my world view and continues to pervade my professional life.
Spiritual Conditions of New England Friends Today—I now offer observations of patterns among Friends, and seek to encourage and challenge Friends by describing what I have witnessed in my visits: Being Quakers is often central to our personal sense of identity. Our hunger to do good work is often thwarted by our desire for comfort. Few of us put our spiritual journeys at the center of our lives.
People would often describe experiences of coming into meeting for worship and feeling that they had come home or had felt the vibrant, living presence of the Divine. Time and again, I have been encouraged by small meetings where those present were committed to being Quaker, felt themselves to be Quaker, and savored a tender and sweet spirit in their midst. We are all new to Friends, and it has little to do with how much time someone has spent hanging around Quakers. I have given voice to something that rings true in my bones before I can get there rationally. The depths of this tradition are profound, but we tend to skate on the surface [most of the time]. Without a personal experience of [deep], immediate guidance, it can be difficult to fully understand these practices, leaving Friends to follow the forms without the moving of the Spirit.
Our hunger for comfort keeps us closer to the world around us than we would like to be, [in spite of] an undercurrent of a deep hunger for good work. That hunger for meaningful, daily work, ministry that challenges us is the motion of the Spirit working within us. Northrup Frye writes: "A life divided only between dull work and distracted play is not life but ... a waiting for death ..." War is a rich and enlivening experience because it requires challenge. We are afraid of change, sticking with situations that don't work because we know them, rather than taking risks. We don't often turn to God's everlasting arms after we've lost every other option. [We construct] a barrier of comfort, possessions and relationships [that stifles] spiritual growth.
The connection to the Eternal Presence is a transformative experience; around that connection, the traditions of Friends grew up. Individual Friends have touched, waded, & swum in a living vital stream of the Divine. It is through immersing ourselves in the living stream at [a distinctly] Quaker "beach" that we will be able to be Quakerism's message, & own for ourselves the experience of that originating fire. A living, vital tradition is dependent on the presence of a number of Friends who continue to walk to, wade, & swim at the Quaker beach. In my journal I write: "[We who] are grafted in to the Religious Society of Friends ... need to learn and understand what it means to sink our roots into this tradition. It is much more than sitting in meeting on Sunday. We need to learn more about the Quakers that have come before, and to make the Judeo-Christian heritage our own."
Conclusion/ Epilogue—I remember the feeling in [meeting rooms around the country]. Growing out of that feeling in those rooms is an immense respect, honor, and love for people right where they are. The world is exactly right and perfect right now and simultaneously there's so much work to be done. The opportunity to travel among Friends in this way has been a gift. I hope that other Friends will consider whether they are led to similar travel, and that meetings will be aware of and open to the traveling ministry tradition.
I haven't asked about my travels' impact on others, as those are the Spirit's fruits, & not mine to carry. As I lived into the leadings given to me in this process, I was being made more whole. I feel deeply about the importance of travel in ministry to the Quaker tradition, for the individuals traveling & the meetings visited. [For myself], I trust that the Spirit has made use of my service. I think back to my 1st opportunity to travel with my new travel minute. Could I listen to the Spirit? What were people expecting? What if I didn't have anything to share? No message came, but we all left on Sunday with a sense of what travel in the ministry might mean.
Appendix 1: Queries for individuals—How have you been challenged in your spiritual journey? Where have you found encouragement? How have you met those challenges? What openings have you experienced? How do you listen to the Divine and embody the Divine in your life? What ministry are you led to?
Prologue/ Introduction—When visiting far from where I live, midweek opportunities were [often] all I could offer. Myself & a friend serving as elder, & 2 members from the host meeting were there. I listened for whether there was something to share. After asking permission, I placed my hands on their heads & blessed them with words & Spirit that flowed. After 8 years of traveling in ministry, this was a new experience in ministry.
Traveling in the ministry is a particularly Quaker tradition of the spiritual path. For early Quakers, this travel was at 1st evangelical in nature. I share my own story of following the prompting of the Divine to travel in the ministry to support this living movement [among] Friends today [by]: providing stories for those called to travel; encouraging meetings contacted by a traveling minister to trust the Quaker tradition. I pray that my ministry in traveling and writing and throughout my life can provide encouragement and challenge to others.
The Call and Preparation for Ministry—During our 1st NEYM, some 700-plus Quakers celebrated the 350th annual session. We worshiped in the historic Newport Meeting House. I felt myself shaking and a message rising: As Quakers, we are heirs to a powerful tradition. Today we are a pale shadow of who we are called to be. This transformative experience set me on an internal journey to more closely following the promptings of the Spirit. [I proceeded with encouragement and support from a broad base].
Personal Preparation—I started making time for an hour meditation and worship every morning, & I read voraciously about the fire & vitality of early Friends & writing by Friends of other eras [e.g. John Woolman, Ho-ward Brinton, Thomas Kelly, & Samuel Bownas. My morning time has remained a critical source of encouragement and challenge through the years. The spring following worship and my vocal ministry at Newport meeting house, John and I were invited to attend the Emerging Ministries Retreat at Woolman Hill Quaker Conference Center in MA. I told my small group I felt called to the Friends tradition of traveling in the ministry.
Once one's meeting has clarity in someone's leading to travel in ministry, the clerk writes a travel minute, which is given to the person. The minute serves as a letter of introduction & an affirmation of the person's spiritual gifts. Daughters of Light, Wilt Thou Go on My Errand & On Resistance & Obedience to God are 2 books about women traveling ministers. My 1st visits were ad hoc, making opportunities to worship with other meetings whenever they arose. In our family travels, we visited meetings all over the country. Even though I came late to the Colorado Springs meeting, I was called by the Spirit to share, We are not called to transform the world; we are called to transform ourselves.
Support from the Quaker Community—I asked a few seasoned Friends from Hartford to sit with me regularly. I needed help making sure I wasn't running ahead of or behind my leading. I felt a nudge to do 10 retreats in 10 months, in hopes of a greater awareness of the motion of the Spirit in my body and a better ability to listen and interpret that motion. I stayed at a Benedictine abbey, joined a group silent retreat, took several individual retreats, and concluded the year backpacking along the Appalachian Trail in CT. My support committee provided a space to reflect on what I was learning in these retreats and to seek feedback and guidance.
I took 2 Earlham School of Religion's online courses: Christianity's history; Introduction to Preaching. I felt the Spirit moving as I sat with choices of topics. I knew I was to write a letter about the resurrection to the Apostle Paul from the Corinth Church's Ministry & Counsel Committee. I learned to think more about stories & how to hear & use stories in a loving & community-building. I was led to ask Hartford Meeting for oversight of my ministry to reflect the meeting's ownership of the ministry. The meeting wasn't in unity to provide oversight, but wanted to make sure I had the support I needed. I had been visiting as an individual Friends & talking with individuals. I was now feeling the need to gather with meetings as a whole. For that I needed a travel minute. My leading was described as "her concern is to deepen the spiritual life of the Religious Society of Friends, to re-awaken us to experience the vitality & power of the Spirit, & to remind Friends of the truths of our tradition." The CT Valley QM & the Permanent Board of the NEYM approved it; the minute is still active.
Traveling in New England (2005-2012)—During the 1st 8 years I wrote to every New England meeting; I visited all that chose to have me. I visited meetings in 1 of NEYM's 8 QMs each year. I sought worship outside the regular meeting for worship, to be led by the Spirit in the moment, without pre-discerned focus. I wonder whether the meetings' discussion around my request helped foster expectation among those who worshiped with me. Several Friends shared excitement about participating in a old tradition which they had not experienced.
Personal Challenges—The biggest challenges for me were the personal lessons & growth from a particular lesson or across a series of lessons that had to happen for me to learn my own process of being faithful. The lessons were: It's not about me; let go of expectations; trust the Spirit; wallowing in inadequacies and failure; listen for what I'm carrying. When I reluctantly asked for meeting support, it was about the ministry, not me. When people responded gratefully to words I'd been led to share in worship, it was a response to Spirit, not me.
When Friends expected "a workshop on worship," rather than just worship, I struggled to let go of that expectation, & instead listened for how the Spirit was moving. I have learned to trust & wait for what the Spirit leads me to share. Once I was led to talk about the Bible & treating the stories there as people's stories of their experience of the Divine, which seemed well-received. A week or so before a ministry engagement, I was pulled into a deeply felt awareness of all the ways I fell short as teacher, Quaker, & vessel for God. I learned that: "The work of preparing for ministry ... is to get the ego out of the way to be a more faithful & consistent instrument."
Over and over again I have been challenged to hear and respond to the many different ways in which leadings and the motion of the Spirit come. [After I had done some lackluster sharing in a forum], I realized that I needed to express the reflection of love that I had been carrying in the weeks prior to the visit. When given a forum, I needed to share as led, not necessarily as planned or requested.
Openings into Truth—Quakerism is a tradition that encourages us to walk with our deepest questions, & to believe that we can be answered. Who am I? How should I be living? What is my relationship to God & earth? Today we are successors to this tradition which tells us that openings to the Divine happens here & now, if we are open. In addition to answers, early Friends also experienced openings, those truths that came unbidden. I believe that much of early Friends' success is that they spoke truths they knew in their bones, & those truths resonated with listeners, who by accepting those truths were transformed. Questions grab me & I wrestle with them. What does God's safety look like? What is the kingdom of heaven here & now? What is the tree of knowledge of good & evil in Genesis? Many truths come in worship, but they come in other places as well. The following are truths I recognize in my bones: God's safety; yes & no; reframing the trinity; Seeing the war anew.
Jeremiah was told: "Fear none of them, for I am with you & will keep you safe." Yet, Jeremiah was beaten, imprisoned, & made an outcast & exile." This statement came at Arcadia meeting: God's promise of safety is no more & no less than the promise that there will always be a path of integrity & we won't be alone. At Yarmouth Preparative Meeting on Cape Cod, the message came: If "no" isn't an option, our "yes" becomes meaningless. For the "yes" to be meaningful, we need to be ready to make people uncomfortable, to use serious discernment in our Quaker culture. Each of us has to understand both at the individual & at the meeting level that a "no" isn't a rejection or criticism, but rather an honest statement of where the community is. We believe that we're faithful, unbiased, & loving people. It's hard for us to accept the reality that we're also conflicted, prejudiced, and flawed.
At the retreat center at Olney Friends School in Barnesville, Ohio, I woke up several times [one night] with an image of physics & light, & how scientists experience light depending on how they measure it. Perhaps the same is true of the Divine: If we approach in one way, then we experience a particle. If we approach a different way, we experience a wave. [If we examine the apparent source of light, like the sun, that is a different experience]. [The trinity can be a] metaphor for how we experience God: God as a particle is a transcendent other, a father; God as a wave is an immanent presence, a holy spirit; [God as an apparent worldly source] is other human and nonhuman beings, a son. Each of these dimensions of the Divine can be seen as true and as incomplete.
An opening came to me in Hartford Meeting worship: war's philosophy is that the ends justifies the means. The end never justifies the means, because we can't know the end, [the future]. To achieve an end that speaks of wholeness & love, the means must embody wholeness & love. Since we can never know the end, we need the faith to release the ends, & to focus [on the means and] on whether our lives and actions speak of wholeness and love. The insight about ends and means changed my world view and continues to pervade my professional life.
Spiritual Conditions of New England Friends Today—I now offer observations of patterns among Friends, and seek to encourage and challenge Friends by describing what I have witnessed in my visits: Being Quakers is often central to our personal sense of identity. Our hunger to do good work is often thwarted by our desire for comfort. Few of us put our spiritual journeys at the center of our lives.
People would often describe experiences of coming into meeting for worship and feeling that they had come home or had felt the vibrant, living presence of the Divine. Time and again, I have been encouraged by small meetings where those present were committed to being Quaker, felt themselves to be Quaker, and savored a tender and sweet spirit in their midst. We are all new to Friends, and it has little to do with how much time someone has spent hanging around Quakers. I have given voice to something that rings true in my bones before I can get there rationally. The depths of this tradition are profound, but we tend to skate on the surface [most of the time]. Without a personal experience of [deep], immediate guidance, it can be difficult to fully understand these practices, leaving Friends to follow the forms without the moving of the Spirit.
Our hunger for comfort keeps us closer to the world around us than we would like to be, [in spite of] an undercurrent of a deep hunger for good work. That hunger for meaningful, daily work, ministry that challenges us is the motion of the Spirit working within us. Northrup Frye writes: "A life divided only between dull work and distracted play is not life but ... a waiting for death ..." War is a rich and enlivening experience because it requires challenge. We are afraid of change, sticking with situations that don't work because we know them, rather than taking risks. We don't often turn to God's everlasting arms after we've lost every other option. [We construct] a barrier of comfort, possessions and relationships [that stifles] spiritual growth.
The connection to the Eternal Presence is a transformative experience; around that connection, the traditions of Friends grew up. Individual Friends have touched, waded, & swum in a living vital stream of the Divine. It is through immersing ourselves in the living stream at [a distinctly] Quaker "beach" that we will be able to be Quakerism's message, & own for ourselves the experience of that originating fire. A living, vital tradition is dependent on the presence of a number of Friends who continue to walk to, wade, & swim at the Quaker beach. In my journal I write: "[We who] are grafted in to the Religious Society of Friends ... need to learn and understand what it means to sink our roots into this tradition. It is much more than sitting in meeting on Sunday. We need to learn more about the Quakers that have come before, and to make the Judeo-Christian heritage our own."
Conclusion/ Epilogue—I remember the feeling in [meeting rooms around the country]. Growing out of that feeling in those rooms is an immense respect, honor, and love for people right where they are. The world is exactly right and perfect right now and simultaneously there's so much work to be done. The opportunity to travel among Friends in this way has been a gift. I hope that other Friends will consider whether they are led to similar travel, and that meetings will be aware of and open to the traveling ministry tradition.
I haven't asked about my travels' impact on others, as those are the Spirit's fruits, & not mine to carry. As I lived into the leadings given to me in this process, I was being made more whole. I feel deeply about the importance of travel in ministry to the Quaker tradition, for the individuals traveling & the meetings visited. [For myself], I trust that the Spirit has made use of my service. I think back to my 1st opportunity to travel with my new travel minute. Could I listen to the Spirit? What were people expecting? What if I didn't have anything to share? No message came, but we all left on Sunday with a sense of what travel in the ministry might mean.
Appendix 1: Queries for individuals—How have you been challenged in your spiritual journey? Where have you found encouragement? How have you met those challenges? What openings have you experienced? How do you listen to the Divine and embody the Divine in your life? What ministry are you led to?
Queries for meetings—How does the meeting encourage and nurture individual gifts of ministry? Are there individuals in your meeting in whom you see gifts of ministry growing?
Appendix 2:[Copy of Travel Minute]
Appendix 3: Nuts and Bolts—My specific suggestion are: Be flexible; Talk with meetings to help them prepare; Pay attention to the details; Elders and companions. After a while I learned to ask for a forum-type venue, and then accepted gratefully whatever the meeting could arrange. I have offered ministry before meeting; for 5 minutes after meeting; Saturday nights; after meeting; at weekday lunches and dinners. After sending a letter, I wait a while and then follow up with a phone call to the clerk. We heard numerous stories of the struggles meetings had with my letter. In the phone conversation, I explained that my priority throughout the visits was to be faithful to the promptings of the Spirit, and that this is how early Friends traveled.
I was once late because I didn't bring a watch or cellphone with. Bill Taber said that the Spirit's motion, & the words that come, often come through emotions & includes tears; bring a handkerchief. Some people need to find a quiet place to decompress after speaking; some need an elder or companion. I have always tried to have someone as "elder" to offer support & hold me & those gathered in prayer, and help me stay accountable to the leadings of the Spirit. A few times I worked with an elder-at-a-distance, someone who could accompany me in Spirit. What was [most] important for me was the sharing and reflections after a visit. Had I been faithful?
Queries—What is the value of traveling ministry to a meeting and its members? Do you have a call or leading in your own life that you perceive as a ministry? What is an oversight committee? A support committee? What has your experience been with meeting decisions that are different from your personal hopes? What are the pros and cons of the often long time-frame of the Quaker decision-making process? What are the question you walk with and wrestle with today? How do you experience God? How much is your desire to do good works thwarted by your desire for comfort?
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428. Spiritual Accompaniment: An Experience of Two Friends Traveling in the Ministry (by Cathy Walling & Elaine Emily; 2014)
About the Authors—Cathy Walling is a member of Chena Ridge Friends Meeting (Fairbanks, AK). She has been recognized as having gifts of Spirit-led eldering since 2002; a traveling minister recognized & called out those gifts. Cathy feels rightly used by the Spirit in this work. Elaine Emily is a seasoned Friend from Strawberry Creek Meeting (Berkeley, CA). She has traveled extensively as a spiritual companion & elder, accompanying many Friends in their service as traveling ministers; she has led workshops in eldering, and is living under a concern for eldering, and on the many ways this practice is being rediscovered among Friends today.
[Introduction]—Me as an elder was certainly not a way I had ever thought about myself. Jan Hoffman called out those gifts & asked for my eldering support in liberating the ministry she had been given for our meeting. Eldering has fallen out of use by Friends for many generations, but recently has started to be revived. Margery Larrabee has written that eldering is: "offering spiritual leadership, which is to support & encourage the life of the Spirit in or raise helpful questions & explore with an individual or group how they may be more faithful to the Spirit. It is the well-grounded intention & attitude of a compassionate heart & mind, led by Spirit." Some Quakers are uneasy about reviving this Quaker tradition [and its past abuses]. Other Friends are embracing return to a tradition that helps Friends support one another in their efforts to be faithful.
I have companioned Friends who served as traveling ministers. I longed to read accounts of the Quaker [companion-]elders from earlier centuries. It was ministers who wrote most historical Quaker journals we have today. They made infrequent mention of spiritual accompaniment or eldering support. I find myself led to share from the entries I made during 3 weeks as an elder accompanying Elaine Emily. This essay is a joint project. Elaine & Cathy wrote it together; both have offered their reflections. It is written in Cathy's 1st person voice.
Prelude—I flew to Alaska for a summer job and discovered my spiritual home. In January 2006, our family traveled to Australia. We attended 4 of 7 days of the Australian Quakers' Yearly Meeting (YM) gathering. Our daughters so enjoyed connecting with Australian Quaker children that they yearned for, [indeed demanded more the next year]. In 2007, Scott and I led a couple enrichment workshop. Australia Yearly Meeting's annual session usually begins on Sunday with an educational "summer school" day. That "summer school class" meets several times the rest of the week. There is an all-gathering meeting for worship on Sunday. The week was filled with many other planned events. The extent of organization and structure was quite new to me.
My question "Where are the elders?" continued to arise internally. I had a chance for a heart-to-heart exchange with Sheila Keane, when I talked about some of my eldering experiences. I heard in her a longing to elder. It was an "opportunity, a time of unprogrammed worship held any time or place, sometimes without human planning." I wondered what it would be like to share Elaine's gifts with Aussie Friends; this leading took root.
Preparation Phase—Through emails with Sheila & Helen Bayes, I heard affirmations to ask Elaine whether she might travel to Australia to share experiences of eldering. I asked her in person, and she was as joyful and delighted as I was at the thought of such an opportunity and felt a seed being planted. Elaine brought this to her oversight committee for further seasoning. This committee was supporting Elaine in staying faithful to the work God was calling her to, & was keeping her grounded in her monthly meeting. Meanwhile, I had a clearness committee, found clearness, and a support committee was convened to anchor this ministry in my meeting.
Sheila and Helen worked on a proposal for the Australia YM Standing Committee (AYMSC) in July 2007. We wanted to hold a retreat at the gathering. AYMSC wanted to use the 2008 gathering as a "venue for discernment." Nonetheless, they invited us. We offered a workshop titled "Spiritual Nurture and Rediscovering Eldering." AYM would also facilitate Elaine's visits to different regions of Australia for any regional meeting (RM) that invited her after YM. Elaine experienced no emotions or expectations [through the stormy and calm times of preparation], just a noticing of the journey. I received my leadings in preparation for this ministry one step at a time, often while cross-country skiing; way opened and there was no sense of burden. Both of our committees requested travel minutes from our monthly meetings. As we traveled in the ministry in Australia, we presented our travel minutes in each place and received the meeting's written endorsement.
Action Phase: December 26, 2007-January 3, 2008—We departed the United States, traveling 14 and 26 hours from California & Alaska respectively. Within 10 minutes of arriving, an Australian Friend was sharing meeting problems & worry about their effect on YM. I asked "Where is God in all of this?" I smiled with the sense that God wasn't wasting any time in putting us to work. I had pre-arranged a stay at a Meeting House cottage for recovery from jet lag, prayer time, & preparation. Reflection: God often inserts unexpected opportunities [to minister] during travel time, & provides resources when we are depleted. We were supported by Blue Mountain Friends & had our 1st morning worship time there, [with nature providing vocal ministry]. Reflection: We tried to have a daily meeting for worship, invited others, and tried to stay focused on the traveling ministry.
1/2/08 (Reflection): Friends traveling in ministry often experience other Friends opening up & sharing important information. The Clerk from Japan YM told her spiritual story one evening. Katherine of Canberra Regional Meeting (RM) offered us hospitality. I was invited to do a radio talk on couple enrichment, but I needed to keep my focus on this Australian visit's primary purpose. I declined the invitation. Reflection: Elaine was traveling for the 1st time as minister rather than elder. The primary focus was her ministry around the eldering topic.
It turned out Elaine needed to be alone in the morning, so I ended up giving the talk. Reflection: Elaine and I were settling into our role as minister and elder. The elder helps draw the minister's message out [as a kind of "midwife]." My job was to listen, support, affirm what sounded right for the workshop, offer cautions, and hold the workshop in prayer [the Light]. We often found that one had been awake in the night and the other had slept. Both us still felt refreshed from the night.
Action Phase: January 4-January 9, 2008—The next morning Elaine needed to be protected from the potential spiritual drain of a Friend's emotional need. That needy Friend's dog and Elaine's allergies made it prudent for Elaine to ride in the other car, without offending the needy Friend. Reflection: Time with needy or difficult people can help bring out the message to be drawn out of the minister. Individuals' emotional or spiritual needs can exhaust the minister. This particular Friend had gifts of ministry that were not being supported and she was making an unskilled called for help, which she has since received.
We arrived at the YM venue in Melborne; our workshop was the only one already full, and there was a waiting list. This felt like divine affirmation and at the same time quite humbling. Our workshop grew from 15 to 24. Elaine had a room on one side of me, and Sally Kingsland, a Canberra Friend [of previous acquaintance] on the other side. Sally gave me spiritual support & practical support in dealing with the extreme heat. Reflection: Sally's support of me during the week felt like a beautiful example of elders supporting elders, often with tangible practical assistance; her eldering gifts were specifically named 4 years later.
Sunday morning during the all-gathering meeting for worship I began feeling ministry rising in me from the ocean depths of worship. Nervously I shared the importance of planting out spiritual taproots deeply. I offered a prayer that we would tend those roots faithfully and assist others in that tending. Reflection: This was one of the grace-filled times during our trip when I was called into vocal ministry and Elaine anchored me. Many people think the elder must remain silent, but hasn't been our experience.
Our workshop met under hot, windowless conditions. Folks in the lobby space relocated because our open door disrupted them; we moved into their space. Reflection: Sometimes the elder's role is attending to physical needs so the minister is able to deliver the message and so those gathered are able to hear, and adjusting to changing circumstances to best support the liberation of the message. I focused on spiritual anchoring for her and the group. Elaine ask someone else to also hold the group in worship/[the Light]. [She asked for examples of informal eldering experiences, gave past and recent history of eldering in the US, and made a homework assignment of the question]: "How is God/Spirit moving in your life?"
I popped right up from the depths of spiritually grounding Elaine, thinking I should move into external support mode. Elaine called me back to attend to her. The experience left me disoriented. Elaine said: [The disorientation is] the spiritual bends," i.e. the experience of coming up from the "ocean floor" too quickly with-out taking time to reacclimatized to surface conditions. We needed to take 5 to 10 minutes to make the transition. While Elaine ministered in the next session regarding gifts, I remained "below the words" in support. This time we made the transition. Reflections: "Below the words" describes [what I feel while I hold] the minister & gathered group in prayer ... like holding the gathering in a bowl of divine Love and Light. I often don't specifically hear what is being said, but can sense the Spirit. [It can be deep, sweet worship, different from other worship].
In the 3rd session, another Friend offered to hold the group and later shared his experience with the group. Elaine had each person in a small group hold one another in the Light. Elaine named my sitting in prayer and holding the group for 6 hours as an essential piece of eldering and of her being able to do what she was doing. She said we were spiritually yoked. She was the more visible and vocal part; I was the spiritually grounding. Reflection: Yokemates names those working together in service to the Spirit to liberate the message. Eldering provides fuller, richer, truer liberation of the message for the community's benefit. After the 3rd session we both felt the joy of being rightly used, and I was exhausted—physically and spiritually. Elaine was surprised by how easily the sessions and energy had flowed, by [how hard people tried to attend].
On Monday morning we attended "Quaker Voices in the 21st century." Elaine spoke of FGC youth ministry program & of vibrant young adult ministry. During our 50-minute summer school session Monday afternoon, Elaine spoke about personal preparation of body, mind & spirit for doing the Spirit's work. I named to Elaine the importance of gathering with Friends from each RM Elaine would be visiting. Informal meetings happened around mealtimes. Reflection: Elders often facilitate logistics in providing a space for the ministry to unfold.
On Tuesday morning I had a spiritual discipline of reflecting on the day before 1st thing in the morning. Breakfasting with a young adult Friend & listening to her spiritual journey led to her asking if I would clerk a listening session between representatives of a RM & young Friends; it didn't seem spiritually right. We learned she was concerned about not feeling listened to by the regional meeting. We offered to attend as spiritual support; that felt right. I sat next to the young Friend, holding her & the group in prayer. The 2 groups heard how each group had faithfully discerned their way & had arrived at opposite decisions on a sensitive issue. The Spirit-led nature of the 2 discernment processes was evident, & Elaine's ministry was: "Sometimes we are called to live with the paradox, & not focus on the apparent contradictions." Elaine & I were thanked for our palpable spiritual grounding presence. Reflection: Sometimes visiting Friends provide a unique perspective on a conflict situation. We could hold the group in prayer while remaining emotionally detached from the specific content.
I noticed the group's interest in Elaine's oversight committee and suggested she sign up for "share-'n-tell" (interest group). We asked someone from the summer school group to provide additional eldering support, so that I could serve more as an assistant facilitator. Another Friend from our summer school group joined us that evening for our preparation time; [Elaine complained about it]. Later in Canberra RM, this Friend was able to speak regarding [some of the behind-the-scenes preparation that] are paramount to faithfulness. Reflection: This felt like one of the few instances where Elaine unloaded on me, and I just held it. I heard an emotional download with an spiritual set of ears while yoked in a spiritual piece of work, and was given guidance in how to respond. I had the clear sense that while we didn't understand why the Friend joined us, she was supposed to be there.
40 people gathered to hear Elaine's "What the Hell is Oversight?" I felt pulled deeper into worship to hold Elaine more tenderly. A couple of times Elaine needed an anchor thread from me, that is a vocal prompt [e.g.] "submit & surrender." Reflections: The traveling minister often prepares [for a message] by spending time in prayer & contemplation; [the Spirit's "response" may come at any time of the day]. "Anchor threads" may serve to assist the minister in releasing the message's next piece. I was mindful of the need for daily walks to tend the physical body, move the energy, while doing this spiritual work. We called these our "discernment walks."
Queries: What are the differences and common features between elders, minsters, and overseers? Where does pastoral care fit into this framework? Where is the balance between speaking truth & keeping quiet, trusting to the sense of the meeting? Should [elderwork] be done "unofficially?" What sort of resistance is there to eldering and how should it be handled? How does an elder get eldered?
Action Phase: January 10-11—In the early hours of Thursday morning, I had the sense of a message taking form. God was referring me to earlier journal entries, in particular a time when a seasoned elder from Cleveland eldered me. [It was only now] that I named that experience as an elder eldering an elder. Reflection: Referring back to earlier journal entries helps call forth an experience for the new learning in the present. We both recognized that this was a day to trade places. We were kept busy with sending family emails, & meeting with a RM up until my time to speak. The ministry came forth with tears & was mostly in the form of stories in response to questions on eldering the group. [I shared the Cleveland story]. I explained what I did sitting next to Elaine. The gist & hardest part of the message was that while it might have been important to focus inwardly & be wary of strangers, if too much caution persisted, it was going to get in the way of having rich experiences. I sat down with my eyes closed, too spiritually naked to be able to handle Friends approaching me right away.
Reflection: My experience with voicing hard truths is that voicing them risks separation, injury,& estrangement rather than a positive outcome. The same risks exist in the failure to voice them. A container of love must be prepared for voicing the message; it helps the message be heard & received in the same spirit. "Love without truth is sentimentality & truth without love is violence." AYM has been enriched by bringing in Friends from other YMs. The Australia Quaker center, Silver Wattle, has been established to serve the same needs as Pendle Hill, Woodbrooke & other centers around the world. I felt tired and my feet were buzzing. We took a walk. I did not feel that my delivery was polished or neatly presented. I did feel that I had delivered as faithfully as I could under the circumstances, and I could rest in the peace that comes from knowing that.
Reflection: [I was reminded to pay attention to this experience for future reference when I am eldering]. [My] ministering image of a kite flying higher than it ever had (without floating away) was only possible because of the solid, firm grounding, and prayerful support that 2 elders provided me. [I was asked about rocking during meeting, I am usually not aware of it]. Perhaps the rocking settles the spiritual energy, like rocking a baby settles the baby. Perhaps it is a physical mantra.
Reflection: Physical manifestations of the Spirit Elaine and I have experienced include: tears, rocking, shaking, quaking, buzzing, heart palpitations, giddiness, burping, ringing in the ears, goose bumps and sweating. On Friday, I returned to the eldering support function for Elaine at our final session. We briefly checked in with each other after this final session and felt okay. Elaine met with a young Friend regarding mystical and psychic experiences, while I gave eldering support to a Friend making a report.
Recovery Phase: January 12-16/ Epilogue—At the close of YM, Sally drove Elaine & me to our "recovery venue," the artist's retreat home of Tess Edwards & Lloyd Godman in Melbourne's outskirts. While driving there, Elaine became teary & emotional; she was depleted. I wondered if this teary experience might have been avoided if we had taken time apart from everyone on Friday. [Considering all we had done], I then wondered if the letdown was somewhat inevitable. Reflection: The one sorrow I have around AYM 2008 is our choice of the recovery space afterwards. It was a space lovingly created; the hosts & the space radiated healing presence.
Reflection: Elaine broke down emotionally again. Any social interaction was too much at that point. She wasn't getting enough quiet, unstructured, recovery time, cocooning, swaddled in eldering support, and she desperately needed it. The early Quaker Joseph Hoag, wrote of feeling naked as the old jaybird when he came home from delivering faithful ministry. He experienced feeling rightly used and then stripped of his skin, not having any protective covering. [What came after] listening to Elaine and to God, was to ask to be driven to the Melbourne meeting house accommodation early in the next day to have more quiet time together before my departure. After asking, I felt a wave of peace descend. Reflection: Elaine reflected on how elders need other elders for support; [a 2nd elder would have been helpful for YM ministry].
Our final 2 days together at the Melbourne Meeting apartment provided the needed cocooning time; mostly it was just the 2 of us, Elaine got the "womb time" she needed. I assisted Elaine's preparation for her next phase. She would traveling around the country for 3 1/2 weeks, calling forth the eldering assistance she needed from among people she would be serving. I don't think Elaine or I anticipated how much I would still be eldering for her after I left Australia. I held Elaine in my prayers, and often prayed for her during her eldering sessions. I listened to Elaine debrief, reflect, and describe her journey. Reflection: It has been interesting to approach the concept of long distance prayer support more intentionally. When I've asked for it, I feel the difference that prayer support makes. I return to a place of thanksgiving and joy for travel in ministry with Elaine, for the various learnings along the way, the apparent door closings and window openings, for the spiritual seeds that were planted, for the fruits already born, and now through remembering and writing about our experiences, sharing the story with the wider world. Joy is available to us when we listen and follow God's call.
Queries—How can the Quaker practice of traveling ministry strengthen the meetings involved as well as the individual who is traveling under a sense of leading? Why is a [companion-elder] important to a traveling minister? What are the different roles of minister and elder? How do elders provide support? What is your experience with prayer? What does it mean to be faithful? How does the elder get eldered? Why is keeping a journal valuable to you?
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347 Tall Poppies: Supporting Gifts of Ministry & Eldering in Monthly Meeting (by Martha Paxson Grundy; 1999)
Appendix 2:[Copy of Travel Minute]
Appendix 3: Nuts and Bolts—My specific suggestion are: Be flexible; Talk with meetings to help them prepare; Pay attention to the details; Elders and companions. After a while I learned to ask for a forum-type venue, and then accepted gratefully whatever the meeting could arrange. I have offered ministry before meeting; for 5 minutes after meeting; Saturday nights; after meeting; at weekday lunches and dinners. After sending a letter, I wait a while and then follow up with a phone call to the clerk. We heard numerous stories of the struggles meetings had with my letter. In the phone conversation, I explained that my priority throughout the visits was to be faithful to the promptings of the Spirit, and that this is how early Friends traveled.
I was once late because I didn't bring a watch or cellphone with. Bill Taber said that the Spirit's motion, & the words that come, often come through emotions & includes tears; bring a handkerchief. Some people need to find a quiet place to decompress after speaking; some need an elder or companion. I have always tried to have someone as "elder" to offer support & hold me & those gathered in prayer, and help me stay accountable to the leadings of the Spirit. A few times I worked with an elder-at-a-distance, someone who could accompany me in Spirit. What was [most] important for me was the sharing and reflections after a visit. Had I been faithful?
Queries—What is the value of traveling ministry to a meeting and its members? Do you have a call or leading in your own life that you perceive as a ministry? What is an oversight committee? A support committee? What has your experience been with meeting decisions that are different from your personal hopes? What are the pros and cons of the often long time-frame of the Quaker decision-making process? What are the question you walk with and wrestle with today? How do you experience God? How much is your desire to do good works thwarted by your desire for comfort?
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428. Spiritual Accompaniment: An Experience of Two Friends Traveling in the Ministry (by Cathy Walling & Elaine Emily; 2014)
About the Authors—Cathy Walling is a member of Chena Ridge Friends Meeting (Fairbanks, AK). She has been recognized as having gifts of Spirit-led eldering since 2002; a traveling minister recognized & called out those gifts. Cathy feels rightly used by the Spirit in this work. Elaine Emily is a seasoned Friend from Strawberry Creek Meeting (Berkeley, CA). She has traveled extensively as a spiritual companion & elder, accompanying many Friends in their service as traveling ministers; she has led workshops in eldering, and is living under a concern for eldering, and on the many ways this practice is being rediscovered among Friends today.
[Introduction]—Me as an elder was certainly not a way I had ever thought about myself. Jan Hoffman called out those gifts & asked for my eldering support in liberating the ministry she had been given for our meeting. Eldering has fallen out of use by Friends for many generations, but recently has started to be revived. Margery Larrabee has written that eldering is: "offering spiritual leadership, which is to support & encourage the life of the Spirit in or raise helpful questions & explore with an individual or group how they may be more faithful to the Spirit. It is the well-grounded intention & attitude of a compassionate heart & mind, led by Spirit." Some Quakers are uneasy about reviving this Quaker tradition [and its past abuses]. Other Friends are embracing return to a tradition that helps Friends support one another in their efforts to be faithful.
I have companioned Friends who served as traveling ministers. I longed to read accounts of the Quaker [companion-]elders from earlier centuries. It was ministers who wrote most historical Quaker journals we have today. They made infrequent mention of spiritual accompaniment or eldering support. I find myself led to share from the entries I made during 3 weeks as an elder accompanying Elaine Emily. This essay is a joint project. Elaine & Cathy wrote it together; both have offered their reflections. It is written in Cathy's 1st person voice.
Prelude—I flew to Alaska for a summer job and discovered my spiritual home. In January 2006, our family traveled to Australia. We attended 4 of 7 days of the Australian Quakers' Yearly Meeting (YM) gathering. Our daughters so enjoyed connecting with Australian Quaker children that they yearned for, [indeed demanded more the next year]. In 2007, Scott and I led a couple enrichment workshop. Australia Yearly Meeting's annual session usually begins on Sunday with an educational "summer school" day. That "summer school class" meets several times the rest of the week. There is an all-gathering meeting for worship on Sunday. The week was filled with many other planned events. The extent of organization and structure was quite new to me.
My question "Where are the elders?" continued to arise internally. I had a chance for a heart-to-heart exchange with Sheila Keane, when I talked about some of my eldering experiences. I heard in her a longing to elder. It was an "opportunity, a time of unprogrammed worship held any time or place, sometimes without human planning." I wondered what it would be like to share Elaine's gifts with Aussie Friends; this leading took root.
Preparation Phase—Through emails with Sheila & Helen Bayes, I heard affirmations to ask Elaine whether she might travel to Australia to share experiences of eldering. I asked her in person, and she was as joyful and delighted as I was at the thought of such an opportunity and felt a seed being planted. Elaine brought this to her oversight committee for further seasoning. This committee was supporting Elaine in staying faithful to the work God was calling her to, & was keeping her grounded in her monthly meeting. Meanwhile, I had a clearness committee, found clearness, and a support committee was convened to anchor this ministry in my meeting.
Sheila and Helen worked on a proposal for the Australia YM Standing Committee (AYMSC) in July 2007. We wanted to hold a retreat at the gathering. AYMSC wanted to use the 2008 gathering as a "venue for discernment." Nonetheless, they invited us. We offered a workshop titled "Spiritual Nurture and Rediscovering Eldering." AYM would also facilitate Elaine's visits to different regions of Australia for any regional meeting (RM) that invited her after YM. Elaine experienced no emotions or expectations [through the stormy and calm times of preparation], just a noticing of the journey. I received my leadings in preparation for this ministry one step at a time, often while cross-country skiing; way opened and there was no sense of burden. Both of our committees requested travel minutes from our monthly meetings. As we traveled in the ministry in Australia, we presented our travel minutes in each place and received the meeting's written endorsement.
Action Phase: December 26, 2007-January 3, 2008—We departed the United States, traveling 14 and 26 hours from California & Alaska respectively. Within 10 minutes of arriving, an Australian Friend was sharing meeting problems & worry about their effect on YM. I asked "Where is God in all of this?" I smiled with the sense that God wasn't wasting any time in putting us to work. I had pre-arranged a stay at a Meeting House cottage for recovery from jet lag, prayer time, & preparation. Reflection: God often inserts unexpected opportunities [to minister] during travel time, & provides resources when we are depleted. We were supported by Blue Mountain Friends & had our 1st morning worship time there, [with nature providing vocal ministry]. Reflection: We tried to have a daily meeting for worship, invited others, and tried to stay focused on the traveling ministry.
1/2/08 (Reflection): Friends traveling in ministry often experience other Friends opening up & sharing important information. The Clerk from Japan YM told her spiritual story one evening. Katherine of Canberra Regional Meeting (RM) offered us hospitality. I was invited to do a radio talk on couple enrichment, but I needed to keep my focus on this Australian visit's primary purpose. I declined the invitation. Reflection: Elaine was traveling for the 1st time as minister rather than elder. The primary focus was her ministry around the eldering topic.
It turned out Elaine needed to be alone in the morning, so I ended up giving the talk. Reflection: Elaine and I were settling into our role as minister and elder. The elder helps draw the minister's message out [as a kind of "midwife]." My job was to listen, support, affirm what sounded right for the workshop, offer cautions, and hold the workshop in prayer [the Light]. We often found that one had been awake in the night and the other had slept. Both us still felt refreshed from the night.
Action Phase: January 4-January 9, 2008—The next morning Elaine needed to be protected from the potential spiritual drain of a Friend's emotional need. That needy Friend's dog and Elaine's allergies made it prudent for Elaine to ride in the other car, without offending the needy Friend. Reflection: Time with needy or difficult people can help bring out the message to be drawn out of the minister. Individuals' emotional or spiritual needs can exhaust the minister. This particular Friend had gifts of ministry that were not being supported and she was making an unskilled called for help, which she has since received.
We arrived at the YM venue in Melborne; our workshop was the only one already full, and there was a waiting list. This felt like divine affirmation and at the same time quite humbling. Our workshop grew from 15 to 24. Elaine had a room on one side of me, and Sally Kingsland, a Canberra Friend [of previous acquaintance] on the other side. Sally gave me spiritual support & practical support in dealing with the extreme heat. Reflection: Sally's support of me during the week felt like a beautiful example of elders supporting elders, often with tangible practical assistance; her eldering gifts were specifically named 4 years later.
Sunday morning during the all-gathering meeting for worship I began feeling ministry rising in me from the ocean depths of worship. Nervously I shared the importance of planting out spiritual taproots deeply. I offered a prayer that we would tend those roots faithfully and assist others in that tending. Reflection: This was one of the grace-filled times during our trip when I was called into vocal ministry and Elaine anchored me. Many people think the elder must remain silent, but hasn't been our experience.
Our workshop met under hot, windowless conditions. Folks in the lobby space relocated because our open door disrupted them; we moved into their space. Reflection: Sometimes the elder's role is attending to physical needs so the minister is able to deliver the message and so those gathered are able to hear, and adjusting to changing circumstances to best support the liberation of the message. I focused on spiritual anchoring for her and the group. Elaine ask someone else to also hold the group in worship/[the Light]. [She asked for examples of informal eldering experiences, gave past and recent history of eldering in the US, and made a homework assignment of the question]: "How is God/Spirit moving in your life?"
I popped right up from the depths of spiritually grounding Elaine, thinking I should move into external support mode. Elaine called me back to attend to her. The experience left me disoriented. Elaine said: [The disorientation is] the spiritual bends," i.e. the experience of coming up from the "ocean floor" too quickly with-out taking time to reacclimatized to surface conditions. We needed to take 5 to 10 minutes to make the transition. While Elaine ministered in the next session regarding gifts, I remained "below the words" in support. This time we made the transition. Reflections: "Below the words" describes [what I feel while I hold] the minister & gathered group in prayer ... like holding the gathering in a bowl of divine Love and Light. I often don't specifically hear what is being said, but can sense the Spirit. [It can be deep, sweet worship, different from other worship].
In the 3rd session, another Friend offered to hold the group and later shared his experience with the group. Elaine had each person in a small group hold one another in the Light. Elaine named my sitting in prayer and holding the group for 6 hours as an essential piece of eldering and of her being able to do what she was doing. She said we were spiritually yoked. She was the more visible and vocal part; I was the spiritually grounding. Reflection: Yokemates names those working together in service to the Spirit to liberate the message. Eldering provides fuller, richer, truer liberation of the message for the community's benefit. After the 3rd session we both felt the joy of being rightly used, and I was exhausted—physically and spiritually. Elaine was surprised by how easily the sessions and energy had flowed, by [how hard people tried to attend].
On Monday morning we attended "Quaker Voices in the 21st century." Elaine spoke of FGC youth ministry program & of vibrant young adult ministry. During our 50-minute summer school session Monday afternoon, Elaine spoke about personal preparation of body, mind & spirit for doing the Spirit's work. I named to Elaine the importance of gathering with Friends from each RM Elaine would be visiting. Informal meetings happened around mealtimes. Reflection: Elders often facilitate logistics in providing a space for the ministry to unfold.
On Tuesday morning I had a spiritual discipline of reflecting on the day before 1st thing in the morning. Breakfasting with a young adult Friend & listening to her spiritual journey led to her asking if I would clerk a listening session between representatives of a RM & young Friends; it didn't seem spiritually right. We learned she was concerned about not feeling listened to by the regional meeting. We offered to attend as spiritual support; that felt right. I sat next to the young Friend, holding her & the group in prayer. The 2 groups heard how each group had faithfully discerned their way & had arrived at opposite decisions on a sensitive issue. The Spirit-led nature of the 2 discernment processes was evident, & Elaine's ministry was: "Sometimes we are called to live with the paradox, & not focus on the apparent contradictions." Elaine & I were thanked for our palpable spiritual grounding presence. Reflection: Sometimes visiting Friends provide a unique perspective on a conflict situation. We could hold the group in prayer while remaining emotionally detached from the specific content.
I noticed the group's interest in Elaine's oversight committee and suggested she sign up for "share-'n-tell" (interest group). We asked someone from the summer school group to provide additional eldering support, so that I could serve more as an assistant facilitator. Another Friend from our summer school group joined us that evening for our preparation time; [Elaine complained about it]. Later in Canberra RM, this Friend was able to speak regarding [some of the behind-the-scenes preparation that] are paramount to faithfulness. Reflection: This felt like one of the few instances where Elaine unloaded on me, and I just held it. I heard an emotional download with an spiritual set of ears while yoked in a spiritual piece of work, and was given guidance in how to respond. I had the clear sense that while we didn't understand why the Friend joined us, she was supposed to be there.
40 people gathered to hear Elaine's "What the Hell is Oversight?" I felt pulled deeper into worship to hold Elaine more tenderly. A couple of times Elaine needed an anchor thread from me, that is a vocal prompt [e.g.] "submit & surrender." Reflections: The traveling minister often prepares [for a message] by spending time in prayer & contemplation; [the Spirit's "response" may come at any time of the day]. "Anchor threads" may serve to assist the minister in releasing the message's next piece. I was mindful of the need for daily walks to tend the physical body, move the energy, while doing this spiritual work. We called these our "discernment walks."
Queries: What are the differences and common features between elders, minsters, and overseers? Where does pastoral care fit into this framework? Where is the balance between speaking truth & keeping quiet, trusting to the sense of the meeting? Should [elderwork] be done "unofficially?" What sort of resistance is there to eldering and how should it be handled? How does an elder get eldered?
Action Phase: January 10-11—In the early hours of Thursday morning, I had the sense of a message taking form. God was referring me to earlier journal entries, in particular a time when a seasoned elder from Cleveland eldered me. [It was only now] that I named that experience as an elder eldering an elder. Reflection: Referring back to earlier journal entries helps call forth an experience for the new learning in the present. We both recognized that this was a day to trade places. We were kept busy with sending family emails, & meeting with a RM up until my time to speak. The ministry came forth with tears & was mostly in the form of stories in response to questions on eldering the group. [I shared the Cleveland story]. I explained what I did sitting next to Elaine. The gist & hardest part of the message was that while it might have been important to focus inwardly & be wary of strangers, if too much caution persisted, it was going to get in the way of having rich experiences. I sat down with my eyes closed, too spiritually naked to be able to handle Friends approaching me right away.
Reflection: My experience with voicing hard truths is that voicing them risks separation, injury,& estrangement rather than a positive outcome. The same risks exist in the failure to voice them. A container of love must be prepared for voicing the message; it helps the message be heard & received in the same spirit. "Love without truth is sentimentality & truth without love is violence." AYM has been enriched by bringing in Friends from other YMs. The Australia Quaker center, Silver Wattle, has been established to serve the same needs as Pendle Hill, Woodbrooke & other centers around the world. I felt tired and my feet were buzzing. We took a walk. I did not feel that my delivery was polished or neatly presented. I did feel that I had delivered as faithfully as I could under the circumstances, and I could rest in the peace that comes from knowing that.
Reflection: [I was reminded to pay attention to this experience for future reference when I am eldering]. [My] ministering image of a kite flying higher than it ever had (without floating away) was only possible because of the solid, firm grounding, and prayerful support that 2 elders provided me. [I was asked about rocking during meeting, I am usually not aware of it]. Perhaps the rocking settles the spiritual energy, like rocking a baby settles the baby. Perhaps it is a physical mantra.
Reflection: Physical manifestations of the Spirit Elaine and I have experienced include: tears, rocking, shaking, quaking, buzzing, heart palpitations, giddiness, burping, ringing in the ears, goose bumps and sweating. On Friday, I returned to the eldering support function for Elaine at our final session. We briefly checked in with each other after this final session and felt okay. Elaine met with a young Friend regarding mystical and psychic experiences, while I gave eldering support to a Friend making a report.
Recovery Phase: January 12-16/ Epilogue—At the close of YM, Sally drove Elaine & me to our "recovery venue," the artist's retreat home of Tess Edwards & Lloyd Godman in Melbourne's outskirts. While driving there, Elaine became teary & emotional; she was depleted. I wondered if this teary experience might have been avoided if we had taken time apart from everyone on Friday. [Considering all we had done], I then wondered if the letdown was somewhat inevitable. Reflection: The one sorrow I have around AYM 2008 is our choice of the recovery space afterwards. It was a space lovingly created; the hosts & the space radiated healing presence.
Reflection: Elaine broke down emotionally again. Any social interaction was too much at that point. She wasn't getting enough quiet, unstructured, recovery time, cocooning, swaddled in eldering support, and she desperately needed it. The early Quaker Joseph Hoag, wrote of feeling naked as the old jaybird when he came home from delivering faithful ministry. He experienced feeling rightly used and then stripped of his skin, not having any protective covering. [What came after] listening to Elaine and to God, was to ask to be driven to the Melbourne meeting house accommodation early in the next day to have more quiet time together before my departure. After asking, I felt a wave of peace descend. Reflection: Elaine reflected on how elders need other elders for support; [a 2nd elder would have been helpful for YM ministry].
Our final 2 days together at the Melbourne Meeting apartment provided the needed cocooning time; mostly it was just the 2 of us, Elaine got the "womb time" she needed. I assisted Elaine's preparation for her next phase. She would traveling around the country for 3 1/2 weeks, calling forth the eldering assistance she needed from among people she would be serving. I don't think Elaine or I anticipated how much I would still be eldering for her after I left Australia. I held Elaine in my prayers, and often prayed for her during her eldering sessions. I listened to Elaine debrief, reflect, and describe her journey. Reflection: It has been interesting to approach the concept of long distance prayer support more intentionally. When I've asked for it, I feel the difference that prayer support makes. I return to a place of thanksgiving and joy for travel in ministry with Elaine, for the various learnings along the way, the apparent door closings and window openings, for the spiritual seeds that were planted, for the fruits already born, and now through remembering and writing about our experiences, sharing the story with the wider world. Joy is available to us when we listen and follow God's call.
Queries—How can the Quaker practice of traveling ministry strengthen the meetings involved as well as the individual who is traveling under a sense of leading? Why is a [companion-elder] important to a traveling minister? What are the different roles of minister and elder? How do elders provide support? What is your experience with prayer? What does it mean to be faithful? How does the elder get eldered? Why is keeping a journal valuable to you?
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347 Tall Poppies: Supporting Gifts of Ministry & Eldering in Monthly Meeting (by Martha Paxson Grundy; 1999)
About the Author—Marty Grundy was raised in a Friends family in eastern PA. Her interest in Quaker history continues to inform her vision of who Friends were & what we might become. This pamphlet draws together ideas from several YMs & individuals. The hope is that a local meeting, facing an emerging gift of ministry, might have tools for nurturing, supporting, & overseeing the ministry & the minister. [The pamphlet's title comes from the story of a Roman noble cutting off the heads of the tallest poppies in his garden in response to questions of what to do about a plebeian rebellion's leaders; meetings sometimes do that to those offering gifts of ministry]
[Introduction]—George Fox said of a big gathering in Wales in 1657: "... Many were turned that day to the Lord Jesus Christ & his free teaching, & all were bowed down under the power of God and parted peaceably and quietly with great satisfaction." Fox did not take credit for the Bible study or for answering the objections. It was God's power, not Fox's. When faced with God's power, Isaac Penington "gave up" and submitted to it. This is the proper human response when confronted with God's power. Francis Howgill echoed scripture when he first heard Fox speak: "This man speaks with authority and not as the scribes." The struggle of our self-power over God's power is one of the major issues of spiritual life as Friends have understood and experienced it.
God pours out a wide variety of gifts on the members of a meeting or church. This pamphlet focuses on the gifts understood as ministry & eldering. It holds up our Quaker tradition of recognizing ministers & elders, suggesting to meetings how to support and nurture ministry and the individual Friends through whom it comes. A brief discussion of financing ministry and a description of the meeting's responsibility in accepting gifts follows.
Relatively few people dedicate themselves and all areas of their lives to listening for and following God's will. [Those that do] all too often are made to feel unwelcome in and by their meeting and eventually leave it to find [a more welcoming worshipping community]. On a cosmic scale these few people glimpsed that God had created and ordered the universe into relationships that Friends termed "Gospel Order." This pamphlet is about the right order of relationships within a monthly meeting. The more critical gift is to be a channel through which the Inward Christ may speak to the spiritual condition of another, or speak prophetically against the evils of the day. London YM stated, "The purpose of all ministry is to lead the meeting into a closer communion with God, and into a fresh vision of the purposes God would have us pursue in seeking God's kingdom.
[Qualifications of and Competence in Ministry]—Fox said that if "ministers" have not Christ's spirit, they are none of God's," or "being bred at Oxford ... was not enough to fit and qualify men to be ministers of Christ." [One needs to go through] a process of personal transformation which reorients the ego, the will and the attention. Today, we would expect it to be a lifelong process, with an intention that moves [at an irregular pace and with backsliding] to bring more and more of one's life into conformity with divine will. Those given gifts of ministry must walk their talk in more and more of their lives. The narrow definition of ministry as speaking in meeting can be extended to a much wider variety of acts. Faithful ministers almost always develop a "competency," a means of employment which made it financially possible to leave home for long periods of time.
Robert Barclay said: "The principal & required qualifications [for ministers] are the power, life, & virtue of the Spirit, & the pure grace of God which comes from it." Isaac Penington said: "Therefore, watch, everyone, to feel & know ... [their] own place & service in the body, & to be sensible of the gifts, places, services of others ... honor the Lord ... [God's] appearances [in different people] & in the differences which ... [God] has made among ... [God's] people. God has given fathers & elders now; the babes & young men aren't equal with them."
We are all equally invited to receive God's love and guidance. Each of us has been given a measure of ability to hear and obey God to which we need to be faithful. Those who were given a larger measure were recognized as ministers or elders. Barclay said: "Teaching and exhorting ... are the special responsibility of those ... particularly called to the work of ministry. Yet the privilege is not exclusively theirs, but is common to others ... [anyone] may be moved to speak by the Spirit."
An elder is one "who has had experience with many Friends, and who has maintained an inner watchfulness, [who] provides a powerful connection with Truth for the minister or other Friend in the turmoil of leading, confusion, or temptation" [Brian Drayton]. London YM writes: "Elders are primarily concerned with the nurture of the spiritual life of the group as a whole and of its individual members, that all may become closer to God ... and may become more sensitive and obedient to God's will." Barclay writes: "The elders are not those who are moved to frequent testimony by declaration in words, they are mature in the experience of the blessed work of truth in their hearts. Their work is to watch over and privately admonish the young, and to take care of widows, the poor, and the fatherless and to see that they lack nothing." A Friend would never be both a minister and an elder. Often one person will function in one way then in the other, back and forth, as the Spirit leads.
RECOGNIZING MINISTERS AND ELDERS—A healthy meeting in the 18th century, & occasionally in our own century, would have seasoned, gifted, wise Friends, recognized & named to the stations of minister & elder. Traditionally, they noticed, named & nurtured gifts of vocal ministry, discernment, or spiritual companioning. They modeled changes in lifestyle that the "infant" minister's gift required. When the meeting's Ministry & Oversight [Counsel] Committee felt the time was ripe, it brought the gift to the attention of [a larger body of Quakers. If that body approved], the local body prayerfully considered it, [approved it], & recorded a minute [recognizing] the gift of ministry given to the meeting by a specific, named individual. Seasoned Friends, [consider], name & nurture emerging gifts; larger bodies discern & record them in a process of mutual accountability.
If ministers felt led to visit beyond their home meeting, they usually discussed it with other seasoned Friends, and then brought it to their monthly meeting for business. If the meeting was in unity with the visit and perhaps a [companion] Friend, the meeting will record one or two traveling minutes, which were presented to and endorsed by the meeting(s) visited. Upon their return to their monthly meetings, the travelers had their minutes read and recorded. Friends are experimenting with a variety of ways of testing leadings, [from individual decisions, to letters of introduction, to clearness committees].
Today, we prefer to talk in generalities about abstract qualities. We like to think of "supporting the ministry" rather than giving concrete help to a specific minister. Why does it matter that we have lost the corporate dimension of ministry? What might Friends do to reclaim our heritage? We are spiritually impoverished by not recognizing a gift as being given by God to the group. Dragging out tired, old practices won't help much to reclaim our heritage. If we listen intently, & humbly, God will open to us a way forward, with whatever permutations are necessary to make it speak with freshness to our current condition. We need to talk freely, frequently, & frankly about the reality and movement of the Inward Teacher who informs and leads Friends individually and as a body. Friends will learn, through experience, how to listen prayerfully, ask probing questions, and be open to the unity that can be experienced in God's presence. In God's time, gifts will begin to emerge. What qualities or gifts might Friends expect to see in someone blessed with gifts of eldering or ministry by the Holy Spirit?
The fruit of any life suffused with God's Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The specific leadings will vary considerably. But the inward work, and the outward fruit, should have a familiar feel of spiritual deepening, and humility, love, and trust in God. NC YM writes of elders' gifts as: "a considerable insight into character, an alert spiritual discernment, good judgment, and a fund of ready tact and open friendliness—all humbly dedicated to a deeply felt zeal for the spiritual growth of the Society, [purified by watchful prayer]." Whom do Friends turn to instinctively for counsel, mentoring, for spiritual direction? Who is drawn to help our children see God in the teachable moments of opportunity? How do we accept the gifts of those we would prefer to exclude?
A PROCESS FOR RECOGNIZING AND RECORDING GIFTS—The process needs:
The group to discern and reach unity that gifts for upbuilding faith community have been given.
The individual to be aware of the gift's weight, work to enable its right use and be open to correction.
The group to acknowledge the individual's life-transformation, and hold them accountable for right use.
Care of the gift includes listening to it, not tolerating spiritual jealousy, protect it from abuse.
While all Friends are equal, there is too often a negative attitude that adds, if anyone thinks they have a gift or calling, we'll pull that person down. [Is the "problem" with an individual's gift from the individual's arrogance or another's discomfort or resentment]? Seasoned Friends should encourage the individual, name the gifts they see, and help him or her articulate the emerging sense of leading. The individual needs to exchange some apparent independence for intentional servanthood, intend to be a good steward of the gift, and put it to the purposes God asks daily. A clearness committee should be appointed when an individual's gifts are discerned. The clearness committee meets as many times as needed, asking questions to help the potential minister become clear as to what their gifts are, and how they are being led to use them. [See next section for query examples].
[Clearness Committee and Monthly Meeting Queries]—How does your spiritual journey intersect with or exemplify the Quaker tradition? What are your spiritual gifts? How have they been offered to & received by the Friends in our meeting? In what ways have these gifts changed you? What temptations are there in using your gifts? How do you or would you utilize a mentor or elder? How do you react to different kinds of criticism from different people? What are your disciplines and prayer life like?
The meeting needs to see & name an individual's gifts, because the individuals can't always see themselves clearly, and because the gifts are given for the upbuilding of the group and must be recognized and received.
Monthly Meeting Queries—How have we experienced this person's ministry within our meeting? [What part of this person's humanness have we observed during their ministry; and how have they moved back into right relationship with God? How has the person reconciled strained, unhealed relationships; what is the meeting's role in this reconciliation? How will we perceive this person's ministry done outside the meeting in the meeting's name? How have the expectations for outside ministry been made clear to both individual and meeting? How do we discern that God is leading us to a clear sense of right action? How is this person rightly prepared and clear regarding the economic and family constraints on this ministry? The meeting should minute its understanding of the gift being given and whom it is given.
FINANCING MINISTRY—Though payment to traveling or [wider-world] ministers hardly ever appears in monthly meeting minutes, that does not mean that no money changed hands. Friends regularly slipped cash to other Friends who were traveling in the ministry. Barclay said: "It is lawful for them to accept food and clothing as far as they feel allowed by the Lord, and as far as they are freely and cordially given ... [But] fixed remuneration is far from being something that a true minister should aim for or expect ..." Philadelphia YM recommended that if a monthly meeting has unity with a Friend's concern to make a religious visit to other meeting within the YM, they should help defray any prohibitive costs of such visits; the quarterly meeting or YM should be involved with more wide-ranging visits. A wealthy Friend can make a direct gift to a visiting Friend without the visitor having a tax liability. Money received from a non-profit results in a tax liability.
How can a meeting support an enthusiastic Friend's favorite ministry project? There should be a clearness process, so that the meeting is clear that the individual Friend has heard God's instruction correctly, and that they continue to listen to God and neither run ahead or lag behind the Guide. In those cases where the meeting is slow, the minister's faithfulness in waiting for it to catch up brings better fruit in the end. Friends moving ahead on their own in ministry may ask other Friends, or their meeting to help, but if the meeting has not been invited into the clearness process, it has no formal responsibility for carrying the leading forward.
RECEIVING THE GIFT—Barriers to the meeting receiving an offered ministry include failure to honor a local prophet, spiritual envy, power struggles, apathy, secularization, individualism, past personal hurts, etc. I suggest that we be humbly open to what the Spirit might have to teach us from our tradition about acknowledging and naming ministers, and to be aware of what stumbling blocks we encounter or create.
Too often Friends tear down anyone who exhibit gifts that make them stand out. Meetings are seriously weakened when they are denied the right use of gifts God has provided. Those whom God is raising up as mentors, role models, and examples too rarely have the informed, prayerful support they need to function as fully as God would have them. Lloyd Lee Wilson writes: "While one doesn't want to allow scorn to distort one's ministry, negative feedback may mean there is something about one's delivery that is needlessly alienating certain people." One needs to hear both words of support and criticism. While some Friends undermine those with gifts in ministry and eldering, other Friends idolize them, replacing God with something that is not God.
Our firmly held assumption that the individual is of the highest value is a powerful block to the meeting's accepting God-given gifts of ministry and eldering. In our desperate scramble to engender good feelings we have denied the authority of our meetings to draw any boundaries. [After eldering someone who resists the truths given to the group], disownment, removal from membership but not necessarily attendance, was the response to someone who would not or could not live those truths.
Barclay, Bownas, Lloyd Lee Wilson & Patricia Loring are good resources for our traditions on how to identify & support those whom God raises up as ministers & elders. The raw material for our tradition can be found buried in journals, epistles, other writings, & our Quaker stories. [Earlier Friends] will tell you, in a variety of words and metaphor, that there is one, even Christ Jesus, who can speak to your condition. Our meetings have a great responsibility to be gatherings of people who are listening to the Inward Teacher, helping each other listen, and learning how to listen together. Barclay discovered a great "secret power" of meetings that: "as I gave way to it, I found the evil in me weakening, and the good lifted up. Thus it was that I was knit into them ... And I hungered for more and more for the increase of this power and life until I could feel myself perfectly redeemed."
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[Introduction]—George Fox said of a big gathering in Wales in 1657: "... Many were turned that day to the Lord Jesus Christ & his free teaching, & all were bowed down under the power of God and parted peaceably and quietly with great satisfaction." Fox did not take credit for the Bible study or for answering the objections. It was God's power, not Fox's. When faced with God's power, Isaac Penington "gave up" and submitted to it. This is the proper human response when confronted with God's power. Francis Howgill echoed scripture when he first heard Fox speak: "This man speaks with authority and not as the scribes." The struggle of our self-power over God's power is one of the major issues of spiritual life as Friends have understood and experienced it.
God pours out a wide variety of gifts on the members of a meeting or church. This pamphlet focuses on the gifts understood as ministry & eldering. It holds up our Quaker tradition of recognizing ministers & elders, suggesting to meetings how to support and nurture ministry and the individual Friends through whom it comes. A brief discussion of financing ministry and a description of the meeting's responsibility in accepting gifts follows.
Relatively few people dedicate themselves and all areas of their lives to listening for and following God's will. [Those that do] all too often are made to feel unwelcome in and by their meeting and eventually leave it to find [a more welcoming worshipping community]. On a cosmic scale these few people glimpsed that God had created and ordered the universe into relationships that Friends termed "Gospel Order." This pamphlet is about the right order of relationships within a monthly meeting. The more critical gift is to be a channel through which the Inward Christ may speak to the spiritual condition of another, or speak prophetically against the evils of the day. London YM stated, "The purpose of all ministry is to lead the meeting into a closer communion with God, and into a fresh vision of the purposes God would have us pursue in seeking God's kingdom.
[Qualifications of and Competence in Ministry]—Fox said that if "ministers" have not Christ's spirit, they are none of God's," or "being bred at Oxford ... was not enough to fit and qualify men to be ministers of Christ." [One needs to go through] a process of personal transformation which reorients the ego, the will and the attention. Today, we would expect it to be a lifelong process, with an intention that moves [at an irregular pace and with backsliding] to bring more and more of one's life into conformity with divine will. Those given gifts of ministry must walk their talk in more and more of their lives. The narrow definition of ministry as speaking in meeting can be extended to a much wider variety of acts. Faithful ministers almost always develop a "competency," a means of employment which made it financially possible to leave home for long periods of time.
Robert Barclay said: "The principal & required qualifications [for ministers] are the power, life, & virtue of the Spirit, & the pure grace of God which comes from it." Isaac Penington said: "Therefore, watch, everyone, to feel & know ... [their] own place & service in the body, & to be sensible of the gifts, places, services of others ... honor the Lord ... [God's] appearances [in different people] & in the differences which ... [God] has made among ... [God's] people. God has given fathers & elders now; the babes & young men aren't equal with them."
We are all equally invited to receive God's love and guidance. Each of us has been given a measure of ability to hear and obey God to which we need to be faithful. Those who were given a larger measure were recognized as ministers or elders. Barclay said: "Teaching and exhorting ... are the special responsibility of those ... particularly called to the work of ministry. Yet the privilege is not exclusively theirs, but is common to others ... [anyone] may be moved to speak by the Spirit."
An elder is one "who has had experience with many Friends, and who has maintained an inner watchfulness, [who] provides a powerful connection with Truth for the minister or other Friend in the turmoil of leading, confusion, or temptation" [Brian Drayton]. London YM writes: "Elders are primarily concerned with the nurture of the spiritual life of the group as a whole and of its individual members, that all may become closer to God ... and may become more sensitive and obedient to God's will." Barclay writes: "The elders are not those who are moved to frequent testimony by declaration in words, they are mature in the experience of the blessed work of truth in their hearts. Their work is to watch over and privately admonish the young, and to take care of widows, the poor, and the fatherless and to see that they lack nothing." A Friend would never be both a minister and an elder. Often one person will function in one way then in the other, back and forth, as the Spirit leads.
RECOGNIZING MINISTERS AND ELDERS—A healthy meeting in the 18th century, & occasionally in our own century, would have seasoned, gifted, wise Friends, recognized & named to the stations of minister & elder. Traditionally, they noticed, named & nurtured gifts of vocal ministry, discernment, or spiritual companioning. They modeled changes in lifestyle that the "infant" minister's gift required. When the meeting's Ministry & Oversight [Counsel] Committee felt the time was ripe, it brought the gift to the attention of [a larger body of Quakers. If that body approved], the local body prayerfully considered it, [approved it], & recorded a minute [recognizing] the gift of ministry given to the meeting by a specific, named individual. Seasoned Friends, [consider], name & nurture emerging gifts; larger bodies discern & record them in a process of mutual accountability.
If ministers felt led to visit beyond their home meeting, they usually discussed it with other seasoned Friends, and then brought it to their monthly meeting for business. If the meeting was in unity with the visit and perhaps a [companion] Friend, the meeting will record one or two traveling minutes, which were presented to and endorsed by the meeting(s) visited. Upon their return to their monthly meetings, the travelers had their minutes read and recorded. Friends are experimenting with a variety of ways of testing leadings, [from individual decisions, to letters of introduction, to clearness committees].
Today, we prefer to talk in generalities about abstract qualities. We like to think of "supporting the ministry" rather than giving concrete help to a specific minister. Why does it matter that we have lost the corporate dimension of ministry? What might Friends do to reclaim our heritage? We are spiritually impoverished by not recognizing a gift as being given by God to the group. Dragging out tired, old practices won't help much to reclaim our heritage. If we listen intently, & humbly, God will open to us a way forward, with whatever permutations are necessary to make it speak with freshness to our current condition. We need to talk freely, frequently, & frankly about the reality and movement of the Inward Teacher who informs and leads Friends individually and as a body. Friends will learn, through experience, how to listen prayerfully, ask probing questions, and be open to the unity that can be experienced in God's presence. In God's time, gifts will begin to emerge. What qualities or gifts might Friends expect to see in someone blessed with gifts of eldering or ministry by the Holy Spirit?
The fruit of any life suffused with God's Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The specific leadings will vary considerably. But the inward work, and the outward fruit, should have a familiar feel of spiritual deepening, and humility, love, and trust in God. NC YM writes of elders' gifts as: "a considerable insight into character, an alert spiritual discernment, good judgment, and a fund of ready tact and open friendliness—all humbly dedicated to a deeply felt zeal for the spiritual growth of the Society, [purified by watchful prayer]." Whom do Friends turn to instinctively for counsel, mentoring, for spiritual direction? Who is drawn to help our children see God in the teachable moments of opportunity? How do we accept the gifts of those we would prefer to exclude?
A PROCESS FOR RECOGNIZING AND RECORDING GIFTS—The process needs:
The group to discern and reach unity that gifts for upbuilding faith community have been given.
The individual to be aware of the gift's weight, work to enable its right use and be open to correction.
The group to acknowledge the individual's life-transformation, and hold them accountable for right use.
Care of the gift includes listening to it, not tolerating spiritual jealousy, protect it from abuse.
While all Friends are equal, there is too often a negative attitude that adds, if anyone thinks they have a gift or calling, we'll pull that person down. [Is the "problem" with an individual's gift from the individual's arrogance or another's discomfort or resentment]? Seasoned Friends should encourage the individual, name the gifts they see, and help him or her articulate the emerging sense of leading. The individual needs to exchange some apparent independence for intentional servanthood, intend to be a good steward of the gift, and put it to the purposes God asks daily. A clearness committee should be appointed when an individual's gifts are discerned. The clearness committee meets as many times as needed, asking questions to help the potential minister become clear as to what their gifts are, and how they are being led to use them. [See next section for query examples].
[Clearness Committee and Monthly Meeting Queries]—How does your spiritual journey intersect with or exemplify the Quaker tradition? What are your spiritual gifts? How have they been offered to & received by the Friends in our meeting? In what ways have these gifts changed you? What temptations are there in using your gifts? How do you or would you utilize a mentor or elder? How do you react to different kinds of criticism from different people? What are your disciplines and prayer life like?
The meeting needs to see & name an individual's gifts, because the individuals can't always see themselves clearly, and because the gifts are given for the upbuilding of the group and must be recognized and received.
Monthly Meeting Queries—How have we experienced this person's ministry within our meeting? [What part of this person's humanness have we observed during their ministry; and how have they moved back into right relationship with God? How has the person reconciled strained, unhealed relationships; what is the meeting's role in this reconciliation? How will we perceive this person's ministry done outside the meeting in the meeting's name? How have the expectations for outside ministry been made clear to both individual and meeting? How do we discern that God is leading us to a clear sense of right action? How is this person rightly prepared and clear regarding the economic and family constraints on this ministry? The meeting should minute its understanding of the gift being given and whom it is given.
FINANCING MINISTRY—Though payment to traveling or [wider-world] ministers hardly ever appears in monthly meeting minutes, that does not mean that no money changed hands. Friends regularly slipped cash to other Friends who were traveling in the ministry. Barclay said: "It is lawful for them to accept food and clothing as far as they feel allowed by the Lord, and as far as they are freely and cordially given ... [But] fixed remuneration is far from being something that a true minister should aim for or expect ..." Philadelphia YM recommended that if a monthly meeting has unity with a Friend's concern to make a religious visit to other meeting within the YM, they should help defray any prohibitive costs of such visits; the quarterly meeting or YM should be involved with more wide-ranging visits. A wealthy Friend can make a direct gift to a visiting Friend without the visitor having a tax liability. Money received from a non-profit results in a tax liability.
How can a meeting support an enthusiastic Friend's favorite ministry project? There should be a clearness process, so that the meeting is clear that the individual Friend has heard God's instruction correctly, and that they continue to listen to God and neither run ahead or lag behind the Guide. In those cases where the meeting is slow, the minister's faithfulness in waiting for it to catch up brings better fruit in the end. Friends moving ahead on their own in ministry may ask other Friends, or their meeting to help, but if the meeting has not been invited into the clearness process, it has no formal responsibility for carrying the leading forward.
RECEIVING THE GIFT—Barriers to the meeting receiving an offered ministry include failure to honor a local prophet, spiritual envy, power struggles, apathy, secularization, individualism, past personal hurts, etc. I suggest that we be humbly open to what the Spirit might have to teach us from our tradition about acknowledging and naming ministers, and to be aware of what stumbling blocks we encounter or create.
Too often Friends tear down anyone who exhibit gifts that make them stand out. Meetings are seriously weakened when they are denied the right use of gifts God has provided. Those whom God is raising up as mentors, role models, and examples too rarely have the informed, prayerful support they need to function as fully as God would have them. Lloyd Lee Wilson writes: "While one doesn't want to allow scorn to distort one's ministry, negative feedback may mean there is something about one's delivery that is needlessly alienating certain people." One needs to hear both words of support and criticism. While some Friends undermine those with gifts in ministry and eldering, other Friends idolize them, replacing God with something that is not God.
Our firmly held assumption that the individual is of the highest value is a powerful block to the meeting's accepting God-given gifts of ministry and eldering. In our desperate scramble to engender good feelings we have denied the authority of our meetings to draw any boundaries. [After eldering someone who resists the truths given to the group], disownment, removal from membership but not necessarily attendance, was the response to someone who would not or could not live those truths.
Barclay, Bownas, Lloyd Lee Wilson & Patricia Loring are good resources for our traditions on how to identify & support those whom God raises up as ministers & elders. The raw material for our tradition can be found buried in journals, epistles, other writings, & our Quaker stories. [Earlier Friends] will tell you, in a variety of words and metaphor, that there is one, even Christ Jesus, who can speak to your condition. Our meetings have a great responsibility to be gatherings of people who are listening to the Inward Teacher, helping each other listen, and learning how to listen together. Barclay discovered a great "secret power" of meetings that: "as I gave way to it, I found the evil in me weakening, and the good lifted up. Thus it was that I was knit into them ... And I hungered for more and more for the increase of this power and life until I could feel myself perfectly redeemed."
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